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i know u r tired of me

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Posted 6/19/2013 12:07 AM (GMT 0)
My friend hasn't texted, called or come to hotel today. I am sure he has found that my stuff is missing by now. Makes me wonder if he even cares that I am gone.

Its like that with everyone I meet. At first, they say they love me & will help me in some ways. I try to be really perfect & grateful. Then I do something stupid or unintentional & they no longer want anything to do with me.

I wish I could just go to live in the woods or something & never have to deal with another human
again.

I think that is what depresses me most about my car accident/dui. Thats bad enough having to pay all those fines. But I don't know how long I am not going to have a license or a car. I hate being dependant on anyone.

I feel so overwhelmed that this is all happening @ once. I know I need to start doing things instead of just sitting here crying & drinking.
Posted 6/19/2013 2:47 AM (GMT 0)
Hello, you have touched my heart&I can give you a point of view from how I made it,because Ive been there done it all drinking until I was sick&loseing what I dranj. Drinking may cover pain/hurt for a min but it don't make it go away&it wakes up much worse,so it with truth only add to your problem&feeln sorry for yourself want either. We make choices in life some good and some bad true test come from,do we keep making the same mistake are wake up&learn for them. Everything happen for a reason&we just have to deal with what comes after the choice we make,don't live your life to please mankind but to please Gof&yourself. In order to know what kind of love you deserve from ppl,rather it's man,woman,family,friends. You must first learn to love yourself the right way,and then wrong want even have a chance and know you are always loved by God.
Posted 6/19/2013 2:59 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks, I know what you are saying. But I believe i was born by mistake. I have ZERO talents, I am ugly, fat, stupid, etc. Why have I had 3 rollover car accidents & only had some back pain when there are people that are much better dying every day? Why does god or whoever keep me alive?

I know the drinking isn't good, but i just want to feel numb for a little while. I am so tired of thinking.

I miss my friend's dog. We would be on our little walk around the neighborhood right now. I know he enjoyed it & I did too. My friend is too lazy to even take him to a place where he can run while my friend drives the car.
Posted 6/19/2013 3:13 AM (GMT 0)
Also, in my haste to pack today, I forgot a library book. Its not due til July but I know for sure my friend will not return it. Do I text him for it or what? I need to get out of this town in next day or two.
Posted 6/19/2013 3:15 AM (GMT 0)
You're still alive because you have a role to serve.

Please, let that sink in. You are here for a reason.


You have talents and purpose. You just haven't found it yet. No one is born without redeeming qualities. You just have to search them out and let them shine.

Think about this - there was gold before it was discovered. It took even longer for people to learn to make jewelry from it. Now, we're using it in technology, medicine and more. It's this wonderful, valuable thing, but at one time no one knew about it. Still, it existed.

Your value and worth exists, too. Just because you can't (or refuse to) see it doesn't negate its existence.

Start digging girl, there's something beautiful and valuable to find.
Posted 6/19/2013 3:26 AM (GMT 0)
Ok. Sorry, I have another question. We were planning to go on this vacation to a expensive resort beginning of July. Do I ask him if I should pay for my 1/2?

I know its best that I leave him but I keep thinking of things I need to talk to him about.
Posted 6/19/2013 3:27 AM (GMT 0)
Mam, your net worth is not determined by anyone's personal opinion of you, only You and Your
Creator assign your true worth, Its measured by how you treat others and even the dog of the so called man.
Don't look in the mirror of public opinion for your real image but in the Hearts of Common People. Peace.

Larry ***

As a man I must tell you that I feel you are in some danger, I Pray You will get away from him! Please!

Larry ***

Post Edited (lgm1942) : 6/18/2013 9:30:38 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 6/19/2013 3:50 AM (GMT 0)
Ok, thanks everyone.
But again, what do i do about library book & vacation cancellation? Do I text him or what?
Posted 6/19/2013 4:24 AM (GMT 0)
I'd let him have some time before contacting him. Like, until you're somewhere safe. Are you somewhere safe? I think I missed where you went when you left...

Are you able to pay for your half on the vacation? I wouldn't bring it up if you aren't...
Posted 6/19/2013 4:30 AM (GMT 0)
I am still @ same hotel. I paid for tonight, tho. Its too expensive. I hate this town anyways. The nearest bigger town is an hour away so I would like book asap. I feel stupid for not remembering it.
Posted 6/19/2013 4:59 AM (GMT 0)
Oh, I overlooked the book post.

Is it an expensive book? Perhaps you could call the library, explain that it is somewhere difficult to obtain and see if you can just pay for it.
Posted 6/19/2013 5:09 AM (GMT 0)
Omg, I texted him. He has been back in town for 12 hours. We used to talk by text or phone all day. Now, i know for sure he doesnt love or care about me. Am i that terrible that he cant even think about my feelings? I tried so hard to be perfect but failed.
Posted 6/19/2013 6:41 AM (GMT 0)
Wow, the only way you'd know for sure if he didn't love you or care about you is that if he told you that directly.
I can't believe anybody would write that on a text, guess good old fashioned interpersonal communication doesn't exist anymore. It's bad enough having to share bad news over a telephone, I always thought it was best to handle personal feelings face to face.

Well, if he did text you that he doesn't love or care about you, well he doesn't sound like he is a decent person for not telling you face to face. Probably not worth your time.
Posted 6/19/2013 2:26 PM (GMT 0)
U misunderstood me. If he didnt talk to me for 12 hours when we usually talk all the time. when if it was him that left me, I would have wondered what was going on. But he apparently didn't care that my stuff was gone. That shows to me, no love or concern.
Posted 6/19/2013 3:05 PM (GMT 0)
Mam, your worrying about the kitty peeing on the rug and there is a hungry lion outside your door!
You can make things right with the library later, but you cannot replace You! Get some where safe! Peace.

Larry ***
Posted 6/19/2013 3:27 PM (GMT 0)
Ok
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