did something bad, anxiety really bad

You are not such a bad person, since you realize that what you did was wrong and you regret it. I doubt you will do such a thing again. So don't beat yourself up about this. Just learn from the experience, don't repeat the same mistake, and move on with life. We all make mistakes, and many of us have done worse things than this.

If you are feeling bad about yourself, maybe do some good deeds to "make up for it." I bet someone in your community who is hungry or poor or disabled could use your help. And you might feel better about yourself if you see that, although you made a mistake, you also do good things.

joavila,

There is a huge difference between doing something wrong and being a terrible person.

You are not a terrible person...just one who had a momentary lapse in judgement.

Instead of dwelling on the guilt, focus on learning two life lessons...the first one is the obvious one, and you are going to pay your fine and be done with that.

The second is harder...forgiving yourself. Think of it this way...what would you say to a friend in the same circumstance? You would tell him/her to let it go...it was just a mistake, ect.  You would encourage him to stop punishing himself!

I really like medved's idea of some giving back to the community through some service. This will serve two purposes...it will make you feel good about doing something for others, while taking the focus off of yourself for awhile.

As far as telling your parents...that is up to you. You are an adult, and you ultimately need to weigh the pros and cons of confessing to them and go from there. If it would cause more grief than good, then maybe you should handle it yourself. On the other hand, getting things out does help allieviate guilty feelings.

Everything is going to work out fine in the end. We have all done similar things and made mistakes...know that we are not standing in judgement at all...just in support!

Hugs,

S.C.

I agree. You are not a bad person. You did something wrong and need to come to terms with it. What do you think would help in the quest to forgive yourself? It sounds as though the threat of being charged is causing you anxiety. Are you certain speaking to your parents isn't the answer? It may not be but it could be a way of letting go of some if the anxiety. You are probably anxious not only over what you did but your parents finding out from someone other than you. You need to find a way to reconcile this. You learned a lesson. A tough one. Only you can decide if unloading some of your pain to your family can help.

Sometimes not geting away with stealing something is a blessing, this is what I mean, you are to be fined by the store I asume for this act, even if the police got involved you will live this down, your own self conviction is evident to me that you are really a good person you just made a mistake. Look at the Holywood/Beautiful people who have been arested for shoplifting, you never see them admit to being wrong. You have a little corecting to do with the store and you will live this down no mater who finds out.
Now what I ment by first time getting caught being a blessing, sometimes the human in us takes advantage of our own weakness and escaping consequences will make us bold and want to try again,
the second or third time the value may have reached the felony level and then you do have a proplem.
You have punished yourself enough it might make a difference if you wrote a letter of apoligy to the store but in this day and age it may just be best to let it go and deal with what happens. You will be ok, dont make others share your gilt, if it never comes out let them have peace. Also "may you have peace".
Larry

I'm pretty sure if they planned to press criminal charges, they would've called the police as soon as you were caught. Chalk this up to a learning lesson, take a deep breath, and move on. You're not a bad person. You just made a bad choice.

I'm so sorry--you're not a terrible person at all, you just made a mistake. No one is perfect. :)

It sounds like you're having a ton of anxiety about how you parents will react and that this is making things worse for you. It might be better to try to get it over with and tell them--you might feel better. That said, I have no idea what your relationship with your parents and how they would react. Like SC said, it might be good to weigh the pros and cons of the decision and decide what is best for you.

If you know they'd react really badly to this, it might be better not to tell them. However, I think it's important to try to figure out how much of this is how you'd fear they'd react and how much is experience from knowing how they'd react. It might be that you are so scared of telling them that you're overexaggerating in your mind what their response would be (which is totally natural to do when you're so anxious!) But again, I don't know them so I can't really say.

I hope this all works out for you and that you feel better and less anxious soon.

Av

Of course, only you can decide whether to tell your parents about these events. But if your mother is a religious Christian, then she should forgive your misconduct. In the Christian Bible, (Hebrews 10:17) God said "Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more." A Christian person would typically want to emulate God's forgiveness. And in Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus said "if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." So a Christian person would want to forgive your wrongful conduct, in order that the Lord might forgive that person's own transgressions.

I am not writing this in order to try to pursuade you, or anyone on this board, to adopt Christian beliefs, or to proselytize. (Indeed, I myself do not practice a Christian faith). However, I mention this because you say you do not want to tell your mother about your misdeed because she is a devout Christian. And so I want to point out to you (and, maybe you can point out to her) that forgiveness of wrongful conduct is a central tenet of the Christian faiths, inlcuding the Jehovah's Witness faith. A truly Christian person will not judge you, but instead will love and forgive you.

You also need to love and forgive yourself. Focus on the good that you can do, and not on your mistakes. Learn from your mistakes, but do not let them control you.

Best wishes, Medved

You are blowing this out of proportion. (Guilt is a powerful force).    Whatever happens -- even in the worst case scenario -- it will NOT prevent you from getting an education, getting a job, etc.   You will be fine.   You just need to calm down.  I realize that is easier said that done, but the stress you are putting yourself under will do you more harm than any punishment you might receive for this minor offense. 

 

Post Edited (medved) : 2/14/2013 4:52:01 PM (GMT-7)

I am not an expert on the law...but I am fairly sure that in order to prosecute or charge you with anything further...that the police would have to have been called, and a report would have been already made.

In other words, if they said that a fine was all that was going to happen, then you can believe that.

As far as your other dilemma...to tell or not tell your parents...that is up to you utimatley. I still do suggest however, going over the possible outcomes of this...positive and negative, and making a decision from there.

But first and foremost...forgive yourself and work on shedding the guilt!

Hugs,

S.C.

this morning is bad!! -idk what to do. my chest had this bad feeling of guilt. I want tutu cry but can't let it out.

I'm really scared. I've never been in this kind of situation before and don't know how to handle it

Sc, I wish I could. mmHg thoughts are are focused on that.
I don't know what to do. I can't eat. I look . outside and check if the police it's coming to arrest me. B-) it's awful

thanks sc.

I didn't lol
lesson is well learned
thanks for your replies
I have no one to talk to about this, since no one knows. I want to keep it private , hopefully everything turns out good.