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Posted 5/22/2013 5:29 PM (GMT 0)
Hey all,

I've had a problem with driving anxiety (on and off) for a while now now. This started about 4 years ago when I drove in particularly bad traffic on the highway while not feeling 100% physically, and subsequently had a panic attack. It's not driving itself that bothers me, but the idea of having a panic attack when driving, mainly on the highway, which has happened to me in the past. I used to drive virtually anywhere and everywhere, and in fact I used to really love driving. Lately it's been particularly bad and although I'm okay on city streets, I almost exclusively avoid highways, except for one small stretch which I have to drive on.

I have been invited to a BBQ with friends this weekend at a friend's new house, which is about a 45-50 minute drive away. I've never been there. Furthermore, it's a city I've never driven in, and it's all unfamiliar roads. AND there really isn't any reasonable way to get there other than major highways, and right now I'm just too nervous to drive on them. I've asked but it doesn't seem possible to get a ride with anyone else.

I'd hate to bail on this just because I'm afraid to drive on the highway/unfamiliar areas. It seems ridiculous, and I don't want to make up some lame excuse not to go. But I am really that anxious about it.

I've been able to conquer/manage a lot of my anxiety issues but this driving one has been the toughest. Thoughts? Suggestions? I know driving anxiety is common (a few of my relatives also have it) but I don't like the fact that I might be missing out on things just because of a piddly issue like this.

Post Edited (redleader) : 5/22/2013 11:32:31 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/22/2013 6:04 PM (GMT 0)
It kinda depends, if You feel that you are a safe driver then go for it, I drove for years with anxiety and never
had a panic attack while driving but when I got home wow. Most of us can force ourselves to do something
that is unpleasant or uncomfortable, you know your capabilities better than anyone judge accordingly.
Just this one item, if you decide not to go for the "right" reasons promise not to beat yourself up, your
decision should be entirely safety oriented.

Larry ***
Posted 5/22/2013 6:23 PM (GMT 0)
I am generally a very safe driver, and I'm usually fine when I get to my destination. However, I'm fairly convinced I will have a panic attack if I attempt this drive. On the highway with nowhere safe to pull over that could be a problem.
Posted 5/22/2013 6:24 PM (GMT 0)
redleader, Driving anxiety is one of my problems and I really hate this fear as driving was always something I loved to do since I turn 15 years old. Here are some ideas for you:   1. Take small steps and you will eventually get to your destination -- A lot of people who have a fear of driving simply give up using their car altogether. This is the way to perpetuate your condition, not to heal yourself. If you feel that you're unable to drive, simply use the car for short periods. Either drive around the block, or to the grocery store, or take frequent pit stops to make sure your fear doesn't build up. By doing so, you're conditioning your mind to gradually overcome your fears. 2. Listen to soothing music while you're driving -- Music has great effect on our mood. Find some music that you can relax to and play it while you're driving. It will lower your overall stress levels and your will enjoy your ride more. 3. Take deep breaths -- If you're ever driving and start to experience one of the many symptoms of your phobia (sweating, stomachaches, nausea), take a few deep breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly. Deep breaths steady the heart beat and help you to relax When I knew I had to drive into the city on the extremely busy freeways for seminars, I would often get up at the crack of dawn on a Sunday morning and drive the route to my destination so I had a good idea of where I would need to drive to and where I would have to shift lanes. Knowing I had driven it once made the day of the actual event less stressful. I wish you well.
Posted 5/23/2013 6:43 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the tips. Having the radio on helps. Having passengers helps because conversation distracts me a bit. I also find listening to the ball game on the radio helpful. Basically, I'm generally okay with driving on city streets and familiar areas. It's highway/freeway and unfamiliar cities that I become very anxious about. In order to get to the BBQ, I would have to drive on the busiest highway in the country, and I haven't driven on it in 4 years. The thought of it petrifies me, which is why I don't think I can attend this BBQ unless I can figure out alternative transportation. I could take back roads but I'd be driving for hours, and I'm not sure that would help my anxiety either since much of the route would be unfamiliar. I hate this problem.
Posted 5/23/2013 7:02 PM (GMT 0)
Driving has been an issue for me since I was 19 and I am 44 now. Thw last four months I have not driven at all. Little steps and opportunities for success is a great suggestion. You can do it!
Posted 5/24/2013 3:29 AM (GMT 0)
Red you could be like me, I tend to daydream when driving and I am famous for missing my exit,
got to see a lot of country that way. Remember what I said if you decide not to attend.

Larry ***
Posted 5/24/2013 6:27 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Redleader,

You are up for the Memorial Weekend BBQ Challenge! Oh, if your car is in good working order and you are not at all fatigued, secure a favorite spiritual reminder (pet?) someplace in your car prominently in view, and tell yourself, this symbolizes every grace that sustains us so far, and from such meaningful symbols by your side, you might be able to believe you will be sustained through your freeway and surface street motoring with minimal anxiety, if in addition, you will clearly map out every leg of the stretch before confidently driving to your Memorial Holiday BBQ to join your host and other guests. As a spiritual offering, why not bring a really healthy food item, too?
Posted 5/24/2013 6:31 PM (GMT 0)
I don't have anything terribly helpful to add, only an "I feel you!" I can handle regular streets, but not freeways. Well, I DO on occasion handle them, but I'm always physically ill when I get there. Sometimes, I choose between which I would hate worse - the drive or missing the event. For example, I drove on the freeway to my class reunion. However, I've declined a couple of wedding invitations recently.

I agree with Larry, though, if you decide not to go for the right reasons, don't beat yourself up over it.
Posted 5/24/2013 7:41 PM (GMT 0)
That's the weird thing with me. I will drive in snow. I will drive in heavy traffic. I will drive in torrential rain. But I seem to have lost my nerve for highway driving, except for one highway which I have to take out of necessity. It's a short stretch and I'm okay on it. Otherwise, it makes no sense to me why this happened. I used to drive everywhere. Then one day I had a panic attack in the car and things just unraveled. My goal for this summer was to start getting back on other major highways, beginning in short stretches. But this trip--50 minutes on the busiest highway in the country and a part I've never driven on in my life--is daunting, and it's not really the type of "exposure therapy" I had in mind. :) My fear is that I'll start the trip and won't be able to finish, and then get stranded.

I'll figure something out. Like I said, though, this is a frustrating problem.
Posted 5/24/2013 11:55 PM (GMT 0)
Red, You know You can do this, those roads were built by Common People just like You and I.

Just a thought not meant to be intimidating, Memorial Day was Decoration Day it was set aside to pay
Tribute and Honor to fallen Soldiers. When this started America was a Rural Nation most young men who
went to service were from farms and small towns. Most had never been away from home, never seen the
Ocean or flew in an airplane. In short they were terrified by the trip to a place where they might get killed. But They Went. They felt is was their Duty to America yes they were terrified, some actually peed their pants when going into battle, but they went. Scardy Cats saying about Courage is totally True. Your Scared as hell, you might get killed, or worse, but You go because it's your Duty! "I want You to Win a War with Fear" You Can! We Love You and We are with You! Did You know You can't touch fear, it's in our imagination!
Larry ***
Posted 5/25/2013 12:18 AM (GMT 0)
Can't you take the normal city roads and avoid the "unknown" highways?

What do you think scares you of the highway? People driving fast? I mean, something has to trigger something.
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