I should learn by now.

I've been having a mild burning in my chest with my tummy feeling really hard. The burning lasts seconds and doesn't 'hurt' but I'm well aware that it pops up. I took 2 tums and the tummy is no longer hard as a rock. And the burning sensation hasn't showed up. The pressure that was on my lungs from my tummy is gone now as well and I am breathing fine. (besides the slight panic breathing)

Just the other night I had this. And it took seconds (first time) for it to finally set off a panic attack. I had never felt this before. So I freaked. Major. I paced the house for an hour and a half to the point I was dizzy from walking in circles. Felt light headed and total loss of control. Cried my eyes out for 3 hours. Finally went and laid down with hubby and had the shakes and just couldn't control it.

I've been on edge waiting for this major panic attack for well over a month now. It was a relief to finally get it over with.

But, the 'scare' of this new sensation is bothering me. I've had acid reflux issues before. But that usually is just pain in my throat with a yucky taste, but no chest pain. Just in the back of my throat.

Well since I've never had this before. Hubby said it sounded like 'heartburn'. Well I looked it up. And it really doesn't sound like it to me. But yet the tums worked. So it must be right?

On the bottom of the page was the warning of symptoms that it could be a heart attack. Well idiot me read them. Ugh, I just need to stop doing that. The one that said was "hard to breath". Well it wasn't hard to breath but more of a limited breath intake. Kinda like my allergies were really bad.
And cold sweats. Well I get sweats all the time. And when I went outside I was cold. The house is warm and there is a cool breeze outside. So I got a little chili but was over when I came in.


So this leaves me sitting at my computer desk. Wanting to go run and hide. I'm just so done with this anxiety stuff. Ugh.. Just wish it was like a job and you can quit and go home never to deal with it again.

I want to cry and just let it all out. But it just gets harder and harder to just let go.

I hope everyone is having a much better night then I am. Huge hugs for everyone.
Allie

Thanks S.C.

Sometimes its just frustrating when the mind wonders to the irrational part of this whole anxiety/panic stuff.

We all know really deep down we are ok. And that its just anixety/panic making us feel the way we do. No matter how many times I tell myself I'm ok. It just sometimes doesn't ward off the fear that shows its ugly head.

It doesn't help that money is and always will be an issue for us. With me not being able to work. It just makes it hard. So not having a doc to see causes so much stress. If I could see one 2 to 3 times a year even I'd do so much better.
My daughter had an eye infection (pink eye) which I knew what it was and what was needed. Took her to the doc 15 minutes in and out. Bill... $216. Though the doc insisted I needed allergy drops for her. Which was another $160. But we didn't get them. Just the $22 for the cream.

Before my doc left almost 2 years ago he only charged us 50 bucks a visit so it was easier to go seem him when needed. Same clinic different doc and I can't afford to go anymore.

But I have some good news. I found a based on income clinic not to far from me. Up the hill from us so I didn't know it was there since I rarely ever go that direction.. No need.. haha I don't work at Nasa..haha

Gonna give them a call tomorrow and see how it works. I think my bf's income might just ruin it for us though. He makes ok money. We don't have extra. But we are comfortable. I don't know, I'll have to call and see.

Btw S.C its nice having people like you around. I know when I come here in need of just a hug and a reminder. You will be there. So please don't ever think its unnoticed or for granted. And a huge thank you.

Thanks for the sweet words Allie...it means a lot:)

That is great news about the sliding scale medical facility that you found...good job! You may not have an issue with assistance, because you and your daughter would, I believe be considered, without the income of your boyfriend? I am not sure, and am certainly not suggesting that you purposely don't disclose the income that he provides for you...but I know that in some areas (check yours) a single mom qualifies for a lot of help:)

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

S.C.