HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

fear of throwing up

Support Forums
>
Anxiety & Panic Disorders
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 10/1/2012 5:10 AM (GMT 0)
Hey, I'm new to this site and Scaredy Cat recommended making my own topic, so here goes!

Well, just to introduce myself, I'm a 22 year old female and have been told I have panic disorder and possibly generalized anxiety. When I was younger there would occasionally be times when I would wake up in the middle of the night feeling really sick, then I would realize that I was intensely nervous. My mom has struggled with panic attacks and my sister did for a while as well, so I was pretty familiar with them. The attacks weren't severe yet at that point; they weren't very often at all and it would go away in about 10 minutes as soon as I was able to focus on something else.

I also struggle with OCD, and I can see that it effected my childhood. In school I would have certain rituals I would have to do, and one year in high school it was so bad my grades dropped considerably because I wasn't able to finish my homework due to the rituals taking too long. I also used to be worried everyday about speaking in front of the class, although I wouldn't necessarily consider those panic attacks. Perhaps they were mild ones, but certainly nothing compared to what I have now.

Moving on to college years. Beginning in freshman year, towards the end, I had a really bad panic attack and thought that I was sick with a stomach illness. After going to the school nurse and talking to my mom on the phone, I realized it was a panic attack. I felt better after knowing that, because it really helps knowing I'm not sick. I have a VERY intense fear of vomiting. More on that later. The panic attack made it difficult to eat because I felt a gagging feeling in my throat and since I'm afraid of throwing up I would rather just avoid eating. This is a problem in itself, but I'm already pretty underweight as it is, which most likely is because I'm afraid to eat certain things for fear of getting sick. Anyways, I had a large panic attack like the one freshman year during junior year as well, and it lasted a couple of weeks. Eating was such a problem I would try to get at least 1000 calories a day, and that was difficult enough. Senior year was after I already started getting medication, but the whole year I struggled with panic attacks and feeling the gagging feeling.

The panic attacks seemed to be triggered by 2 different things: 1) if I felt sick at all I would start panicking about throwing up, thus feeling worse, and 2) I've always been kind of a loner, but I ended up falling in love with a guy who was my best friend. I struggled with what I was feeling because I have abandonment and trust issues so I was afraid to feel too much for someone. Then at the end of junior year he got a girlfriend. We weren't really able to remain best friends since then, because his gf became his best friend. And him and I had previously done some "physical" stuff together, so his gf obviously didn't want her bf to continue being best friends with a girl who was in love with him and had a history with him. I don't fully understand all those emotions, but I still get nervous more than I used to and I still care about the guy very much even though we don't keep in contact. And I get nervous everytime I think of him.

This is getting way too long and detailed, so I will try to end this. The main thing I struggle with is my fear of vomitting. I don't eat at restaurants because I'm afraid I will get food poisoning. I actually basically eat junk food that's packaged, and then nutrition drinks. I'm not sure why I'm so afraid of throwing up, because I haven't done it since second grade. I remember not being that bothered by it when that happened though. The teacher got mad at me though, and so did the secretary at the school, so maybe that has something to do with it? But also I hate feeling sick to my stomach. And I feel so powerless when I feel nauseous, like I'm trapped and if throwing up was the only way to feel better then there's nothing I can do to prevent it. I guess if anything, if anyone reads this, could you somehow help me not be afraid anymore? My other issues seem to stem from being afraid of vomitting. I've been to counselors but they haven't really helped with this issue. As I mentioned in another post, I ask friends and family what it feels like to throw up, and compare it with different thigs and ask how bad it is. How different is throwing up than gagging? Everyone says I should just throw up because then I won't be afraid anymore because it's not so bad, but I'm so scared.

Sorry this is so long; if you only want to read one paragraph the last one is the one that I need help with. The rest is all just history. One more question: yeah what is this smiley doing??

Posted 10/1/2012 5:33 AM (GMT 0)
Lol, I've always thought that smiley was a little weird too! I think it's supposed to be the happy dance;p

Well great job on your introduction...and you have sure come to the right place! So many members here share this fear to some extent.

No one likes being sick or vomiting...but some of us seem to take it to a new level, right? Some people have a deep dread of it (I am in that range) while others are absolutely terrified of it, and can't even read or type the 'V' word. It sounds like you are in between there somewhere...

Emetophobia is more common then a lot of people think. If you do a search here at HW, you can find lots of old threads to read through. This may help you to feel less alone, and to get some good advice.

I can also look up an on-line information/help group (specifically for this phobia) for you that I have posted in the past for others. Just let me know if you are interested.

I am sure that you will be hearing from others as well on this subject.

Keep posting. I think you will find that having common issues and talking about them with others is very healing!

Talk to you soon,

S.C.
Posted 10/1/2012 9:51 AM (GMT 0)
You should visit my thread (in exactly the same boat as you!). The "fear of vomiting" one. I am having it tough atm.

I know how you feel and what it's like. I'm currently living with it and finding it hard. I have good days and bad days but overall it's just one messy cycle.
Posted 10/1/2012 7:35 PM (GMT 0)
I know exactly what you are going through. It is awful! I don't know how it started. When I feel even slightly nauseaus I got all hot, sweaty, and light-headed. I have to pace around the room and I usually take an anti anxiety med to calm me down. If I'm out in public....forget it. I have an intense fear of throwing up in front of people. I was at a huge meeting once and was seated in around the middle row. Started having the nauseaus feeling and knew I had to get up and leave the room. I seriously almost fainted walking out of that room because I thought everyone was looking at me. (They probably weren't but during a panic attack, that's how it feels). I have such a fear of germs as a result of this and probably wash my hands 50 times a day. Also, before I cook or bake I have to deep scrub with tons of soap all of the pots/pans/utensils I will be using. It takes me longer to do all of this than the cooking/baking prep does. It's highly annoying and disruptive of my life that I usually find an excuse to get take-out. There are so many other examples of how this fear affects my life, but that's just a few of them.

I also have OCD very bad!! My 'rituals' take soooo long sometimes, I hate it:( Hopefully we can be of some support to eachother, hang in there!

Chrissy
Posted 10/1/2012 9:30 PM (GMT 0)
yeah  AriannaKay,

I think this smiley is happily agreeing with you or congratulating you for finding this awesome forum where others know what you are going through.

I hate the feeling of being nauseated but rarely do I vomit.  There is a book you may want to order from Amazon or any book store, Living with Emetophobia: Coping with Extreme Fear of Vomiting by Nicolette Heaton-Harris.

 

I hope you keep on talking with us and that you find sharing with others helps to decrease your anxiety. 

 

Welcome to HealingWell - we love our new members.

 

Kindly,

Kitt

 

Posted 10/1/2012 10:21 PM (GMT 0)
ScaredyCat, sgm, AutumnLove, and stkitt: thanks for reading this and responding!

Scaredy, thanks for being so welcoming to the forum and understanding of everyone's issues. You seem like a very compassionate person, and I'm glad you're here. :)

sgm, I think your topic was one of the first ones I read on here, and I even responded because as you can tell, I know what you're going through. It's helpful knowing that I'm not the only one with this fear, especially because my friends and family sometimes say it's a random thing to be afraid of. And it's reassuring to know that my symptoms are actually anxiety, and not something medical that I would have to go to the doctor for.

AutumnLove (Chrissy), I usually feel lightheaded first as well! The first thing that I notice when I start getting nervous is that my palms start getting sweaty, and then if I focus too much on it then I can have a panic attack and I feel the gagging feeling in my throat and get lightheaded and then my panicking usually gets even worse because I worry that if I pass out I will have to go to a hospital and then I worry that I would also throw up. Pretty much all I can do is sip water and go to the bathroom until I relax. It really is a horrible feeling. :(

stkitt, thanks for recommending the book! I might check it out. The only thing stopping me is that when I read about anxiety related stuff then I get more anxious, and sometimes I worry it might trigger a panic attack.

If anyone reads this who does not have a fear of vomitting, could you please explain why it's not a fear for you?

And this may be TMI, so feel free not to read this! But with my siblings and parents and friends and everything I ask what it feels like to throw up (since I don't remember) and I ask them to compare it to what it feels like to gag. If anyone could maybe elaborate on that, that might help me. I don't like gagging, but a couple times during my worst panic attacks when I feel nauseous I just gagged twice but didn't throw up. So I know what gagging feels like, and even though I don't like it I know it's not too bad. My friend told me that throwing up is just like gagging only when you throw up stuff comes out, but I was wondering what other people think. I think the only reason this helps me is because then if I realize it's not as bad as other things I've experienced, then maybe I won't be as afraid.
Posted 10/1/2012 11:38 PM (GMT 0)
This has been an issue for me since I was a little kid. I hate hate hate to throw up and will make myself feel worse the same as you but not always. My daughter caught a bug last year and threw up all day long. The next day I had it. For some reason I just told myself go throw up and you will feel better. If I'm really sick all I really have to do is think about it and I will throw up. I also was not nervous about it when I had morning sickness with all three of my children. I must have gotten sick sometimes 30 times a day. For me its also worse if I am vomiting food instead of just liquid and dry heaving is just a horrible feeling in itself too. I also cannot deal with vomit if my daughter gets sick with any food. If its liquid I'm ok. The smell just overwhelms me. However, my dog could get sick and it doesn't bother me. Messed up I know. I've been this way for over 30 years. I have found a couple things that kind of get me out of the weird obsessive "omg I feel sick, I don't want to get sick, I'm so hot and feel faint" thing that I do. I try to always have ginger ale in the house (and I have to hide it because my family likes ginger ale). The ginger helps alot if I'm a little woozy. Secondly I find something that I think smells good. For me its a lotion and I put some on my hands and breathe deeply and focus on that smell. It kinda gets me out of my panic attack. It works for me most of the time so I thought I would share. I always felt I couldn't be the only one with this problem. Good to know I'm not alone. :)
Posted 10/2/2012 12:32 AM (GMT 0)
As far as the question of what it feels like to throw up...for me it's not the actual throwing up...I have had plenty of experience with that, and it is not that bad really.

What bothers me is the out of control feeling that accompanies it...and the nausea.

You know when you were a little kid and you would eat and drink too much and then run around, and oops, you would burp and some liquid (and maybe a little food) would come up? That would be fine, I could handle that...and sometimes anxiety induced vomiting is simple like that...

...but the stomach flu or food poisioning vomiting is ususally pretty rough, with like I said before the nausea as well as feeling weak and dizzy...all the stuff that I can't stand!

I actually didn't develop this problem until I had a really severe virus...and I'll spare the details, but I'll suffice to say that it was very bad, and now my brain kind of equates any stomach flu experience to that!

I don't know if this helps, but that's my best description of how it feels for me.

Keep posting!

S.C.
Posted 10/2/2012 1:30 AM (GMT 0)
sherbear, thanks for the tips! They sound like they will help, so I intend to try them.

Scaredy, I really hate feeling nauseous as well, and that might be part of the reason I'm afraid of throwing up, because whenever I'm afraid of throwing up it's usually because I feel sick.

I get nervous if other people throw up as well. For one thing, I'm afraid I will get sick from them, but for another thing it causes me to feel gaggy. I usually will leave the house if someone is throwing up, and not come back until they're done. I'm starting to get desensitized by it though. When characters on television would vomit, sometimes I would leave the room and be really nervous, but now I just cringe a bit and look away, but I don't feel as much anxiety. I think when people throw up the sound is also horrible. Ugh, thinking too much about it makes me feel kinda sick.
Posted 10/2/2012 4:04 PM (GMT 0)
Yep don't want to see or hear anyone throw up. I'm a little better than I used to be. I would go to another part of the house if someone was in a bathroom throwing up. It still grosses me out but I can hear and it and not take off somewhere else. I've also had to deal with my daughter getting sick on numerous occasions. If someone has a virus I don't even have to have it but I will feel sick and then worry that I will get it too even though it doesn't bother me so much when I have a virus. It seems to be more of the "oh God I don't want to get sick too". I am also the hand sanitizer queen. We go anywhere at all and I put it on. After every store. Last winter my daughter and I didn't even get a cold. We haven't been so lucky the past few months but I still figure we would have gotten alot more if we hadn't used it.
Posted 10/2/2012 6:28 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, I have also posted in the past that I am a 'member' of the fear of barfing 'club'. In fact, I just got back from my psych Dr. and told him I am NOT improving despite finally giving in and taking Lexapro. I had begun CBT, but my therapist has been on medical leave since August...so I'm on a wing & a prayer right now.

I have very severe OCD trying to disinfect every surface imaginable. I am purely exhausted by this demon, as I know many of us are. It's strength is unbelievable.
Posted 10/5/2012 5:04 AM (GMT 0)
Hey everyone, thanks again for taking the time to read this and respond. I went to see a psychiatrist today just to make sure my meds are being monitored, since I lived somewhere else while I went to school but now I'm back at my parent's house. I think I will be in an anxiety group, depending on my work schedule.

I just got a job recently (my first 'real' job) and I had orientation yesterday and started to have a panic attack. When we were given a tour of the store my knees were shaking so bad and I was getting lightheaded and dizzy, as well as that gagging feeling in my throat. I took a xanax during the break we got, and I only use the xanax very rarely since I know it can be habit forming. Plus it makes me sleepy. I seemed ok after that, but I'm not sure if it's because of the xanax or because there was only about an hour left of orientation and all we had to do was watch a boring movie. I just don't understand what got me so nervous in the first place. I think I dwell on how I feel, and then I get worried that something will happen and because of the self-fullfilling prophecy thing it does happen. I kept worrying about what would happen if I faint, or feel faint. I would think "well I would have to sit down and everyone would be staring at me and asking if I'm ok and I would interrupt everything, or if I were to pass out they would probably call an ambulance and I'd have to get an IV, etc." This causes me to worry more so then I DO start feeling lightheaded. Does anyone have any tips on how to stop these thought processes?

I go to work again tomorrow for training, and I'm already getting nervous and feel an increase in the gagging feeling. :(

I don't know why I didn't mention this before, but I'm a Christian, and if anyone else is a Christian could you please pray for me? Thanks.

Posted 10/5/2012 2:47 PM (GMT 0)
Hi AK,

I will keep you in my prayers!:)

I also have some ideas for you to try, but am pressed for time at the moment...I will get back to you soon, but wanted you to know for now that you are doing great and not to worry about tomorrow's training.

Talk to you in a bit

S.C.
Posted 10/5/2012 3:58 PM (GMT 0)
Okay I am back...

So I remember from another post that you have a great mantra...use that during your training! My go to is "This is only fear/anxiety making me feel this way" that way, whatever symptom of anxiety I am feeling...I am reassuring myself that it is not illness or a medical emergency about to take me down...just the same stuff that I have successfully faced down before!

The fear of vomiting/fainting have roots in the fear of losing control, or making a scene...so try to let go of the control. I know easier said than done...but in the big picture, what would really be so bad if it actually happened? True it would be temporarily uncomfortable and embarassing for a while...but the truth is, everyone has had a moment similar to something like this and lived through it...and it most likely isn't going to happen anyway, so letting go of the fear can help you to avoid the hold that the symptoms have on you.:)

Adopting a "So what? I can't control it anyway" attitude has helped me a lot, once I got past the fear of letting go of the control in the first place!

Also envisioning a postitive outcome can go a long way in helping you to feel relaxed about your day. Picture yourself at your training feeling calm and good...having no anxiety issues at all and completing the job feeling great. This will keep the negative anticipatory stress and the 'what-if' feelings away.

Let us know how it goes...you will do great I am sure.:)

S.C.
Posted 10/6/2012 1:00 AM (GMT 0)
Scaredy Cat, thanks so much for your posts and prayers! I got to work really early so I was just waiting in the car, and it seems like when I wait I start to worry. I called my sister though and that got my mind off it. I actually wasn't really nervous when I started working. Hopefully now that I've been there without worrying, it will make next time more comfortable as well.
Posted 10/6/2012 4:31 AM (GMT 0)
Yeah!! That is great news:)

Yes, now that you have gotten through a day without anxiety, the rest will be easy from here on out...and if you do start to feel nervous at any point...you can remind yourself that you can do it since you had success before!

Thanks for the update.:)

S.C.
Posted 10/6/2012 6:19 AM (GMT 0)
I have this problem too. I've had a lot of stomach problems lately and I really do vomit sometimes, so it's hard for me to go in public without the fear of vomiting. Sometimes I'll be in the middle of grocery shopping and I'll start thinking "I'm going to throw up" so I have to rush out even if I'm not done shopping. It happens to me in class too. A lot of the time I'll feel better if I just tell myself "you felt fine before you started thinking about it. You've felt fine all day until you got here. There is no reason for you to be feeling like this." Also recently I've started checking my pulse and if it's rapid I know it's anxiety.
It takes a while to get over something like this but I think I will, and you will too.
Posted 10/7/2012 2:55 AM (GMT 0)
Lindsay, I'm sorry that your anxiety happens in public places. I also feel better when I think about the same thing you do, like knowing that I felt fine before so I know I'm not sick and the only reason I feel sick is because of anxiety. It really sucks having to deal with it on a daily basis. I think I'm getting a lot better than I was before, so I'm thankful for that. :)

One of the triggers for my anxiety is also car rides when I'm not driving. I tend to feel carsick at times, and that only started happening after I got my liscense and became used to myself driving. Now if other people drive I almost always start getting a weird dizzy feeling in my head and then I start getting anxious about it. Like I mentioned before, I can always tell when I'm starting to panic because my palms start getting sweaty. Once I notice it though I try to calm down. It also seems worse when my mom drives because she's not as gentle with the brakes, so the jerking motion gets me dizzy. And today we were going somewhere and since she's a veterinarian she was going into detail about this dog that isn't doing well, and I get squeamish easily so I started getting lightheaded as well. Usually what calms me down is knowing that once we reach our destination and I can be in fresh air I feel better.

When I saw a psychiatrst on Thursday, first they have new clients talk to a therapist just to see what kind of treatment they need. I was telling the therapist about my fear of throwing up and how I hate feeling nauseous as well. She said that for her the worst feeling is feeling car sick. Anyone reading this, do you notice any difference between feeling nauseous and feeling motion sickness? If so, which one do you think is worse?

Posted 10/7/2012 2:07 PM (GMT 0)
AK,

I do not notice a difference between motion sickness and nausea...feeling sick is feeling sick to me...whatever the source is.

I don't get carsick anymore, but used to as a kid, and I remember it was awful! My MIL still gets sick in the car/plane, you name it...we went on a train ride this Summer while they were vistiting...one of those really slow tour-type trips, and we had to stop on the way because she forgot her Bonine! Seriously, the train didn't go over 20 miles an hour (cars were passing us)...and in a straight line of course, but better safe than sorry!

Have you tried the pressure point wristbands? I have heard that some people get relief from them for carsickness. It might be worth a try for you.

I hope that you have a great day free of anxiety and stomach worry.:)

S.C.
Posted 10/8/2012 3:59 AM (GMT 0)
ScaredyCat, thanks so much for reading all my posts. I notice you seem to always be reading what everyone writes and being encouraging in every post you write. Thanks so much for your kindness!

When I get motion sickness it just seems more like a dizzy feeling in my head, compared to what I would describe as nausea which is more an upset stomach feeling for me. I understand that motion sickness feels different for different people, but I think for everyone it's pretty miserable.

I really don't like the gagging feeling I get constantly in my throat. Sometimes I will just be laying down reading a book and I will start feeling like I'm going to gag, and my palms start getting sweaty so I know it's just nerves and I take a deep breath and am able to calm down. I just don't like having to deal with this so often! Before I started taking medication for anxiety I was feeling it basically 24/7 for about a month, and it was horrible. Now I notice it happening at random times or just constantly being there but not as strongly as it was before. Also sometimes if I laugh too much I feel like I'm going to gag, and I'm not much of a cryer but when I cry I also feel that way. If I watch something scary on TV I also get the gaggy feeling (maybe because of the apprehension and anxiety about what will happen next) and if I watch something where people on TV are crying I start getting the gagging feeling. Sorry to ramble on and on about this, but does anyone have any tips to avoid this feeling? It sometimes triggers my panic attacks. I know sipping water or taking small bites of food helps, as well as being distracted. But are there any other tips?

✚ New Topic ✚ Reply