Hi everyone!
Does this sound like GAD (or perhaps even OCD or Panic Disorder)?. I've been diagnosed with all three and as silly as it sounds, I'm not sure which one(s) is/are causing my issues. I'll give you an example...
An appointment is made for me to see a Psychiatrist. At first, I'm not too concerned about
it but as the appointment date gets closer (ie; a week away), I begin to have dark thoughts creep into my mind which I seem unable to control. "What if he diagnoses me as some kind of psychopath?". "How will I explain it to my family and friends?". "What if he prescribes heavy-duty psych meds and I end up having a fatal side affect?". "What if he decides to commit me?". "What if he commits me and I just get lost in the system?".
As the appointment date gets even closer, I start looking things up online, reading stories about
people being committed, laws about
when they can be committed, post like crazy in various support groups, desperately look for answers or reassurance, make lots of notes and plan everything I'm going say to cover every possible scenario, try to predict what he might say and how I'll respond, etc. The fear, worry and cycling of scary thoughts gets much worse. I can feel the burning in the pit of my stomach. The adrenalin, cortisol and other stress hormones shoot through me. My fears weave their way into my dreams. Within just a few days of the appointment, I'm nearing a meltdown. Full panic mode sets in, I'm sleeping in very late - not wanting to face my appointment. Thoughts of simply calling up and cancelling or even running out the front door and hiding creep into my mind because the idea of going seems so unbearable to me. My mind is exhausted from over-thinking. Burned out.
On the day of the appointment I actually go and come home thrilled (and amazed) at how good it turned it. I really like the Psychiatrist and feel a huge sense of relief and feel quite shocked at how much time I spent worrying. It feels like a ton of bricks has been lifted off of my shoulders. Bliss.
While this is just an example, it typifies the process I go through any time there is some event coming up that is likely to be new, different, major, mandatory or in some way perceived as a possible threat. A trip out to check the mail might be only very mildly nerve-wracking while waiting for the results of a biopsy might send me into a frenzy.
While I fit the profile of GAD/OCD to a tee, sometimes I start to question if it's something more than that because the fear, worry, what if's and imagining the worst can get pretty intense at times. I realize that some worry is healthy and natural but my worry tends to be catastrophic and blown way out of proportion. Even small things that didn't used to stress me out can be a problem any more. I don't know if this is GAD manifesting itself because it is usually situational and doesn't always come "out of the blue" (Although I do have that happen) and I am not "panicking over the next panic attack". Like I said, it's mostly situational.
Does this sound even remotely familiar to what others have experienced?. Could you share an example please?. Thanks so much!.
Post Edited (Sethp) : 1/21/2013 5:59:43 PM (GMT-7)