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moved in with my inlaws-losing my mind

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Posted 3/31/2013 3:15 AM (GMT 0)
Financially the only way my family could survive until i get more school money was to move in with my in laws. Then we find out that the house that we were living in (which is my husband's uncles house) that our rent is going to go from 1200 to 700. So here i am living with my in laws. Going insane. Trying to talk to my husband about how i am feeling and he tells me that talking to me stresses him out. So now i have no one to talk to, scratching holes in my head. I am the only drive in my family so i literally spend my whole day driving my two kids and my husband all over god's green earth but husband thinks that this is a better situation. now i understand no money is no money. But what happens when i am stressing out and having severe anxiety attacks and have no one to talk to.
Posted 3/31/2013 4:49 AM (GMT 0)
Hi SK.

I am really sorry to hear about your tough situation.

I know that I would really struggle with this living arrangement as well!

Did I misunderstand? You rent is going down...but you are living with your in-laws?  Is it possible to get back into your uncle-in-laws house?

Hopefully this turns out to be a short-term solution for your family.

Until then, try to make time for yourself to decompress and use your coping skills that help you beat the anxiety best.

My heart goes out to you during this tough time. I know that it must be hard to lose your sense of independence and live under someone else's roof.

Keep posting with us and let us be of support to you now!

S.C.
Posted 3/31/2013 5:25 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you. I am trying to find out a way to get back home. I think it would be better for both me and my kids. But my husband is also right. Financially it would be better to wait until aug which is the plan. It is just really hard. I just keep hoping that if repeat to myself that this is a good move. That maybe i will understand and accept and stop having anxiety about. But i am still waiting. Thank you again.
Posted 3/31/2013 7:27 PM (GMT 0)
Sandkitten

I have been fortunate and never been in your place but I am sure it is a huge adjustment for you and I will try to give you some tips to help you survive with dignity.

Be sure to keep the lines of communication open and honest while you are living with your in-laws and don't count on your hubby to do this for you.  Speak out of a place of love, not anger.

Make sure you know your mother-in-law's home rules (after all, it is her house), and respect them. Also share any rules you may have of your own.

Take time to recharge yourself. Splurge on a massage, take a walk through a quiet park, visit with friends and family, or do whatever it is that makes you happy. Living with your mother-in-law is going to be a stressful situation, even if you and your mother-in-law are best friends, so remember to treat yourself to keep you as happy as possible!

Hopefully this will be very short term and you will be back in a home of your own by August.

I admire the way you are taking responsibility for being the designated

driver as this is huge.   So remember to pat yourself on your back for doing the very best you can under the circumstances.

Tell yourself, " I can do this as it is only until August"  ,  "My family and I will be back in a home of our own before the beginning of the next school year."

"I am stronger then I think"

I am a good person and can make the best of this situation"

"The members of HealingWell are my support team"

Blessings to you,

Kitt

Posted 3/31/2013 8:53 PM (GMT 0)
SK
Kitty has it right, all my children have had to live with me from time to time, now I have 3 grown
Grandkids trying to go to college and work, I feel sorry for anyone who is so desperate they have to live with me, Im kinda krazy myself. I do Love them and I am sure your inlaws Love you and your children, its just something that happens in todays world sort of a test, what really counts is months from now when you can go back home. Keep the Peace!
A good work to remember is "Endure".

Larry ***

Post Edited (lgm1942) : 3/31/2013 2:56:36 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/4/2013 11:26 AM (GMT 0)
Hello SK!

Lemme tell you that I can relate with your experience fully. There was a time I had to live with my in laws for over a year and it was no pick nick at all. My wife and I had our worst fights while under those circumstances. What's worse is your partner will have some sort of personality metamorphosis while you are living w ur inlaws. Having said this, yes we have to acknowledge that we live in the real world and we do have to compromise. As cliche as it sounds, the only thing I can tell you is to take it one day at a time and to have no expectations. Surprisingly you know when I look back on those days, I did have some very nice memories as well. While the not so fun days were more prevalent, there were some rainbows too.

Hang in there and know that others have been in your situation too..

Peace and love,
GP
Posted 4/5/2013 3:11 PM (GMT 0)
While my in laws were moving out to PA and we were moving into their apartment, but I could not move in with my x husband and my kids three months prior,just because I was a different religion from them. Being away from my children was the hardest thing that I ever had to deal with, talk about stress and it was during the winter, so when I got to see my kids it would be outside in the lobby. But such is life and I dealt with it. But I do hope you take one day at a time and do not see August as months down the line, we are already in April. Hang tight be blessed.
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