anxiety/depression out of nowhere

hi guys my name is Mike an I'm an 18 year old kid who has everything in life going for me. up until this past December i have lived probbably one of the funnest/best lives i can ask for. one day though, i wanna say around the 15th of december i woke up in a full blown panic attack for no reason and had no idea what to do. i tried going to school and when i walked in i felt the walls closing in on me and felt like everyone around me was staring at me. it was so bad that i just got in my car and went home, and once i walked in the door i vomited. after 15 or 20 minutes it slowed down and i could think again but things never stayed the same since then. ever since then i have been plagued with irrational thoughts and fears and i just cant shut my mind off. I fought through it though for a while and tried everything natural on the planet and it did nothing for me. a big part of it aside from the mental anguish was how it physically wore me down, i felt like i had the flu and never had energy to do anything. everyone around me kept telling me im doing it too myself and that i should try and fight it off. that just makes it worse, the more i fight my thoughts and fears, the more i think and deepen myself in the feeling. i usually get out with my friends and have fun and fight through it. i mean im pretty normal im a great student, a good looking kid and i get plenty of girls, plenty of friends and really no reason to have any of this anxiety. ive gotten numerous amounts of blood tests and the doctors tell me im healthy as healthy can be. these past few weeks for me have been tough. i finially gave into medication 2 weeks ago and tried Zoloft (demon drug for me). it put me in a full blown panic attack for days and i thought i was gonna die and ended up in the hospital. after those 3 days i woke up and felt like myself and was convinced i was fine (probabbly a manic state) that lasted for about 2 days and ever since then ive been having good days and bad days but that really scared me of medication. i have been on Prozac now for 2 days (10 Mg) and i'm so affraid of the same thing happening that im literally making myself sick (threw up this morning). I hope it works but every single day now has become a struggle and its not getting better. im finding it harder and harder to leave the house and what happened with the Zoloft imprinted a bad fear of panic in my head. i just cant seem to shake these thoughts and fears and there basically controlling my life. I cant see myself ever getting better (which i know i will) my mind wont let me see the light. i have no hope for the future even though i have everything going for me and all the support in the world. my parents had to call my college im attending this month (Seton Hall) and cancel my dorming because they dont think i can handle that now especially because i find sleep as a big isssue, i literally cant sleep unless im home in my own bed which even now is sometimes hard to achieve. If anyone out there thinks they know what im going through and can help PLEASE do so ill try anything at this point. I'm affraid of becoming souveirly depressed. i mean im depressed but its because of the way i feel. nothing in my life had happened to cause me depression like the loss of a loved one or something like that. I have actually found a psychiatrist that cares which is rare so im hoping he can help but until then idk what to do i have no patience anymore. i would NEVER EVER commit suicide, im a strong Christian and believe God is putting me through this struggle for a reason. but i literally cant get my mind off how i feel, its all i think about all day every day even when im out, and its controlling me. all my doctors have asked me if im a drug addict lol which im not. i drink sometimes on weekends with my friends but thats it and i havent drank in about a month. i dont do any drugs or anything like that either. I just dont see how something like this can come out of nowhere, if anyone can offer some help or advice it would be greatly appreciated. Thank You

Mike,

I have similar symptoms and lifestyle too you which made me respond to this. I am 24 years old live a pretty good life, always out with friends, usually living my life to the fullest while taking on work and college courses. In december I was getting ready for work and out of no where my heart just started racing which scared me so i went to the ER just to make sure i was okay, they did a EKG and everything was normal. I followed up with my doctor and she put me on Bystolic to help slow down my heart rate. After that in march i went to work, somewhat hungover nothing worse then other days ive gottan through and i just felt very dizzy and my heart rate was really high again, so i went home and rested for a few days and went back to the doctor. I told her about a tragic event that occurred in early december where a young girl had pretty much died in front of me and she thought that may have caused some anxiety, but I think that something like that could not control weird feelings, she proscribed Fluxoetine which i did not take because i dont believe in medicine being able to control my feelings. Over the past months its just gottan worse, Im the same guy as you i like to go out and party with my friends, and this whole summer i havent been able to bc of the awful/weird feelings i have, and in fear that while im out im just gonna get this feelings and bug out. Over the past months ive experienced weird feelings,twitching, numbness, dizziness, hot flashes, nausea, cold/sweating hands and feet, chest pains, bad ingestion.. all things i have never experienced before so when it happens its quite frightening. My blood test came back normal but in the back of my head i keep thinking theres a underlying problem with me. I take classes at kean which im not this semester bc i dont think i can handle a being in class for a few hours, i usually work full time in the summers and i have just worked 3 days a week which alot of days i come home early bc i feel so crappy and not my self, one day i vommitted which i havent from food in from 15 years. All my friends ask why i never come out anymore and they cant seem to understand the feelings i have. I finally gave in to medication too, my doctor put me on buspirone 10mg which ive been on for 3 weeks and hasnt really worked, said it may take a month to actually start working. I tried a psychartist but i sat in his office for 30 mins having my panic attacks and he just beat around the bush so i didnt follow up. Ive pretty much have done the opposite of what my normal daily routines were, most of the comfort i find is at my house and thats it but i dont know how much longer im going to take this without losing my mind i just want to live my normal life again.

Hope this makes you feel a little better, reading yours helped my day a little

"Boomer"

Yeah man no problem it helps when u can relate to someone similar to you and not just think weird old people have these weird issues. I got a follow up with my doctor gonna see if she will do another blood test just to make me feel better...but yeah man I've been laying off the sauce bc the hangover + the panicking isn't worth the buzz at all, I live in the jersey shore heart which is partying central and just been a bum all summer,were young man too young to have to deal with this crap but even tho we get these thoughts of doom I'm sure we're just in a funk and well be good soon, lemme know how ur crap goes with ur doctor Ill do the same man, take it easy man and feel better

bro me and my mom have been doing research look into pyroluria and high and low histamine levels i had every single symptom of pyroluria and high histamine levels and all it is a b6 defiency and zinc defiency may sound crazy but just look into it

Mike-

Saw your story and couldn't help but notice how similar it was to mine. I'm 21 years old and have everything going for me and am normally as happy as can be. Then one morning I woke up after drinking and accidently taking too much cough medicine (which I never ever do) and was sent into a panic and thought I was gonna die and all these crazy things. I couldn't shake the feeling and always felt like I was in a fog and couldn't enjoy things cause all I could think about was my anxiety and what I was going through. I was having horrible trouble sleeping and had decreased appetite which was extremely uncharacteristic of me. It got so bad I had to come home from college for a week and thought about dropping out for the semester. I finally decided to go talk to a doctor about it and she put me on Lexapro and had me begin regular thereapy sessions. I hated it cause I felt like a crazy person and really hated the idea of being on meds and was scared about how they would affect me and if they would hurt my body. That was about 4 months ago now I'm feeling ALOT better - can focus, not constantly worried or in a fog, and can enjoy things again. I'm already starting to come off the meds and have cut back on the therapy sessions as well. Just gotta hang in there man it does get alot better and you will feel normal and like your old self again panic and anxiety are just the body's normal response to fear and when we observe the physical symptoms of it we worry even more about what is happening to us when really there was nothing to worry about in the first place! I know you'll get better and let me tell you when you first fell like your normal self again it is an AWESOME feeling and you will start to worry alot less.

Boomer and pb,

A warm welcome to each of you. It is great to see new members connect and help each other out with similar issues!

Thanks for contributing, post often, and start your own thread of introduction anytime if you feel comfortable doing so.

I hope you find this a great place of information and support.

Be well.

Scaredy Cat

Boomer, nothings wrong man ive literally gotten every vitamin,mineral,organ, you name it and nothing but a slight potassium deficency... i even got my neurotransmitters tested tried to assess that and nothing... therefore its gotta be all in my head and im just gonna work on it ive done everything else the only thing that really helps is getting out but ill figure it out

Mike, glad to see your starting to visit with a therapist; that helped me alot probably alot more than the meds. And no it wasn't like I woke up one day and it was gone, but I will say getting better may be faster than you think at least for me. Like I know exactly what your saying about trying to think positive and you body shuts you down like you won't let yourself see the reality that you're fine and are really the same person even though you don't beleive it. Like I know when I was anxious I stopped doing things I enjoyed (hanging out with friends, working out, video games, whatever) and that in turn made me more depressed/anxious/discouraged. But the more you force yourself to do the things you enjoy the more you'll get caught up in what your doing and completely forget about anxiety. I mean I'm sure you will still have times where you feel anxious I still do, but its not at the forefront of my mind and I know that its nothing to be afraid of and it will really only last for a short period of time.

Yea the more attention you give it the worse it is don't worry constantly about feeling better just know it will happen and try to focus on things you enjoy and know that if anxiety comes it will only be temporary

hey guys

Im 24 years old and I completely BEAT my anxiety about 7 years ago. I didnt want to leave my house, I had to be home schooled because i couldnt make it through school. I quit sports because traveling on the bus gave me HUGE panic attacks. I started going to a counselor for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy which i didn't think helped at the time but in the long run it does. I started meds and they do take at least 4-6 weeks to take full effect. Also, not every medicine will be right for you, its trial and error. But I am an advocate for medicine because it saved my life. I went from being a hermit and thinking my life was going to be spent living at home in a dark room to applying to college and doing 4 years then graduating and landing my first career job and doing completely fine. I flew to Vegas with my boyfriend and was fine.
All of a sudden now I am experiencing those EXACT symptoms that I did 7 years ago...out of nowhere when I went 5 to 6 years with NO symptoms at all, felt like I could conquer the world. I feel helpless now, and like im back at square 1...I think the medication im on has just run its course because ive been on it so long and I need a new medicine for me to feel better again. But I know exactly what you are feeling, its really awful. But dont give up on the medication, something will work for you, and it saved my life. I am certain I will find something else to work for me, just trying to get through this tough time now.

Ashton