Anxiety and relationships

Hi

I am new here.  To cut a long story short, I used to be a very down to earth, carefree person.  about 2 years ago I was working at a dreadful company and started to have panic attacks, along with anxiety as well.  I was extremely stressed and wasn't sleeping too well either.  I left the job 6 months ago, which was long overdue, and it took me a little while to get over that.  However, I am still getting anxiety.  I take St Johns Wort and nothing else.  It doesn't affect my new role as I love my job, however, it does affect my relationship (it also did when I was at my old job).  When I feel unsettled and insecure in my relationship, that brings on the anxiety, which makes me feel like I need to talk about my issues with him or accuse him of something (usually something really stupid).  At first he took it and just told me to relax, however, last year he began to fight back and ends up not talking to me for a couple of days.  This, of course, makes my anxiety worse and makes me feel insecure again.  It is like it goes around in circles.  Also, I don't want to be needy either, which is one thing that being insecure in a relationship can do.  I do love him and I know that he loves me, however, I sometimes worry that he is going to break up with me because of my anxiety and behaviour and I even gave him that option the other day and he got really angry and is not speaking to me at the moment.  I just want to go back to the person I used to be.

Your thoughts are causing you to feel very anxious about your relationship, but remember - Feelings Follow Thought - so you need to identify and then re-evaluate, and change your thoughts then you will feel differently. Cognitive behavioural Therapy works in this way.  I am going to post a link to a free CBT program you can work on from your computer.  Many of our members have found this site to be helpful.

Free on-line CBT programs

http://www.moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

I hope this helps you in some small way and do keep talking with us as we know where you are coming from and what you are going through.

Kindly,

Kitt

I am glad we were able to be of help.  Remember it is important to love yourself.   Loving yourself simply means believing in your own essential worthiness. It is nurturing a healthy sense of positive self-regard and knowing in your heart that you are a valuable link in the universal chain. Loving yourself also means actively caring for every facet of yourself. It shows up in every action you take, from putting on a sweater to protect yourself from a chill to leaving a job that does not fulfill you. It means tuning in to your own wants and needs and honoring them the exact same way you want your partner to attend to you.

Remember you are a kind and caring person and you deserve love and respect.

Gentle Hugs,

Kitt