Mommy Problems

Hi SuperTrophyWife!

I know what you mean about going from normal to this. When I think about all the things I did, without hesitation or fear, just last year, I get depressed. Now, if I do push myself and drive two miles, it's this big event and I am so relieved when I get home. I feel ridiculous.

I always suspect this has something to do with hormones but no hormonal abnormalities have shown up in my tests.

For one thing, all this started happening to me around the same time my period got lighter and a little more irregular, and I gained weight for the first time in my life. I usually feel dizzy and get heart palps right before my period now too. There is a thread about panic/menstral cycle: https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=897349

Although hormonal doesn't mean it has to happen only during your period.It seems like there is something about motherhood that can set off anxiety.

My mother said after she had babies she started getting anxiety attacks, that improved as we kids got older. (Mine is the opposite... its happening now when my daughter is 12). She also said after menapause she started getting clausraphobia, has a hard time sitting in theaters, things like that, and has to take valium to get in an MRI machine, etc. I never really realized she had anxiety until she told me though, because she still goes out and does things. I think there is some hormonal connection, especially for women, that just hasn't been researched or figured out yet.

motherhood is demanding. how many/how old are your kids? it helped me once when my mom told me how many times while raising me and my brother she thought to herself,"well, this isn't fun... this isn't what I had in mind!" but of course at the same time, you love your children.

I know you are needed, but I think a get away every now and then is a good idea. we're only human. is there anyone, a friend, a sibling, a grandparent, anyone, that could "take you away" for the day or a few days? even if your husband is not too keen on the idea, maybe if it was to "help aunt sally out for a few days" or a friend going through a breakup and you're going to take her for a "spa day"... could get you a little quiet and relaxation. or, if the thought of going out makes you anxious, maybe your kids could spend a weekend w/grandparents while you and your husband get some quiet time together... even if it just means hanging out at home, to sleep in and watch non-animated movies!

Anxiety is much more prevalent in women than in men, and I am sure that it has to do hormones.

...and motherhood is not for the faint of heart, that is for sure.

I think as women we need to take time to take better care of ourselves...so that we can take care of those who need us.

I am sorry that your husband was not more supporting of your getting away for a bit.:(

Perhaps you can just find time for mini-breaks...doing something that you enjoy here and there, just for a short period of time.

Also remember to regularly practice your decompression/coping skills everyday.;)

Peace and hugs to all of you.;)

S.C.

it can be really hard to get away when your kids are young. did your mom's eventually get better?

the gym sounds like a good idea. I used to belong to a gym that also had a kid's gym and daycare, so i could go anytime without having to arrange babysitting, they also had massage there - it was a lifesaver.

I understand about wanting some time off, the last 25 years I worked I never took off more than the weekend plus using a friday and monday for a mini vacation,
as for xanax I never had an addiction problem, it would shutdown a panic attack but ended my day
I got to where I would just endure until I was home and could crash then I would take one and read my Bible most of the time I would wake up in the morning with my reading light still on most of the time the next day was pretty ok, sometimes I was p----d at myself for letting the panic take over. We get tougher STW it will take time, it has taken me years to understand what was happening but looking back I truly beleive it nothing but a subcouncious fear of death. For many years I was a better Christian than I am now and I was not afraid of death during those years I never had a panic attack, I would just address anxity like a person and say something like "is that you again, just go away I'll see you when I die".
it worked but maybe not for everyong. (your always in my Prayers)
Larry ***

I absolutely think that my anxiety started when I became a mom, but I had several triggers in my life that made my anxiety worse. Now I have at least 2 panic attacks a months. When my daughter was 3 months old my beloved aunt died at a young age leaving behind a young daughter. That terrified me and I would sit around crying wondering what would happen to my daughter if the same thing happened to me. Eventually I got better with my anxiety then when my daughter was almost two I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and a high pulse and put on a medication. Getting put on a medication for a health problem sent me spiraling back down into the the anxiety barrel because for me if was like what happened to my aunt was starting to happen to me. When I started having panic attacks shortly after I was put on medicine my Dr. ran 3 ekg's, I had an echo, and wore a 48 hour monitor, I also had an abdominal ct scan. All came back clear. My heart was that of a healthy 28 yr old, my stomach as well. So now when I have a panic attack I have to tell myself these things over and over. I am still struggling and terrified everyday that my daughter will have to grow up without me. I have extremely negative thoughts and im afraid to plan for the future. I dont know if it was a combination of the bad things in my life occuring after my daughter was born or hormones, but either way its horrible.