Anxiety, fear of going crazy

Hello all, I'm new here and this is my first post. I'm 21 years old and within the past six months my girlfriend of three years broke up with me, I was forced to quit my job and I got heavy into drinking alcohol which I just recently quit about two weeks ago. That's because I woke up one morning with a horrible hangover, drank a cup of coffee and had a full blown anxiety attack where I didn't feel right and kept analyzing my thoughts and couldn't calm myself down. I've never had that problem before, I was always confident and did great in school. Ever since then for the past couple of weeks I've been getting horrible anxiety with a couple of panic attacks throughout, my problem is that I over analyze everything I think and do, nothing is fluid to me anymore. My mind is always racing and I've only had a few moments where I truly felt happy, the rest of my time is spent worrying and waging a war in my mind. I know that this is all irrational and it's all inside my head but I have too much time on my hands now and I keep going down a negative spiral of thoughts, I can't enjoy what I love anymore, music and cars, because I keep getting struck with fear that I'm going to lose my freaking mind or not stop feeling this way. I focus too much on what goes on in my head and my thoughts are always racing, I look up symptoms to mental illnesses all day and keep convincing myself I'm going to get one. My mother was a schizophrenic and that's the only case of that in my family. I was adopted at a young age and never knew her well. My main fear is that that's going to happen to me, I'm going to lose touch with reality and start seeing and hearing stuff, I know it's ridiculous and honestly I don't think it's going to happen, it's just an irrational fear that keeps growing, I can't find peace of mind anymore. All the symptoms of anxiety are eating me away, making me think something worse is going on, loss of focus, racing thoughts, everything seems different to me because I think about it too much, it's like I've lost touch with myself. I quit drinking alcohol, caffeine, and smoking cigarettes all with the past month which I know is probably the major cause of this. I was drinking very heavily seven days a week and kinda quit cold turkey. The getting back in touch with reality and enjoying a sober life has been hard because I can't enjoy anything and keep worrying about myself all the time, going into an analysis paralysis often. I don't want to have to deal with this forever, I'm sick of feeling scared over nothing and letting negative reoccurring thoughts putting me into a circle of doubt. I'm starting a new job soon and going back to college in august but I worry that my panic will stop me from being able to do those things. I don't know what to do at this point besides try to stay positive, but my mind keeps going back to the panic.

After reading this and doing some research on panic disorder, I already feel calmer and more in control. I never would of imagined myself here but the first panic attack I had was so confusing, frustrating and scary that it left me with all these other worries that have been building. When I look back, I've always thought logically and always been a deep thinker which is why this was all so perplexing to me. I really appreciate your feedback, at this point I want to try to find a way to reduce my regular anxiety and learn how to relax myself, which is the hardest thing for me. I was always pressured to do my best at school and sports by my family, and that has internalized itself as a constant push to always be doing something, accomplishing something and proving myself. Unfortunately I don't have the means for therapy which kind of scares me but I feel I can take care of it myself for the most part. Even when I have panic attacks I can still function pretty well, once I start making more money I am going to try to find a good therapist to work with. For now I have great friends and a good family, and I'll always have myself. I'm going to start making realistic goals and learning how to control my mind, like you say. I've already got a bunch of self help books here I'm going to read througg

Hi Overcome and welcome!

Gald that you have joined us. Thanks for reaching out and for your input.;)

Feel free to start a thread of introduction for yourself at anytime that you feel comfortable doing so.

Scaredy Cat

I appreciate everyone's input, it's reassuring to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way. I've been on the mood gym and I've found it to be very insightful and helpful in showing me what thoughts are irrational in correlation to certain events. I just wish I knew what to do when I get sudden feelings of panic for no reason, it's like my mind goes a million miles an hour worrying about what I'm feeling and having trouble concentrating or focusing on anything with thoughts that have more importance than is rational, like if I'm going to be okay or lose touch with reality or have a heart attack. Every time it happens it feels different, yet the same. If anybody knows a way of calming down during or before an attack that would be incredible.