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I'm a hypochondriac

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Posted 11/23/2012 3:10 AM (GMT 0)
I've been nodding in agreement a lot while reading through these posts. I know exactly what many of you are going through.

I never had any anxiety until 3 years ago. At 37, I was driving at work and started getting a painless fluttering in my chest. I definitely had a "This can't be good" feeling, and it concerned me just a little bit. After a few months of changing sensations, I finally saw a doctor. I got an EKG and a stress test, and everybody said that all looked perfectly fine. They attributed it to stress, caffeine and chewing tobacco use.

That put my mind at ease for several months, but I was still feeling things in my chest from time to time. Mild discomfort, and not even over my heart, but that alarm was still going off every time I felt anything at all near my chest... no matter how mild, brief or infrequent. Regardless of what the doctors said, I was still sure that they were wrong.

Since then, I became hypersensitive to everything going on in my body. Unless I feel perfect, I think that I have something seriously wrong with me. And sometimes even when I do feel perfect.

Last year I watched some infomercial about moles, and how they can become dangerous. It got me checking mine, and freaking out when I found some that I didn't remember having before. I made an appointment with a dermatologist soon after. Only problem was that it was in 2 weeks, and I was freaking out because that was too long. What if I have a malignant one? This could be bad! I need to see him now!! 2 weeks may be too late!!!

No worries, everything was fine, nothing was unusual.

Months later, I noticed a little added chubbiness in my left armpit. Checking my right one for symmetry, it wasn't the same, so I started freaking out again. Lymphoma! Lymphoma! Oh god, no. I got another appointment with a doctor, but it was in 3 weeks. Again, thinking that I didn't have 3 weeks, I went to an Urgent Care to get checked out much sooner. His diagnosis was that it was fat... a little more under that arm than they other.

I didn't believe him, so I kept the original appointment. That doc said the same thing 3 weeks later.

One month I was coughing a lot for weeks. Uh oh, a persistent cough is a symptom of lung cancer. I must have it! Never mind the fact that I don't smoke, that doesn't matter. I BELIEVED it. Off to Urgent Care again for the bad news. The doctor examined me for literally 15 seconds and confidently said it was Bronchitis.

Over the last 3 years, I've been convinced that I've had every terminal disease known to exist. Believed it in my soul. I mainly quit chewing tobacco because I was tired of the sleepless nights and the anxiety that came every time I got a canker sore.

A common thing I feel now is if I'm eating with my feet kicked up on a chair. I'll suddenly lose my appetite, then feel some sweeping mist of weakness kind of encompass my upper torso. I can't even describe it, which is the worst part, since I don't know how to describe it to a doctor. When I feel this, my instinct is to stand up, drink water, start fidgeting and pacing. I'm in no pain, but I'm overcome with a feeling of dread, like something is horribly wrong... like I'm going to die.

This health anxiety really sucks. You're not alone.
Posted 11/23/2012 3:31 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Dave and welcome!

I am sorry that you are dealing with the effects of health anxiety, but glad that you have joined us, and are feeling a sense of connection here.

I think that you have described the feelings of how anxiety manifests itself really well. A 'sweeping mist of weakness' is not only familiar to me and pretty accurate...it's also very poetic!;)

I have had a lot of what you describe in your post. I have been through CBT (therapy) and done a lot of self help on my own, which has given me the tools to deal with the anxiety and symptoms well...but it is still a thing that I have to manage daily...and part of that is being here in a community with others who understand.

So post with us anytime. This is a great place for support, healing and sharing. Feel free to start your own post of introduction if you feel comfortable doing so...and we look forward to getting to know you better.

Talk to you soon,

Scaredy Cat
Posted 12/4/2012 6:36 PM (GMT 0)
I have been on health boards for a while now...usually looking up symptoms etc but today decided to look up health anxiety/hypochondria which brought me to this site.

I have been dealing with anxiety and panic attacks, which started shortly after my mom passed away six years ago.

I constanly have stomach issues and after an endoscopy and colonoscopy was told that I have IBS. It was under control for two years and then I recently went in for a physical and was told that my WBC's were slightly elevated, my blood sugar was slightly elevated as was one of my liver enzymes (ALP). I have never had any abnormalities in my blood work other than high cholesterol so this is freaking me out. I wake up every morning with my heart pounding out of my chest and with such dread of the day ahead of me.

I have a nine year old and it is all I can do to get her ready for school and myself ready for work in the mornings. I think about what is wrong with me 24/7 and it is taking it's toll on me and everyone around me.

My Uncle was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer so I have convinced myself that I have something wrong with my liver, gallbladder and or pancreas.

I worry about not being here for my daughter which adds to my anxiety. Those that don't have this health anxiety tell you to "just stop worrying about it, you can't control it either way". Which makes sense logically but is impossible to do!

I'm currently on Paxil and an occasional Xanax but it has only helped me somewhat.

The closer I get to my doctor's appt tomorrow the worse I get. I was fine for a couple of weeks but then this past weekend it all flared up again. Thought maybe it had something to do with getting my period but the anxiety just won't let up!

So grateful for finding this board and reading all the posts have really helped me...I need to stop going back and googling every ache and pain I get I know it is making me so much worse!

Post Edited (tlsmith) : 12/4/2012 12:00:08 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 12/4/2012 8:05 PM (GMT 0)
Hi tlsmith and welcome!

I am glad that you found us here.:) You are in good company as you can see from the length of this thread! Many members struggle with health anxiety, so rest assured, you are not alone.

I too have had some out of range results on my yearly blood tests. I used to worry a lot over these. My doctor reassured me that the averages for these tests are taken from a wide range of people, and they are just that...average ranges...so to be a little out of range is not necessarily a red flag. Also, doctors know how to look for combinations of results that would be indicative of something to worry about, so if you have just a random high or low number it often doesn't mean anything.

If your doctor tells you not to worry, then I would suggest putting the burden of dealing with those results with him/her. I did just that...and this year, I did not even request a copy of my CBC's...I just trusted that the doctor would call me if I needed something brought to my attention. I must be fine, because I was not called in, and this was very freeing!:)

Try to envision a good result for visit tomorrow with nothing but good news. You will find that positive imagery will reduce your worries about your appointment, and keep you from dwelling on it.

If you really can't keep from worrying about it, try this mantra...I use it often. I tell myself:

'It is not time to worry about that right now.'

I then go on to distract myself with some other activity to keep my mind busy and off my concern(s).

Let us know how your appointment goes. While you are there perhaps you might want to ask about a therapy referral from your doc? Many members here, myself included have benefitted greatly from it!

Again welcome, and keep posting!

Scaredy Cat
Posted 12/4/2012 10:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hello i just wanted to say i feel so happy that im not alone and im not the only one with this issue. Reading some of the things I can see some of myself in everyones posts. I myself always ask my my family and my therapist's for reassurance on if I'm sick or not. My fears bounce back and forth between testicular caner, colon cancer, and heart attacks. Right now im going through the first two at once and i dont know how to stop. Though iv been living it the last 16 or so years i still have a hard time believing my mind is creating all my symptoms. Because i know the symptoms of all of them depending on my stress level at random times my body will produce the symptoms. Right now im having groin pain and stomach pain i have to force myself to stay off the internet and not to check myself hundreds of times. Does anyone else go through this? I had all the tests in the last 5 years iv had 3 colonoscopys, 3 to4 scans on my testicles, 3 stress tests an echos, alot of ekgs. And wore a monitor all came back great. How can i stop doing this to myself? My life is super stressful and this adds to it is anyone like me?
Posted 12/5/2012 2:41 AM (GMT 0)
Hello,
I was having another night of sleeplessness due to my health anxieties when I came across this thread. My fear is that I will die of a heart problem, which started because I'd been getting heart flutters (fast, irregular and faint beats lasting about 15 seconds) whilst playing football. Even after a blood test, chest xray, ecg and echocardiogram (all of which were normal, in fact the Dr said I have an athletic heart) I'm still not convinced. I check my pulse regularly, have an over sensitive awareness of my heart (its either beating too hard/ fast or too faint/ slow), and the muscles on the left side my chest are constantly tense. I tend to get my symptoms at night but sometimes feel weak/ tired/ distant during the day. The most frustrating part is that I'm scared to partake in physical activity in case I have a sudden cardiac arrest, I really do miss playing football most of all. Could anxiety have caused those heart flutters I described earlier that have been the root of all of this?
It helps to read everyone's comments and it actually made me smile when I read some sentences that I could have written word for word! Not that I wish any of you had these issues, Its just comforting somehow...
James
Posted 12/5/2012 5:01 AM (GMT 0)
Hi hypo/24/7 and Jimmeh and welcome!!

I am sorry to hear that you are both dealing with health anxiety, but glad that you have found us.

I hope that you both find this a place of encouragement, information, and sharing.

hypo,

It looks like you have had some therapy in the past? How helpful did you find it? Was it a specific type of therapy, and did your therapist attempt to help you with the health anxiety? Many of us here have had really good results with CBT. Also there are some great books on health anxiety that I can recommend if you would like to give some self-help a try. Post back and let me know.:)

Jimmeh,

Some people just feel palpitations. One of my doctor's told me once that just about everyone experiences them at some point...most people just don't feel/take notice of them. For those of us who do, it then becomes a trigger for the anxiety when we get them.

Breathing and relaxation techniques can really help, and I invite you both to look into our Resources (main page, 1st post) to fine links that teach these. If practiced daily, they can bring down overall levels of stress. There are other good things to check out in that post as well.:)

Keep posting with us! We look forward to getting to know you both better. Start a new thread of your own if you like...this way more members can welcome you. Sometimes you get lost tagging onto a long thread like this.

Talk to you soon,

Scaredy Cat
Posted 12/5/2012 1:30 PM (GMT 0)
Sc,
I have had counseling and i still do but i dont think thats at the top of the counselors list. As mentioned i have a lot of stress going on, my wife and i are having major issues, my step son is adhd, aspergers, bipolar and a teenager to boot. I have ocd and i think my meds need adjustment. I'm on luvox, welbutrin, and trileptal. I have done cbt but only for the major issues ocd symptoms but it does feel like the ocd fuels the hypochondria especially when my stress levels are higher than normal. Which feels like all the time now. I would love to hear about some of those books I'll try and do anything if i can gain some relief thanks
Posted 12/5/2012 10:06 PM (GMT 0)
Here are the self-help books on health anxiety

http://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Health-Anxiety-David-Veale/dp/1845298241

http://www.amazon.com/Treating-Health-Anxiety-Cognitive-Behavioral-Approach/dp/1572309989

I hope that you find this a valuable resource...and keep posting!

S.C.

Posted 12/6/2012 5:48 PM (GMT 0)
I have a question for you all on here. Do any of you get so stressed out from worrying about your symptoms all the time that you feel nauseous/dizzy/anxious throughout the day? Like today im at work and all of a sudden my face started to feel warm then i got dizzy/lightheaded/nauseous. I dont even remember thinking about the illness then i got freaked out and thought what it's the illness im afraid of causing me to feel this way?
Posted 12/6/2012 6:49 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, this is the symptom - thought - more symptoms cycle. (to put it in layman's terms;p)

Our bodies are organic, and as such, prone to the occasional glitch...we may have a temporary thermostat issue, such as your face getting hot for no reason...or a random ache or twinge here or there.

The average person may not even note this...or may let it go with a passing thought like 'That was strange...'

For those of us with health anxiety however...it is cause for red alert. We feel the symptom, which is followed by a fearful thought...which sparks more symptoms, and on and on.

The key is to catch the fearful thought and counter it. If you have a thought such as 'Oh my gosh, I must be getting sick.' Counter is with 'No, I am fine, this will pass.'...or something to that effect.

Another favorite mantra that I like to use if I am having anxiety symptoms like dizzyness/nausea, ect. is to say:

'I am okay, it is only fear making me feel these symptoms.'

That helps to shut the cycle down!  Even if you don't fully believe the words that you are telling yourself at first and it seems like the anxiety is winning...keep it up.  The words that we speak to ourselves have power, and it will start to work.

I hope that you find this helpful..if so, you may want to look into more CBT techniques, as they are very effective in dealing with these issues.

S.C.
Posted 12/7/2012 5:07 PM (GMT 0)
Man i am freaking out! I have some lower back pain/abdominal pain and I'm freaking out it's testicular cancer that has spread. Does anyone else feel like there are more than 2 people in your body? I have the worried me that is constantly freaking out 24/7 about every ache/pain/body sensation. Then there is the other me thinking all my symptoms are because of my mind. I dont know what to do.
Posted 12/7/2012 8:56 PM (GMT 0)
I have 1 more question for the group. Have you ever obsessed so much about a about a particular disease that before you even go to the go to the doctor you know that he's going to tell you you have whatever you're scared of? If so and you've overcome it how did you do it?
Posted 12/9/2012 10:22 PM (GMT 0)
I can relate to all of you. Up until 3 weeks ago I never thought twice about health anxiety, and I can attribute that to my mom working in a hospital and getting my tests, and results instantly for anything funny, I since have my own insurance, but these last few weeks have been hell and its so difficult. It all started with what I thought was a swollen lymph node in my groin. It was hard, immobile and about 1.5 inches in diameter. I really didn't think anything about it made an appointment with my doctor. Of course I'm curious and go on google and scare the living crap out of myself and start getting horrible anxiety. I go to the doctor and by this time it shrank to about the size of an almond. He said, it feels like a cyst that might be infected, gives me labs to do and a chest xray. I'm 26 years old and smoked for 10 years. I start getting all messed up in the head. Tuesday night Nov 20 I get really drunk and wake up in the middle of the night covered in sweat, bed sheets all soaked, I thought I had soiled myself. Of course I go back online and swollen lymph node night sweat I was certain I had lymphoma. So I start going nuts, I do my blood work and chest xray the wednesday before thanks giving and that 5 days of waiting till monday was complete torture. I thought I had lung cancer, Hodgkins disease, every Non Hodgkins known to man. I'm a complete wreck. Monday after thanks giving comes around my Blood work is completely normal even the CBC differential chest xray was clear, Two of my liver enzymes are elevated. ALT and AST. Since Im a pretty avid drunk I contributed it to that, but I was still super nauseated, couldn't eat, loss of appetite, fatigue, etc. My doctor is very patient with me and orders a CT scan with contrast. Of course just the waiting for insurance to clear makes me go even more nutts. It is taking forever and my anxiety is getting even worse. So for 2 weeks I was on an anxiety bender that was killing me, I was super ill couldnt eat etc. I end up having a full blown anxiety attack at work and had to be taken to the ER. They give me a CT scan there and blood work and everything comes out normal, no swollen lymph nodes etc. I just had the cyst excised on friday and the doctor said it definitely wasnt a lymph node. I am finally starting to feel better, however I still don't feel completely right in the head.

I turned on some sort of switch that Ill probably have to live with forever now. This is a horrible feeling, does anyone have any tricks to get out of my head. this whole process has made me super depressed. I HATE THIS!!!!

Post Edited (AlexG86) : 12/9/2012 3:31:41 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 12/9/2012 10:35 PM (GMT 0)
I'm not sure if I'm using this properly, this is the first time I have been on this site.

I look at all the posts and, yes I have exactly the same problem. It worries me the ages of all you people who suffer from this awful debilitating illness, mine started in my late 30s when I lost a friend to cancer, since then it has taken over my life, my every waking thought and has made me ill. My anxiety has led to chronic gastritis which can lead to stomach cancer, its a terrible thought when already you are terrified of cancer occurring. I have terrible digestive problems because of this, was totally fine 5 years ago. I do believe that I can get to a comfortable place as I can learn to acceptance, EVENTUALLY. It does worry me that some of you are so young, I thought it was only when you reached your 40's that you become so aware of your mortality. I now see a hypnotherapist who sadly can't hypnotist me but we are working on it, talking to him helps me so much, fortunately he is highly qualified and deals with anxiety disorders, I wish I could see him more but its a long drive and costly. It is all about talking it out, you CAN and WILL get past this and get better, I'm on the road to recovering from this and trust me I have had everything from cancer of the toe nail to hair follicle. I have a question to all you sufferers, when you have had scans, tests, whatever can you accept the diagnosis or do you still think you are dying? I have accepted mine, but still have a bowel problem that needs a look at then I can put my feet up and rest and enjoy my life, nothing else can hurt me after this aside from old age or a plane crash, being run over by a truck.. you know the drill.. IT WILL GET BETTER.
Posted 12/9/2012 10:50 PM (GMT 0)
Mutley,

I appreciate your story. I accepted everything once my CT scan came back fine along with my chest xray and blood work. You can't really fight the CT scan. I don't think I'm dying anymore but I am really self conscious of every little thing my body does now. The 2+ week of anxiety took its toll on my body. My stomach hasn't recovered completely and is still jacked up. I don't even feel hungry ever anymore but I do like eating. I am going to see a therapist I need to get out of this funk. Im 26 male and I never knew I could feel like this. I used to make fun of people like this and now I'm one of them.

UGH!!!
Posted 12/9/2012 11:29 PM (GMT 0)
I know Alex its a terrible place to be. What was the trigger for your anxiety? Do you have someone aside from a therapist to talk to? I totally understand how you must feel, it does leave you feeling sick and helpless. Go see your therapist, don't hold anything back, whatever your feeling, tell them everything, they will want to help you and trust me if he or she is as good as mine, you'll be in safe hands.
Posted 12/10/2012 2:44 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Alex and mutley and welcome!

I am glad that you have found us here...as you can see you are not alone in this health anxiety worry!

There are several ways to treat this issue from medication to therapy and even self help.

We have some great self-help ideas in our Resource Guide right here. (main page 1st post) You will find everything from on-line therapy to breathing and relaxation links that teach you to lower your over all stress levels...check them out.:)

I have also posted two excellent books specifically on overcoming health anxiety in this thread, about 9-10 posts back. Scroll backward and take a look if you are interested.

Keep posting here with us as well. It is great talking with others who understand and care!

Talk to you soon,

Scaredy Cat
Posted 12/10/2012 6:04 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you for the welcome SC,

Im glad I found this page I can definitely vent on here

Well I just moved across the country and away from my family for the first time. When all this health scare stuff started happening I didn't have my parents etc to talk to or be around, thus making it worse. My anxiety triggers are definitely the What if? thoughts that go through my head daily. I can feel myself start to get worried and anxious. other than that I'm okay i just have to keep telling myself that I'm fine and everything is okay.

Post Edited (AlexG86) : 12/10/2012 11:58:47 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 12/29/2012 11:50 AM (GMT 0)
I know how you guys feels , I think I have had it since I was little . Whenever I hear of a illness bam I have it and it sucks so much because people don't understand u and they think ur just wacko !! Do any of you guys get like back pains and pain in legs etc .?
Posted 12/30/2012 2:03 AM (GMT 0)
wow i just found out am also hypochondriac i fear of dying i keep thinking what if i die .I feel i cant breath i get really scare that i begin to cry i am so tired since my junior year i have been suffering from anxiety panic disorder there has been diffrent stages of it.I have also experienced diffrent symptoms of this disorder.I feel like i am truly sick but the doctors say i am fine.hope you get well
Posted 12/31/2012 12:31 AM (GMT 0)
Yes same thing !! I feel in dying and truly sick but everyone says I'm not ?? I actually had to drop out of school
Due to anxiety and it became all to much to deal with ! I can relate so much to you ^ . I wake up in mornings and check my health and review my life sort of thing and gets to point I just want to lay in bed all day an asleep because sleeping is so much easier then life :( I go through it an then I may be fine fr couple of days and then I get it again bad ! Hope u get better to ;)
Posted 12/31/2012 1:43 AM (GMT 0)
A big shout out to all the new members who are stuck in anticipatory anxiety which has always been a challenge for me! I have spent many hours worrying about the what ifs instead of staying in the moment. Welcome to HealingWell!

Working hard at staying in the moment is difficult until you master how to push the anxious thoughts out of your mind and concentrate on living in the present.

After all the years I would get stuck on the merry-go-round of worrying that my minor aches and pains may be life threatening I was blindsided with a dx of Colon Cancer in August of this year. My first thought when I was given the news was "I am going to die". I cried and prayed until I was exhausted and than I got angry and took my armor out of the front hall closet as I was ready to fight this cancer and beat it back so I can go on living a good life.

Do I get anxious - Yes. Do I feel depressed and like I cannot tolerate all the chemo treatments - Yes!

Can I just give up and sit here saying why me - No, absolutely not.
I am using ever tool in my arsenal to handle the anxiety and depression. My HW friend are a huge support along with all my family, friends and people I have met since this journey started

I have realized I spent way to much time worrying about the what if's and made myself unhappy all the years leading up to now and all that worrying was for nothing as life just happens!

I encourage each of you to find a way to kick your anxiety to the curb and seek help;if you feel you need to see a professional don't hesitate.

Each of you know I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted 1/4/2013 8:35 AM (GMT 0)
Hello. This is different for me, I just randomly stumbled upon this site while googling. I feel like I am a hypochondriac and have anxiety. I figure it would be nice to talk to people experiencing the same issues. I feel like if I talked to anyone else in my life they would think I'm a bit crazy, unfortunately. I started having terrible nightly panic attacks out of nowhere when I was about 8 years old. They slowly subsided after a few years and now I rarely have them (I'm 20 now). Since then I have been a bit of a hypochondriac and it has gotten a lot worse in the past year. I feel like it is beginning to consume my life and I just want it to go away. I really want to learn some coping methods and avoid having to take medication to control it.
Posted 1/4/2013 7:17 PM (GMT 0)
BTW,

I locked this thread as it is getting really long...and those responding to it are getting lost in the shuffle.

I move your post to it's own thread....I will respond there!:)

To all new members reading this thread, if you share this particular issue and relate to it, know that you are not alone...and please consider starting your own thread of introduction.

This is done by hitting the Post New Topic button on the upper left.:)

Talk to you soon,

Scaredy Cat
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