Health Anxiety?

Hey everyone, alright so I have resorted to online forums and am in need of some answers, or at least some things to help ease my mind. I will have you know I am quite young, I am 15 years old and I am a female.

I am new to the whole "anxiety" or "health anxiety" thing, and my problems have only started about a month and a half ago, or at least that's when it began to get incredibly noticeable.

(NOTE: sorry if this makes some people uncomfortable, just felt as though I needed to post all information for good answers and replies)
So it actually all began in April when I began to feel a pain in my breast, it wasn't anything unbearable and it went away as soon as my period was over, so I figured my breast was just a little swollen from my period and I mean I do self breast checks just to know what's 'normal' for a female of my age. Nothing unusual, no lumps or anything and it didn't itch and there was no discharge. Just a little uncomfortable feeling. It happened the same time the next month during my period just not as noticeable and a lot more bearable. The next month it happened again, same thing, during my period. So there were no lumps and it was just a little uncomfortable pain. This time it began to worry me even though I didn't feel anything when I self checked.
So I began to google my symptoms, and that's when everything went downhill.

I then found articles on cyclic breast pain (which I believed I had, considering I got a pain in my breast every month during my period and it subsided during or after), breast cysts which tended to go away on their own, and of course the dreaded breast cancer. Of course I believed I had breast cancer even though I didn't feel anything when I self checked. I even talked to my mom who told me it's very rare for girls my age to get that type of cancer and that usually the breast doesn't hurt when you have a cancerous tumor.

During that same week I was watching A Walk To Remember, and me being the curious person I was googled how doctors diagnosed people with leukemia. I didn't think I had it, I was merely curious because I didn't know whether or not the cancer showed physical symptoms or not. I read that normally the person with the cancer would have nose bleeds and fatigue, joint pain and loss of appetite/vomiting, and easy bruising. I was completely fine, satisfied that I found the answer I was looking for since I was quite curious.

The following day I began to worry, and I honestly don't remember what made me worry. I guess it was because I woke up at 6 am throwing up. I had just had a horrible nightmare that I had breast cancer and ran straight to the bathroom heaving and finally managed to puke what was in my stomach up. During this period I had been extremely crampy, causing me to not want to eat. I initially thought of that being the reason and went up and told my mom who sat with my and told me I was alright. I then went and puked again and again. I puked three times that day, from 6 am to 11 am. I was fine after then but still felt a little uneasy when eating, sort of like my throat didn't want to swallow the food knowing my stomach wouldn't keep it (although it did).

That's when my leukemia craze (I guess you would call it?) began. I began to feel pain in my arms and I believed it was from the side planks I attempted a few days prior considering I knew I did them completely wrong. But it continued, and I searched more symptoms online and found things such as "torn rotator cuff" and began to feel a little better, knowing it was something that tended to heal on it's own. But then my pain continued and eventually my legs began to ache. Sort of like a dull ache, almost like my muscles were tightened? (it's very hard to explain). Some days my calf muscles would feel crampy, almost like someone was squeezing them very hard and then letting them go, over and over. The more I thought about the pain the longer it continued. So I decided to try and get my mind off of it, and I realized that whenever I preoccupied my mind the pain subsided and as soon as I thought of it it began to start up again.

This went on for a little while and I guess eventually with enough reassurance from my mom that I did not have leukemia or a problem of any kind it began to go away. I also began to exercise, so that might've helped out.

I laughed about it sometimes, it's a bit crazy. What would be the odds that I'd get leukemia right AFTER reading about the symptoms? It's almost like my mind thought up the symptoms and then began to progressively make them worse the more I worried.

The crazy thing is that even though at times I laugh and think about how stupid and unrealistic I'm being I can't stop thinking that I actually have leukemia at times. My mind fills with "what ifs" and "maybe I do have this.." and I can't get my mind off of it. I'm always looking at other people when I'm public and thinking "wow, they're not going through what I am..I wish I felt normal like they did.". I also feel like my stomach is dropping out of my body whenever I see other people in public with bandannas and bald heads. I think to myself "I'm so sorry for everything you've been through.." and then begin to think of myself going through chemo. It's disturbing thoughts like that that then send me tumbling through a downward spiral, a rush of sadness and fear comes over me and I feel like I'm unable to escape it.

I went to my doctor and she checked my breasts and she found nothing (my mind is at ease and I no longer think I have breast cancer-although my monthly breast pain hasn't returned just yet, my mind might switch directions if that ends up happening once again). I didn't tell her about my other worries and pains because I am afraid she is going to confirm my worst fear.

A few days after I went down the beach and my anxiety and pains all disappeared, I honestly felt like the person I was before all of this began. Then halfway through my vacation week, I felt an ache in my arm. It very well could've been a natural pain (I'm sure it was), but I couldn't help but dwell on it. I automatically thought to myself "not THIS again". My arm pain began to get worse, spreading to my forearm. I thought 'maybe it's from riding on the back of the jet ski and riding those gokarts today', but the next day the other arm began to ache. And later my legs began to ache again. The same muscle tightness. I began to worry again though because of course the pain in my legs ran from my thighs to my calves, running right through my knees. I thought to myself "joint pain..leukemia". I thought that back when I was going through the pain earlier as well, so this wasn't a new thought. I notice again that when I get my mind off of it it subsides and when I think and dwell on it and get disturbing thoughts it begins again.

I honestly just want this to go away but from all the research I've done (I should really have this computer taken away from me, googling does not help me at all! Although I will admit some things put my mind at ease, like when I google health anxiety symptoms and notice I relate to most symptoms) it seems as though my subconscious could be the culprit. No matter what I tell myself the symptoms are going to continue and my anxious thoughts aren't going to disappear.

From the looks of everything else I've read, like posts on here from fellow hypochondriacs, they believe they suffer from multiple diseases. The only two I was ever really worried about was leukemia and breast cancer.

I heard that you need to be worried for more days of the week than not for six months to be diagnosed and treated for this mental sickness. I am going on a month and a half and I honestly don't believe I can go another 4 and a half months with this on and off pain and all of these disturbing thoughts! But I feel like my doctor would just turn me away until the 6 month limit to help me out any.

I will inform you all that I have hyperactive thyroid, which I've heard can cause anxiety and anxiety symptoms (I do take medicine for my thyroid but I'm wondering if the dosage needs to be upped, I am going to see my endo in August though!) so I wonder if that could be the culprit! I have lost a bit of weight, going from 117 to 113 (although I exercise regularly-about 3 to 5 days a week and eat healthy) and my hands are a bit shaky.

I just want to hear your thoughts on this, do you believe I suffer from health anxiety? Even though it's only been a month and a half that is?

Thanks to all who have read this and thank you for your responses and posts. I hope they do set my mind at ease, and if anyone could also post any remedies to help get rid of the pain when I do suffer from the mild cases.

Much love Maddy

kortnie21 said...
Hi Maddy and welcome!

Its sound like anxiety to me although I'm not a doctor. I too just started all of this about two months ago! Continue to write on this forum there is ALOT of people here whi can help you and reassure you again welcome to the forum

Thank you! I've seen tons of people on this website who have gotten the answers they were looking for so I have faith that the same will happen for me!

Hi Maddy! Welcome to this forum and I agree with K that this does sound like 100% anxiety! Anxiety is a funny thing sometimes because it can mimic many different kinds of diseases and can give you aches and pains all around your body. Best thing to do now is to STOP with google because that is the worst you can do and most importantly not dwell on all of the pains. Your young and are still growing. You have a whole life to live and shouldn't worry until you are like 70 haha. I know because I am a 17 year old guy( mistake in my profile) who deals with health anxiety and had the arm pains and leg knee pains but never thought much about it because I'm still growing! And anxiety likes to tease you like that as well. Most importantly is to trust your doctor. I have a hard time with that myself but it's the truth and if there were anything that was concerning the doc would make sure to tell ya and take action. You will be okay!

Jocipher.

Dear Maddy, I'm a little older than you and the others Kortnie, and Joshua so try and tollorate an old
man. I went through some of the health related anxiety when I was about 16, they had just came out with the lung cancer smoking thing and it scared many not just me. I had pretty sever pain in my rib cage just below my left brest and I was terrified it was LC, I was raised by my Grandparrents
and I walked home from school so I could go by their doctor. First he gave me a lecture about fear not ridicule just putting things in perspective, then a check up. The rib pains were intercostal muscles because of exercise and growing. He told me that the answer to fear of death was to live, not recklessy but in the fullness of life, I have used that phrase here when trying to help our members many times. The thing I recommend to you is schedule yourself an appointment with the doctor for a complete check up, be honest with your doctor she will suprise you with her concern and will not laugh at you, but before you do this make up your mind that you will live with and accept the diagnosis of the doctor. People who suffer with PAD have a tendency to think the doctor missed something and its going to kill them! This is not true! For you to get past this misserable situation you are in you "must" accept that you suffer from some form of PAD, then you can learn ways to put anxiety down and not let it continue any furthur in your life. Make that appointment and once you are thru resolve to Live! Peace
Larry ***

Thank you to everyone who's posted on her, I am feeling reassured and I in fact have a doctors appointment scheduled sometime in August (it's not specifically for my "[health] anxiety" but it's for my doctor to go over my endo/thyroid blood test results). I have thought over what I'm going to do and I've spoken to my mother and we both believe that I should bring it up to my doctor. My mom believes it is nothing more than health anxiety and she in fact brought up some old stories that give me hope that it is in fact just that!

She told me that when I was younger (I believe she said summer going into 7th grade-I'm surprised I didn't remember all that well when she told me) I had a red rash on my right breast. She told me I was worried I had breast cancer and I self checked myself even then. But it eventually went away and so did my worries-too bad I didn't go to my doctor about my worries then and there.

I also got the HPV shots when I was about 12-13ish and I then had a swollen lymph node in my neck. She said I got worked up about that as well and felt it everyday and would complain about it to her even though it never caused me any pain. I would always dwell on the fact that I might need surgery or something and my mom then told me that her sister has one swollen gland in her neck, and in fact one of the side effects was swollen glands. My doctor even reassured me when I worried enough and landed myself back in my pediatricians office.

So I do have some stories that show I have suffered from believing I have these terrible diseases or problems, although I guess none of them were as bad as this go-round. I never really suffered from anxiety symptoms like achy legs and arms and occasional headaches that tend to go away within 30 seconds or so. I never check my pulse so I am unsure as to whether or not my heart beat is faster than normal (I'm not even going to worry myself with beginning to check, that's for sure!).

I can say though I never googled anything back then, so maybe that's the reason my worries disappeared as soon as the problems let up, because I didn't have any major illnesses I could possibly have in my subconscious mind. Although I did see on Dr Oz back when I had the rash on my breast that rashes can mean breast cancer (or so my mom told me-of course she said that made me freak out)

So I am feeling much more confident that I am merely suffering from health anxiety and not some major illness that could end up killing me in the long run. I can't say I'm 100% comfortable just yet, I still worry whenever my leg pain or arm pain starts back up or continues/flares up. It's on and off I guess, sometimes when I'm anxious (like right now for example) I don't feel it at all (although my legs are a bit jumpy, so I guess I have mild restless legs, although this does NOT keep me up at night). Sometimes I could be leaving my anxious thoughts behind and it starts and that's when my mind moves and preoccupies itself with "when's it going to happen next" or "is it EVER going to go away?"


I thank you all for your input and opinions, and thank you for setting my mind at ease! I feel comfortable discussing my problems with you all!

Of course if you still have thoughts you would like to share, continue posting. I like reading what people think, it makes me feel better and erases the disturbing thoughts I tend to have!

Maddy you are Home here, one of our Family, together we will
defeat this condition. Peace

Larry ***

Fox7 said...
Maddy, I started with anxiety and panic attacks when I was 14 years old, and when I was 16 I had the same problem you are speaking of, with the painful breasts right before and during my periods. I got so freaked out when I actually felt a lump one time, that I called the doctor and went to see him.

Needless to say, it was what they call Fibrocystic Breasts. It is a fibrous lump that appears right before your period, then goes away afterwards, but it is pretty painful to the touch. The one thing you can do for this is to stay away from caffeine, especially around that time of the month. For some reason caffeine makes it worse.

I am now going on 41, and I have outgrown all of those growing pains, obviously. And I'm still here! No breast cancer, as a matter of fact I just had a mammogram last year and everything was good.

I think you are doing the right thing by seeing your doc, and make sure you tell him/her exactly what you are feeling. You are young enough to nip this in the bud now before it gets too far. Don't wait and let it continue, or you'll end up like me, still "freaking out" over stupid things, that I KNOW are stupid, but just can't stop my mind from doing the whole "what if" thinking.

Good luck sweetie, and we are here for you any time you need us.

((hugs))
Fox

Yeah! I had heard about that and honestly I found out about it from googling (huge mistake-BUT I read and have in fact heard from others that it is common in teenagers who are developing). I'm not too worried about it anymore knowing that when I went to my doctor she didn't find anything suspicious, no lumps or enlarged cysts or glands. Considering I'm not that "big" I can't imagine anything could be hiding deeper in my breasts, so I've definitely gotten my mind off of it. I don't think about it everyday like I used to!

I even had the agitating pain that spread from the upper part of my breast to my armpit! Of course that only made my anxiety worse, and then that same week searching leukemia symptoms made me go even crazier! I honestly thought I had the disease, but considering I was worrying a ton I must've gotten my mind thinking all of these symptoms up and then I was just a big bundle of nerves.

And yes I am refraining from consuming caffeine! I hardly drink soda anymore anyways, of course the hardest thing to stay away from during that time every month is chocolate! Haha, I'm definitely working on it and I'm in fact closing in on that "time", no pain yet. Other months I got the pain 1-1 1/2 weeks prior to when it actually began! Thank god! :-D

LB1976 said...
Maddy -

I am so sorry that you are feeling this at such a young age. I am 36 and have horrible health anxiety. Google is my worst enemy now. Every time I tell my husband something is off, or weird, he immediately says "don't you start googling it". But I freak out and do it anyway (I have an iPad so it is easy for me to do it without anybody seeing).

I too recently thought I had leukemia because I had a mysterious bruise on my hand.

It is awful that we do this to ourselves. What we think is a positive by convincing ourselves we don't have some horrible disease, we find some other equally horrible disease that we then convince ourselves we have, which, of course, feeds our anxiety - often causing us more symptoms.

It is a vicious cycle - one I have not been able to find a way to stop.

We are all in this together.

That's another thing I do! about a week or so ago when my anxiety was at it's highest, I would check all over my body for bruises and sign of any swelling around my joints. I was obsessed with my health and I would often cry right before I went to bed because all I wanted was to feel like my old self again.

I've heard it IS possible to read symptoms and then later feel them. And of course I do find it strange that as soon as I read the symptoms of L I later began to feel them. The pain wasn't consistent in my knees and elbows and shoulders (although I had pain in other parts of those limbs, like thighs and calves and sometimes shins; forearms and right under my shoulder. Sometimes my back hurts a bit, if I'm thinking about it). I feel like I'm bringing it all upon myself kind of in a mind over matter situation?? I guess you could say..

My mom also says I could very well be feeling this way considering I'm home alone almost every morning-until-afternoon during the summer. And thinking back on previous years I'm always thinking something is wrong during the summer (which is usually why I dread summer break- crazy as it sounds!). Could very well be it.



And aw, I'm sorry to hear you've been going through this as well! I know it's very common to have health anxiety, but it's kind of crazy thinking I could be going through this, seems almost unreal. Like I'm overreacting, I don't know I can't really get it through my mind that I could actually be suffering from this.

But you and I and a few others on this forum post are all going/or have gone through similar situations! And yes we can all get through it together! And don't worry over that bruise you found, trust me, when I was going through my "self check" phase a week or so ago I found several bruises (small and very faint in color) and freaked out over them. Found out my mom and friends get bruises easily. It's not uncommon to bruise and that's what I had to get through my head in order to keep from freaking out even more.


Have you gone to your doctor at all? Seen what their thoughts were on your symptoms and how you've been feeling? I honestly believe you too are suffering from health anxiety, not to worry you any! I believe it's nothing more than just that!

I'm glad you've realised your symptoms are caused by anxiety. I wouldn't worry about tingling on the sides of your abdomen, I get that when I'm hungry, that's all it is.

As for something else to do, here's a few ideas:
•read novels
•draw pictures
•learn a new hobby, e.g. dancing, horse riding, music
•do some cooking and baking
•start figuring out what you're going to do with your life after school finishes; start getting together a list of possible future careers that interest you and the pathway to each of those careers. I was always doing this and by the time I reached the beginning of my final year of school (the one that counts towards university entrance) I knew exactly what I was going study after school and what minimum grades I needed to achieve to get there. Now I'm studying the uni course that I was aiming for and I'm very happy that I made the right decision - but it took me 3 years of thinking about it off and on while still going to school to decide.
•plan where you're going to travel when you get the money to, and what attraction you're going to see and how much money you'll need to save to get there.
•do some volunteer work - help other people with their problems instead of obsessing over your own. I have found volunteer work very rewarding.
•figure out how to live a healthy lifestyle - diet, exercise, sleep hygiene, relaxation, mindfulness meditation, cognitive behavioural therapy. You can start living as healthily as possible to prevent any health problems in the future.

Anyway, there are plenty of things you can do by yourself apart from obsessing over your health.

Hope you feel better soon
Jasmine

That's great! Dancing is my absolute favourite form of exercise - I barely notice my pain when I do it because it's just so fun!

I watch comedies to distract myself from the fibromyalgia pain. It really does help.

Always good to plan ahead for your future (my friends and family thought I was a bit weird with that too, but now my friends are moaning that they're not happy in their uni courses and they're restless - while I'm perfectly happy and enthusiastic in my studies!).

You're welcome! Keep thinking about positive things that move you to achieve better things and learn new skills.

I have been getting really bad again! The past few mornings I have been waking up earlier than I normally would during the summer, I usually wake up remembering a really bad dream I had earlier during my sleep about a disease I've lately been terrified and scared that I might have. It's horrible and this morning I went into the bathroom and my defecate was much softer than normal and I was very gassy. I did check my pulse and counted the heart beats for about 30 seconds and then multiplied the number by two to get my beats per minute. Me being young, my beats per minute shouldn't be all that high. At rest my heart beats per minute was 93, and as I got up and began walking around and going downstairs it went down and I am now somewhere in the 80s.

I feel much more calmer than I was earlier, but my legs are really weak. Almost like I have been walking around an amusement park for the entire day. Lately I've been worried that I'm mistaking bone pain for muscle soreness, but the achy feeling in my legs tends to feel dull, like a toothache (not as bad) but in my leg.

I did have a breakdown last night where I started crying for no reason and then began to tell myself that I was going to be alright. It's been horrible and I honestly don't know whether or not to believe it's due to anxiety or something that I'm terrified of having. I tend to focus on my legs a lot when I'm walking, waiting for my joints to start killing me. My legs just feel really weak when I walk and it concerns me.

I know all of you have reassured me that I am fine and that it's only health anxiety and that once I get my mind off of it the soreness and achiness will go away but honestly, it's all I can focus on.

I don't know whether my anxiety is being worsened or caused by my hyperactive thyroid, but I'm hoping that's it considering I'm getting my thyroid checked for the first time in a year by my endo in August.

Along with my worries and concerns and constant need to focus on my symptoms (not knowing whether they're "all in my head" but actually happening..) I haven't been having the best appetite. I don't have any pain in my abdominal area, I just haven't been up for eating. I was like this as well 2-3 weeks ago when I was going through my first anxiety symptom occurrence.

I hope none of you are annoyed with my concerns and constant worries, and I cannot help but google at times, hoping I can ease my mind myself but the "mind at rest" feeling only lasts for a short lived period of time before I think something is seriously wrong with me again.

Thank you to everyone who's been here for me and kept me comforted and feeling like the only thing wrong is HA or GAD. I don't know whether to go straight to a mental health care person or my pediatrician (my main worry with that is that she'll test me for a ton of diseases I'm worried of having to see if anxiety really is the cause. My doctor tends to overreact and I don't want her to get carried away and worry me even more. I can't change doctors either because my parents' healthcare only covers certain doctors in the area and my pediatrician is the only female my mom is comfortable with me having. Her doctor is a GYN and doesn't do physicals of any kind, so I really only have one doctor to resort to).

I just don't know whether I should go to the mental health doctor first almost certain I have HA or my main doctor..

Once again I am very sorry if I'm annoying any of you with my worries, those of you who suffer from HA should understand and I hope you do. Thank you

lgm1942 said...
Maddy when I was in my early 40's my thyroid became hylperactive but I didnot know what it was, I
thought it might be low blood sugar but didnt have it checked, I was losing weight and holding down
two jobs working very hard, but I remember not sleeping very well and my legs felt weak and shakie. long story short I ended up in a mental hospital, and the first doctor that looked at me said I
think I know whats wrong with you. He was right my thyroid was 150% over active, after the radioactive idoine therapy we found out they did over kill and mine was not working so I'm on .137'
mg of thyroid every day over 25 years now. You might need a new check on this. Peace
"We do understand, but I would get a new test on the thyroid".
Larry ***

Yeah, when I went for my annual doctors appointment my doctor told me that the goiter in my neck has gone down moreso than the last time she checked, but she said she's just a bit worried considering I have lost weight since the last time I got weighed at the doctor (a year ago). So she had me booked for bloodwork to check my hemoglobin and all of the thyroid hormones and what not, and I got that done yesterday in fact. I haven't gotten any calls back or any information on it (although I doubt they'd know what the levels are in a days time). I am really worried that they're going to find something while testing the blood (although I'm pretty sure they only test what they check down on the lab work paper).

I had my thyroid medication dosages changed a lot when I went for regular endo check ups a little over a year ago. I used to go to the endo every three months and I went from taking one pill to taking two pills to taking a pill and a half (which I have been taking for a year now without returning to the endo). I've just been wondering if my thyroid has become immune to the medication and/or has gotten a bit worse or something..Maybe my dosage needs to be changed and I'll be relieved of these symptoms.

But do you really think the symptoms I listed above earlier today is really caused by anxiety? I'm scared it could be something else even though at times I'm content with the idea that it's only anxiety (I'm going crazy!! Ha). And do you think I should just go straight to a psychiatrist and get medication or just wait a few more weeks until I get to my endo?

My GP takes care of my meds but hes pretty sharp on mental things. Thyroid med is the actual hormone, depending on the brand its real thyroid or a synthic they work the same, wait and see what your blood test shows. You will be ok. Peace

Larry ***