Sorry for the rant....

Hello all,

I am sorry for this rant but I am mad at myself for letting it get me down again. I am so tired of the way i feel and what my mind puts me through, all the crying and feeling depressed. My family thinks I am strange and only wanting every one to feel sorry for me.

They do not understand what I am going through even tho I try to talk to them about it. The body pains and being so scared is not nice, I have 3 children and am scared they will be alone with out me. I do my CBT's, and have been on meds but I can not seem to shake my fear of death of any kind.

I am sitting here crying as I type this, I am so ready to be happy and not worrying all the time, i am tired of not getting good sleep because I am scared to close my eyes. I have asked myself "why did you let it get this bad" I know there was nothing I could do but what I have been for 9 years to get where I do not let these things bother me.

I am sorry for my small rant tonight seems to be a very bad night for me and I hope when I wake up to morrow after finally nodding off soon will be better.


Thanks
Shell

Hey Shell Reading this post, I could relate to the things you were saying. One thing to remember is that people do care, and things will get better. I know it may not seem that way, but one day you will be glad that you kept strong and pulled through this dark time. That being said, having someone to talk to makes that process a lot easier.   Coming here and talking to us is a good thing and sometimes just putting your words down in writing can help you feel less alone.  Let the tears out.  You'd be surprised how much a good cry can do for you. I think it gives you the power to move forward to fix what made you upset to begin with. You have to let out tension and frustration some how, and this is a whole lot better than keeping it bottled up inside. Thinking of you and know that I care. Kindly, Kitt