100% Disabled By Physical Symptoms

I was there. I has lost a tun of weight, couldn't eat, sleep, of function in any meaningful way. It was an extremely hard journey, but it does get better. Therapy will be the key, but it takes the longest to be of any help. Being extremely anxious makes us hyper vigilant, and therefore the slightest side effect feel enormous. I would really recommend trying to find some SSRI that you can tolerate the side effects to while it is kicking in (they eventually go away). But, I am not a doctor and I understand if that might not be an option for you.

I was really worried about taking benzos, my brother ended up in rehab over them, and my doctor prescribed me hydroxyzine. It is non addictive and has really helped me a lot. It acts somewhat like a benzo, helps sedate, and makes it easier for me to fall asleep.

Reading your post made my heart ache. It does get better, it is just painful and the waiting is terrible. I was hospitalized because of lack of nutrition and sleep when I had my first "episode" of anxiety. It seems like a dark pit no one can understand or help you escape from, but you will survive.

Hi Kitt

Thank you for the kind words. I worked with people coming off psyche drugs for 12 years and Buspar was not a difficult one. It did not work for me but if you are getting relief it is probably one of the least problematic.

I do wonder if this is more than anxiety but I have had all the medical tests and no other issue has shown up. Do you think that not being sure it is all anxiety keeps the nervous system stressed.

How about wondering how this could have happened – I did not have a lot of stress before this 6 year breakdown – a medical scare put me over the edge and I have never come down

Thanks again for being there

James,

I think you have a valid point - you’re getting stuck in the circle of what if thinking and trying to come up with the answer to what is causing you to feel this way.

There are many things we experience that create shifts of perceived reality. I say perceived because our mind can't deal with all the input it gets from our senses. It tries to identify important stuff first, like, 'can I make it across the street before the light turns red?' and 'does that guy turning the corner see me?’ While we are focused on these things we see but don't register other items that are around us at the same time (was that guy walking a monkey or an ugly dog?).

 

Drugs have the ability to shift perceived reality and change our emotional state for better or worse. I think you experienced a large shift and are still trying to process the experience. Having your 'normal' world turned upside down and thinking about it is a normal process.

It's not just drugs that will do this. Life experiences can have the same effect. Losing a loved one, moving to a new city is just a couple of things that will change our focus and leave us feeling alienated. The good thing is we can bounce back better than ever. Ponder the experience and take knowledge and strength from it. Leave the bad feelings behind.

Change is a process, James, not an event and we all have the power to change how we react too the events in our life.  

Relapse is common, perhaps even inevitable. Experts urge people not to be derailed by it but to think of it as an integral part of the change process. You learn something about yourself each time you relapse. For example, you may find that the strategy you adopted didn’t fit into your life or suit your priorities. Next time, you can use what you learned, adjust, and be a little ahead of the game as you continue on the pathway to change.

I have been living with anxiety/depression for 30 years and I have had some huge struggles along the way.  I am currently battling colon cancer and my anxiety and depression keep trying to take over - in fact some days I spend in high anxiety and tears but than I remember I do not have time to deal with anxiety and what if thinking,  as I need to put 100% into my fight against my cancer.  I plan to win this battle.

Gentle Hugs to you,

Kitt

 

 

Hi James,

I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time and your symptoms are so severe. It looks like others have given some great words of encouragement and some good advice. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone! I went through a very similar experience and it seemed to just pop up out of the blue. Yesterday on new years eve I was thinking about how grateful I am that I made it through that time, I seriously lost almost 6 months this past year in a haze of most of the symptoms you describe. I, like you have a pretty hard time with any medications, benzo's made me feel more depressed and out of it, and I went through 3 scripts for anti-depressants with major side effects and had to stop taking them.

In hindsight, I wish I could have taken medication, it definitely would have made the process easier but we all gotta do what we gotta do. For me therapy and exercise seem to be key steps in recovery (walking is great), combined with eating lots of fruits & veggies plus venting and crying alot. Unfortunately, its a slow and painful process but You can do this!! I'm rooting for you and you healing.

Anxiety drugs eventually stop working and then make the condition worse. I could not work if I had to.