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Anxiety back after being gone for many years/complicated by health issues

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Posted 3/13/2013 5:20 PM (GMT 0)
Frustrated... mostly just venting.

I'm new here but not really new to anxiety. To make a long story short, I've had health related anxiety going back to the time I was about 12. I could go through long periods where I would feel good and wouldn't worry, then something would trigger the anxiety and it would be back in full swing.

My situation is complicated by the fact that I have had actual, severe health problems (ulcerative colitis and 3 major surgeries--one of which was emergency surgery--and several hospitalizations for related complications such as dangerously low potassium, malnutrition, etc, etc). I've had some other, more minor health scares as well, mostly related to the colitis. I admit that the anxiety was present at times before I had major health problems, but of course the health issues have amplified it.

Anyway, in 2007 I was diagnosed with GAD. Tried Cipralex (Lexapro) but hated the side effects and couldn't stay on it. Had CBT but I didn't find it particularly helpful since I never connected with the therapist. She tried to get me to focus on things like time management strategies when really my problems were my health issues and constant worry about them. I never felt like she actually understood the source of my anxiety.

However, after my third surgery I started to feel better physically, and as that happened my anxiety dissipated. I had 5 and a half really good years of feeling well physically and emotionally. I thought I'd kicked the anxiety for good and was moving on with my life. Unfortunately, late last fall I started to have health related issues again, and ended up in the ER with severe bleeding. This new round of health issues is still being investigated. Although I thought I was dealing with it, almost overnight my anxiety returned. I now worry almost constantly about my health, what could be wrong. I worry that I must be going crazy and that I have severe psychological problems. I worry that I might be dying. I worry that I have a brain tumor. I have had some strange visual symptoms that I think might be anxiety related (light sensitivity mostly to fluorescent lights; sometimes things look "too clear" or hazy in certain lights) and that is freaking me out. I'm going to the eye doctor tomorrow to get things checked out, but I'm pretty confused and scared. I am anemic and have low potassium, so that may be contributing. I am still working and trying best I can to keep up with my normal activities, but I feel just like I am going through the motions and not really enjoying anything.

What bothers me most is that I really thought I was over all this anxiety. I know a lot of it is irrational but I still can't stop worrying, and the fact that I can't stop worrying is yet another source of worry for me. Also, because I do have "real" health problems, it's sometimes difficult to separate what is "just anxiety" and what is an actual physical problem. I hate running off to the doctor all the time for fear I'll be judged, but my situation is a bit complicated.

I am actually on a waiting list to see a psychiatrist who deals with counseling for health/illness related issues. Unfortunately the waiting list is long and I don't know when I might be able to get an appointment. Also, given my past negative experience with therapy, I'm not entirely optimistic that it will help me.

Anyway, I'm upset that my anxiety has just so suddenly returned. I feel like I could deal with my physical health problems better if I wasn't constantly worrying about them.

Hope somebody out there can relate.
Posted 3/13/2013 8:00 PM (GMT 0)
Hi and welcome!

Yes we can relate...we have all experienced set backs in our anxiety jouney...it is just part of managing this chronic disorder.

Many of us here also suffer from the same health related worries that you have expressed...either in conjunction with another physical issue like your UC, or even without one.

I am really glad that you are on the waiting list to see a P-doc for therapy! This sounds like something that will really benefit you. I had great results with therapy (and self-help) to treat my panic and health anxiety!

In the meantime while you wait, why not try some self-help to get you through this tough time? We have a great Resource Guide here (main page, 1st post) full of great ideas that you could start today.

I also have some book recommendations for treating health anxiety. I will post them at your request if you're interested.

Keep talking with us as well. It is really great to be part of a community of people who share common struggles and understand eachother.:)

Talk to you soon,

Scaredy Cat
Posted 3/13/2013 8:25 PM (GMT 0)
This is me! I also have low potassium, and they have been telling me for a year I'm slightly anemic, I've been taking potassium pills for a week now and am starting iron today. I also may have something going on with bowels, we're going to check in the future, but I had my gall bladder taken out when I was 17, I'm 34 now, with the gall bladder removal I have bouts of diarrhea or constipation, and my health problems could also be causing some of the anxiety as well, when I was younger they said I had stress and anxiety, then they thought it was ulcers, but it was in reality, gall stones, took them a few years to find it though.

The strange thing is, a lot of these things I'm finding, are common among women, maybe not in your immediate family, but so common you won't have to dig too deep on this forum to find at least 5-6 threads about different women with these same things, right up top.

Try not to worry too much, lots of us are going through the same things with you here, and keep up with the doc's they will help get you on the right path, and back to good health.

-Jessica
Posted 3/14/2013 12:45 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you both for the words of welcome and encouragement! I will definitely check out the resources. I'm trying to apply some of what I learned in my last CBT course (even though a lot of it didn't apply to my situation) but some of it, at least the relaxation techniques, were helpful. I am also reading a book (oldie but goodie) but Dr. Claire Weekes - Hope and Help for Your Nerves, and that does make me feel better. Scaredy Cat, yes, the health related anxiety resources also seem like they would be helpful for me. I would appreciate if you would post them, as I would like to check them out. I feel like I might be a little less of a straightforward case, since my situation is complicated by numerous other health problems.

Jessiepooh, I'm also 34 years old. I've basically been dealing with major UC problems for the better part of 8 years. My colon was removed in 2005 and I've had 2 more major surgeries since then. As I said, I was doing well for a few years in between, so I'm very discouraged by this more recent setback, but I'm also discouraged that the anxiety seems to have taken on a life of it's own again, and I'm worrying about issues I wasn't even thinking about before (like my eyes, etc). I think that's the scary thing for me about the anxiety - is the fact that the worries just seem to come out of nowhere, and while I know most of them are irrational, I can't shake the thoughts so easily.

But it's definitely good to know that I'm not alone, that I'm not entirely going crazy. :)

 

Post Edited (redleader) : 3/13/2013 6:51:19 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 3/14/2013 3:25 AM (GMT 0)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Health-Anxiety-David-Veale/dp/1845298241

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Introduction-Coping-Health-Anxiety/dp/1845292871

http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Your-Head-Sick/dp/1572309938/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_y

Check these out and see if you any of them look good to you.  For more suggestions...be sure and look at the bottom of each page for more book recommendations on this topic.

Keep posting.:)

S.C.

Posted 3/14/2013 3:59 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Red, welcome to HW.com.....You are not crazy or nuts. You may not feel the impact of having a family with things in common to share here. It will come as you are here a little while. The folks on here are just great. Just the act of taking the time to come and read what is happening on the boards. YOu just learn so much and you really feel a little bit of anxiety lift when you are here. You can actually have the chance to help someone else. My name is Cathy. Im 62 years young. I am expecting my FIRST GRANDBABY, A BOY, IN JULY.....YIPPPEEEE. I AM SO EXCITED. MY SON IS 37 and has a great life partner. She is a very sweet girl. I hope they may marry someday, but certainly dont need my imput there. .My grandson is already named, Hunter, after my father. He and my son Bryan were so close. My father died of cancer 20 years ago.

Sorry I had to add that about my little Hunter being on his way. My son is just so happy. I am going to post a new topic in a minute and will not do that on your post. Its not fair to you. The reason I am starting a new topic is because I had a major panic attack today.....so you can read it if you like.....

Again dear, we are so happy to have you. Heres a big healthy Hug from a Texas country Gal. Hope you have a great nites sleep with no pain....hugs....Cathy
Posted 3/15/2013 1:29 AM (GMT 0)
Hi redleader,

I can relate to how you feel. I am 22 years old and have anxiety since I was 14. I was ok for a few years and suddenly now, I have anxiety and panic attacks most of the time due to gastritis. I have quit my job last month and stayed at home resting and trying to recuperate. Had been eating very little and lost a lot of weight due to gastritis. Meds doesn't help and I have to wait a long time till I do endoscopy. I too spend my time worrying about what is happening to me, am I going to die, is it really gastritis? etc...

Been to ER for a few times in this 2 months...was diagnosed with dengue fever (a type of viral fever) 2 weeks ago. Now I'm free from dengue but the gastritis persists. I'm fed up that once the doctor knows you have anxiety, they just dismiss everything to anxiety. The last time I went to ER I nearly told off the doctor. I know the difference between anxiety and REAL physical discomfort! I told him straight that it's NOT anxiety. He did a blood test and found out I had low blood platelet which leads to Dengue Fever. Sometimes we just have to listen to what our body tells us and relate FIRMLY to the doctor.

I also have negative experience with my previous psychiatrist. Anti depressants set me off with terrible side effects so now I'm afraid of meds. My psychologist now tells me that one cannot be completely "cured" of anxiety, that it has a chance of recurring and getting worse. It's all about how to manage and cope.

It's hard but hang on. Time will bring us back to what we used to be. :)

Post Edited (Evelyn L) : 3/14/2013 7:36:30 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 3/15/2013 1:53 AM (GMT 0)
Evelyn,

I hope you can get your issues sorted out soon. I can definitely relate. It's hard when you're dealing with both physical health problems and anxiety. For me, anyway, it makes it more difficult to deal with, because it's sometimes hard for me to know for sure whether something is "just anxiety" or a physical symptom I need to get checked out. I'm also frustrated that the anxiety has returned after not being a problem for 5 years.

I wasn't happy with my previous experience in therapy either. But I'm hoping the new referral to the pdoc who deals with health issues will be more helpful to my situation. But I'm like you - I really fear trying antidepressants again and I will pretty much have to be on my last rope to consider them now. The side effects are worse, IMO, and while I know they help some people I don't think they're the answer for me.

Anyway, I hope we can all find peace of mind soon! I want my life back; as I said earlier, I feel I could deal better with the physical problems if I didn't have so much anxiety. Right now I'd say anxiety is interfering with my life far more than my physical problems.
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