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Freakin panic at night

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Posted 4/8/2012 9:44 AM (GMT 0)
You know once you realize that the root of anxiety is the focus you put on your symptoms it gets a lot easier, BUT sometimes you just can't tame the freakin dragon; night anxiety can be a son of a *****.

Especially when you've got a lot on your mind when you're trying to fall asleep (aka the ex boyfriend you know better than to talk to because your emotions skyrocket, the fact that you really need a car and it sucks hard that you crashed your old one, or the frustration at the financial aid office you're trying to get to pay for your outpatient program for your eating disorder! WHEW!)

So there you are, awake with your heart going, your face flushed, and starving (a worst case scenerio for someone with eating issues) thinking maybe something is medically wrong with you because this is freakin crazy.

What can you do? Type drafts to your ex who you'd normally call for a distraction because he used to be there for you and love you, but don't send them because youre pretty sure he's sick of you, try to tune into CHOPPED and not worry about how you're going to feel in the morning?

Make dog treats at 2AM?

The answer of course is all the following, followed by a "why have I started drinking caffine again, oh yeah that's right I've drank lately- another big NONO advised against by my psychologist (right up there with talking to exes and weighing myself)

Ugh you guys, I realize that I'll get through this but man oh man sometimes it is a SON OF A BITC^!

I love you all, goodnight. redface
Posted 4/8/2012 1:51 PM (GMT 0)
Hello SS,

I really liked your post, spells it out pretty well I'd say. It made me reflect back over the last several years for me....not a bad thing.

 

I share this for a reason so hang with me...Back in 06, I hit some major financial issues, lost my truck and my Harley and spent most of the year working things out so I could keep my home.

 

I guess I should mention back then I was suffering from anxiety and panic attacks and had been for years...anywho. I got to the end of 06 and had things squared away with my home and back on track to at least keep that. So I thought to myself at the end of that December....07 can't be any worse, at least I hope it wouldn't because I felt like I didn't have any fight left.

 

To my surprise on February 17th of 07, I found out my wife was cheating on me and confronted her and on February 23rd of 07, she walked out. I had most of the bills and half the income coming in....throw in a pretty healthy tax burden on top of that for good measure.

 

I spent the next three years on my own with a son that I had to get through his senior year in high school....WOW, that ain't cheap! I remember for months after my wife left, it was emotionally wearing me out. It was easy to feel like I would never get my life  back in order and getting through anxiety and panic....forget about it!

 

The point to all this is, I never gave up...fought through the toughest times of my life....with all that financial burden and loosing my wife and best friend of 16 years and all the unknowns in front of me....kind of lost my identity for a good while. I took life a minute at a time sometimes.

 

So I read your post and here I sit 5 years after my life crashed and I can say I am in a happy place. Life feels good, I kind of got my old self back...in many ways improved but yet with some battle scars. I don't get panic attacks anymore and the anxiety these days are tough at times but manageable. I like where I'm at and who I am.

 

I hope if I was able to pull through all of that while dealing with anxiety and panic disorder that you and many others can as well....just don't stop working at it and you just might find yourself in a happy place down the road....Best wishes and Happy Easter....Take care...............WM

Posted 4/8/2012 2:53 PM (GMT 0)
Great posts guys!

SS,

Today is a new day...and I hope a better one for you. You have a lot going on at the moment. Dealing with relationship trouble, an ED, and anxiety has you pretty tapped out.

Take time to take good care of yourself right now. Be patient and kind to YOU! You are taking steps in the right direction to help yourself, so give yourself a pat on the back...well done, and keep up the good work!

We are here to support you always and wish you peace and progress. Let us know how you are doing soon, okay? BIG HUGS!!!

********************************************************

WM,

Thank you for sharing some of your story. It is very helpful for many members I am sure because of the hope that is offers. You have come a long way, even despite really hard and painful circumstances. Great job on your recovery...and I wish you continured healing.


S.C.

Posted 4/8/2012 5:37 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you SC and Happy Easter to you and your family and everyone on Healing well....Happy Easter!
Posted 4/8/2012 6:20 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks scaredycat and thanks wingman, I appreciate it so much :)
Posted 4/9/2012 4:44 PM (GMT 0)
Wingman.. I really appreciate your post. I can relate to the spousal cheating situation. I found out my hubby was also cheating and almost immediately after my health and anxiety spiraled out of control for at least a year. It was awful for my anxiety and it made everything ten times worse. I still can't believe it all happened but I guess what doesn't kill us makes us stronger and I think it did.
Posted 4/9/2012 5:10 PM (GMT 0)
Shooting Star,

I used to sit on the couch and cry while the whole house was sound asleep - but now I am going to make dog treats if you want to send me that recipe.  LOL  I really liked that one as you are being creative.

Should you find your mind racing and you simply can’t achieve sleep, keep a journal beside your bed. Sit upright and start to write down how you feel:

“I’m feeling quite restless. I keep turning over and over, trying to sleep, but I have worries on my mind.” Now write down all of your worries.

Continue to write down your worries until the exercise actually becomes quite boring. Then your body and mind will slowly want to return to sleep. Writing like this is a simple tool for preparing your mind in a linear way to wind down and return to sleep.

Go to bed confident that if you should have a panic attack , you will effectively  deal with it. That way, you don’t put yourself under pressure to not  have a panic attack.

Breathe, smile and be happy !

Kitt

 

 

Posted 4/9/2012 9:37 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, ShootingStar! Anxiety before bed is the worst, especially when you know the solution is to just stop worrying. But then you can't calm down, and you worry about worrying, ugh. I hope you get a good night's sleep tonight. :)
And wingman, your post really touched me...I hope that one day I'm able to look back on this time in the same way you have!
Posted 4/10/2012 1:07 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Wingman.....

WOW, you have the male version of my story! LOL. Same exact thing happened to me in 2007....for me it was May. Found out my husband had been cheated for almost a year!!!!!! Still can't believe I was that naive. In any event, I lost my house (which a year earlier I had spent almost $3000 of my own money to do things to the house) one of my cars, my kitties but one thing I never lost was my willpower. Now, I admit I went through some very tough times back then especially being on my own with three kids.....Son in college, daughter a Sophomore in high school and daughter in 5th grade. But as hard as it was I did it and I'm not bragging but I did a darn good job! :)

Today my son is a teacher, football and baseball coach with a Master degree, my daughter will be transferring in January to a college in Florida majoring in Marine Biology and my other daughter is a freshmen in high school and doing amazing!

So as I look back on the past five years I am grateful for being so strong willed that I didn't give up.....unfortunately I did have some setbacks with my anxiety/panic but I always came out on top. Thanks for sharing! :)

ShootingStar.....the worst anxiety for me was always at night....I got to a point one time when I hated going to bed...literally. I would sleep with the lights on in my bedroom or I would sleep on the couch....well TRY to sleep. My therapist suggested some relaxation CD's to listen to at bedtime with my headphones and it worked! It took about a week for it to really kick in but it did wonders. Food for thought....maybe give it a try! My best to you!!!

Packer
Posted 4/10/2012 2:52 AM (GMT 0)
Very Good job Packer on raising the kids!

I'm also a very proud parent as the son I put through High school is now a Lance Corporal in the United States Marines...Keep on keepin on!!

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