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Does Anxiety have to be a lifelong curse?

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 2/18/2013 1:47 PM (GMT 0)
This is my first time reaching out to virtual strangers and not sure if this will be right for me but I am willing to give it a try. I am interested in sharing information with others that have the same horrific affliction of Anxiety. I have suffered from a chronic anxiety disorder for approx. 20 years. Been on an off medications to try to control it. I also try to stick with meditation, working out and as with anxiety often it is associated with depression so it is a constant battle. I have many good things in my life and am very thankful for what I have. I do feel the anxiety is something that throws a large black cloud over all the positives and makes it difficult to appreciate fully my blessings. It is something that I hide as I dont want to concern others with my burdens. I have a husband that is understanding and knows me well and of course there is no hiding from someone that lives with you. I recently went off of Celexa as I know I was not feeling as good as I should- I would love a life that is medication free and "normal". After going off the Celexa (I did taper off) I am over run by anxiety, negative feelings, agitation and just feeling awful. Just want to reach out to some of you who have gone off Celexa or other medications and see if there are any alternatives to dealing with Anxiety that is working for them. Does Anxiety have to be a lifelong curse? Thank you for your time and looking forward to hearing from others experiences.
Posted 2/18/2013 5:30 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Peace.  Welcome to HW.  I hope you find the "reaching out to strangers" helpful.  I know it is not for everyone, but many here find a lot of value in being able to communicate with people who know where they are coming from, and have had similar experiences/challenges.

In my own situation, I probably always had some anxiety, and perhaps some depression, but it was all more or less manageable -- until about a year ago when some things happened that caused me an intense, all-consuming anxiety.  I was barely able to function.  For the first time in  my life, I sought help, and went on an SSRI and a beta blocker (an off-label use, at my doctor's suggestion, to control anxiety).  I also took a very small amount of xanax, though I did not do so often.   After about 10 months of therapy and medication, I felt like I was doing much better and decided to taper off the medications.  I did the SSRI taper fine.  I think I tapered off  the beta blocker too quickly, and had some days of anxiousness.  (And I think during those days I was a bit impolite to some other people, and impatient -- which I hate).  But now I feel like I am doing fine.  I REALLY did not want anxiety to be a chronic condition; I wanted to deal with the issues that I was facing and do the best I could to move on.  My doctor encouraged that way of thinking.  I realize not everyone can do that -- each person has her/his own situation.  But that was my mindset.  And I feel like it worked for me. 

You will find, here at HW, many different experiences and perspectives, with the one constant being a high level of supportiveness and encouragement.  Best wishes, Medved

 

Posted 2/18/2013 5:32 PM (GMT 0)
Hi peace and welcome!

I am glad that you have joined us, and taken this important step in reaching out to others with similar struggles. I hope that you will find as much caring and support as I do here!

I am sorry to hear of your longtime anxiety trouble, and your recent medication dilemma. It can be frustrating to find the right medication.

May I ask if you have ever had therapy or considered this form of treatment?

Many of us here (myself included) have found it to be a powerful method for long term anxiety management.

Post back and let me know of your experience/thoughts on this, and I can further advise.;)

Talk to you soon,

S.C.
Posted 2/19/2013 2:22 AM (GMT 0)
Hi, just read your post, and just know you aren't alone. I'm exactly like you, with a severe case of OCD thrown in, too. My daily life is horrific because of my issues.

I don't have time to go into more detail right now, plus in 2 days it will be the 1st anniversary of my Dad's death, so I'm kind of barely functioning these last few days, but felt I just wanted to tell you that I share your 'pain'. Hang in there.
Posted 2/19/2013 1:34 PM (GMT 0)
Good Morning LHA112/Scaredy Cat/Medved,

Thank you so much for responding to my post. I actually had a feeling of relief that someone read my post, heard me and took the time to reach out. So Thank you !

I have off an on tried talk therapy and never felt like I got much benefit. However, I did some research yesterday and did find someone else and will give it another try. I guess its finding the right therapist is probably the key.

I do believe the melt down I felt, and believe me thats what it was- is a warning sign that I need to take my emotional well being serious- there is no more putting it on the back burner and muddling through. I do believe that stress is killer, a slow torturous killer. Anxiety/Depression is not something I would wish on my worst enemy, and I am committed to heal myself..... just need to make me a priority.

Yesterday, I called into work sick (never do that) and thought long and hard what would be something that I would enjoy something just for me. So made myself an appt. for a massage and tried my best to let myself go in the moment - though it took me probably 1/2 the time to clear my mind from thinking of all the things I should be doing!!

Are you all open with family and friends about your affliction? Or like me and hide it from all? I feel a sense of shame for some reason. Like, why cant I control this-


LHA112- I too lost a parent. My mother passed 7/10/11- She wanted to pass at home and I was her caregiver with the assistance of hospice. Things I had to do to care for my mom were not things any child should have to do for their parent. I did what I needed to do but the final 2 weeks of her passing were traumatic to say the least. To this day I cant look at any pics of my mom and cant think of that time- I do all I cant to block it out-- thus resulting in making my anxiety worse. Very sorry to hear of the loss of you dad- losing a parent is life altering and changes the dynamics of who you are (at least if you were close to them)

Medved- what are you currently doing to help with Anxiety/Depression if you are no longer on medication? Or was the time you were on enough for you to get relief ? For me medication seems to be a band aid and everytime I do go off I struggle through every day and know I am not the person I should be.

I appreciate you all for reaching out and sharing your situations.
Posted 2/19/2013 3:38 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Peace. (What a great name!). First, regarding whether I was "open" with others, the answer is no - other than with my wife. For long time, wife has been saying "you are depressed; you should get some help." But I was sort of in denial, and am not really "the type" to seek help. I find talking about my feelings awkward and uncomfortable. And day to day, I got by fine. I am a successful professional. I seem pretty decisive, strong and confident, and am probabaly the last person anyone would think suffers from any anxiety or depression. But as those here will understand, it does not spare any particular category of person.. After years of "basically doing fine," I sort of had a crisis last year, as I mentioned. I still did not share this with anyone, though hard to imagine that people did not notice. And my wife knew everything. She helped me get through it, including "forcing" me to get out of bed when I did not feel like it and making sure I did not feel too sorry for myself, but instead did something about it. What am I doing now? Well, I continued therapy for a short time after tapering off medication. But then I ended that too. I am just trying to move on with life. I am feeling better -- certainly well past the crisis I had last year. When I feel some anxiety, I try to react by recognizing it for what it is, and understanding that it will pass. And when I feel some depression, I try to think realistically about how fortunate I am. I have a lot to be thankful for. I don't know where all this will head, long term, but right now I feel like I am doing pretty well. (By the way, I lost a parent a few years ago too -- it was hard as hell -- so I understand that all too well.... but I try to focus on the good stuff, rather than the loss ... there was a lot of good stuff). Best wished, Medved
Posted 2/19/2013 4:23 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Medved,

First my sympathies to you and the loss of a parent... for me one of the hardest things is to see my father 77, trying to get by after 57 years of marriage- Yes the worry for him sometimes consumes me.

You sound very much like myself. I consider myself strong and the perception others have of me is really together, upbeat, organized, caring, motivated, professional....to look at me I dont look like I am not well. Hard to face that .....when you feel like we do inwardly we are not well. Appearances can be deceiving. It does sound like you were in a very bad place and with the support from your wife you were able to see a light at the end of the tunnel. My issue is trying to live in the moment. I know worrying about the past and future are a major anxiety creator (for me)- I need to learn techniques to shut that off, liive in the now. Cant change past/future. I do take on alot of other peoples worries and burdens and spin my wheels on many things I have not control of.... I dont know how to shut that off.... letting go of those things that burn my energy and wear me down. Thank you for sharing. It is good to see my struggles are just not mine and there are so many others that are hanging on and looking for ways to enjoy the life we have.
Best to you- Peace
Posted 2/19/2013 5:02 PM (GMT 0)
Peace,

Have you ever touched on CBT techniques during your therapy sessions?

The things that you want to work on, mentioned in your post, are key elements of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy!

Those of us with anxiety tend to be thinkers...highly intelligent, inquisitive...and prone to asking the 'what if' questions. We are also blessed/cursed with strong imaginations. (which can lead us to worst-case senario thinking)

CBT as well as mindfullness help the user to gain the tools for managing these issues with exercises and practices that have practicle application.

Rather than just talking during sessions, (which is a part of it, and valuable) one actually works through worrisome thoughts and triggers for the anxiety, using worksheets, exercises, homework, ect...

Look into it if possible. We also have a free on-line version in our Resources here if you want to get an idea about how it works.

Keep posting!

S.C.
Posted 2/19/2013 6:09 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Scaredy Cat

No I have not tried CBT and dont know much about it- but will education myself. Thank you for sharing the info. Do you have any ideas the best way to find someone who is knowledgeable in CBT in my area if I wish to pursue it?
Posted 2/19/2013 7:06 PM (GMT 0)
If you are under a provider, then it may have a website that will give you a list of therapists within so many miles of where you live/work.

Another good way to find a mental health specialist is to ask your doctor for a referral. Professionals often network and can give you good recommendations.

Or if you are doing this on your own, then you could just look up local therapists on-line or in the phone book

After that it is just a matter of calling and asking if they can take you through/offer CBT or mindfullness training.

The first part is pretty easy...the trouble that I ran into was finding someone who was accepting new patients. You may, depending on your area and availability of professionals, need to put yourself on a waiting list.

Even so, it is worth the wait...and you could get started, like I said with the on-line option (Moodgym) or with a CBT workbook, until you can get in.

I will post a link with some good self-help books, in case you want to get started on your own.;)

http://www.amazon.com/Mind-Over-Mood-Change-Changing/dp/0898621283/ref=pd_sim_b_5

S.C.

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