living with depressed person

I have noticed since living with a depressed person I have become depressed/anxious.

Has anyone got any experience on maintaining your sanity when living 24/7 with a depressed person who moved in and probably will never leave? She has major depression and dysthymia and truly can not make it alone . She is 34, divorced, and no job.She has health problems that keep her from driving. We live in a remote area. It's rather hopeless.

Thank you for your ideas.

Carol

She hates men after her divorce. She said she will never have another relationship again. It's heartbreaking I feel like it's my fault somehow.I raised her right I just feel I failed .She gave up.

Thank you. I hope she gets happier someday.

That's what I think...but she says she doesn't like people.

I'm just going crazy over it. Trying to keep myself ok....I think it's rubbed off on me.

She is not in a good place emotionally. Some things just take time. I just wonder how I can keep myself ok...while she lives with me I pick up on her depression and you can't help but have someone rub off on you when they're in your house and with you 24/7

None. I'm retired, moved here. She has no plans

Thank you. I will probably just post on here for now, appreciate your blindness though.

Oh my gosh I meant kindness!!! My kindle is always on auto correct!!!

Sigh

Hi Carol,

Is this your daughter that you speak of? I am sorry to hear of her issues and the fact that you seem to carry some guilt about her situation.

I firmly believe that we all own our adult lives and are responsible for them. No parent is perfect...and each child must come to terms with that. After they are adults, only they can and should make any changes that need to be made, or seek help for any issues that need attention.

I also believe that you can only have energy and be happy enough for one person...you. You can't try to take it on for someone else. You will have to guard your own well being while living with your daughter and her disorder.

What is she doing to help herself? Does she have any current therapy or self-help that she employs?

My adult daughter lives with us. She has been diagnosed as bi-polar 2, and part of her contract (yes, an actual paper that we all signed) is that she manages her disorder.

We love and care for her, but will not allow her, issues or not, to negatively affect the rest of the family by not helping herself.

I hope that this does not sound harsh. It is meant to be the opposite. Sometimes the greatest gift you can give someone is 'constructive' love, if that makes sense.  Of course we love our children unconditionally...but that is not the same as accepting/allowing unhealthy situations in our lives

I wish you both the best. Keep yourself guarded by using your coping skills, taking breaks and enjoying hobbies that allow you to get outside of your situation when you need an escape.

Hugs,

S.C.

Yes it is my daughter, and she is not able to drive due to absence seizures where everything goes dark for a few seconds.... This has been a strain. I will not be her taxi ..I am stressed enough. She could move to friends places or her brother's place and get public transportation. She refuses. So here she sits playing wow all day, doing nothing.I have been patient because of the nature of her illness, and all the meds she got off of. And her past history in an abusive relationship. I feeling that after 2 years something needs to change. She does help out here with chores and is appreciated, but I keep thinking she needs more, this is a place to retire...were in our 50's, and she's young...just seems so unnatural to sit alone here.

I do agree about the adult responsibility part. I appreciate your support. I have offered to put her on the one bus in our area that goes three times a day...but I am not her taxi..I am not driving her allover this county..I am still raising a teenager and very busy driving already!
...it is 30miles to the nearest town of 3000 population. The area has limited resources for her situation. I did not ask her here she just showed up. I love her, but it is hard.
Carol

Post Edited (Carol57) : 5/13/2013 12:08:50 PM (GMT-6)

Yes, it is, and she is very busily playing it all day

Thanks Larry. You know sometimes all I need is to get support, someone saying they know what im going through, and I do appreciate it. I think life is just like a roller coaster sometimes. Having understanding shares the burden and I do truly appreciate everyone's help. It's not so much that I want her out, it's more like I want her happy. But I can't do it all.