Don't know where else to turn....

So after browsing the internet obsessively, googling every symptom I KNOW my anxiety produces I wound up here. I am really looking for someone to be here for me. My family thinks I am crazy, constantly thinking I have some life threatening illness.

I know when this started.....back last year I have an HIV scare. I met this guy and we had a one night stand, unprotected. I got sick, all the symptoms and that is when my googling began. Tested over and over and over until my Doctors wouldn't test me anymore. Clearly negative but couldn't convince myself otherwise. Fast forward a few months I watch my Gram die before my eyes of congestive heart failure. One month later I convince myself I am dying of a heart problem. That is when I had my first panic attack. Rushed to ER by ambulance, all tests come back fine....I am sure you all know the story.

Every day it is something different. Today my left leg has really been bothering me along with my left arm. Convinced I have a blood clot.....

This is getting so old. I never want to socialize, never want to take my kids out. I have taught my daughter how to dial 911 (probably not a bad idea regardless) but I am so afraid I am going to drop dead at any minute. I am a single Mom with 2 kids and so scared to leave them. I am so convinced I am dying I have written a will, and convinced my parents to fight for custody of my children after I "die." This is consuming my LIFE and I just want it to end...............

MichaKay, I had a thought while i was reading your post, your doing a lot of what if's and if you read other peoples posts you will find that about half of our people have health anxiety, but you seem to know what triggered yours and It would have scared me as well.
Understand I am guessing, but the fear of fatal illness after the scare you had is not unreasonable, it seems like that may be the first time you have had a real one on one with your mortality, this is a real game changer for many of us, I had to deal with this myself but after a long battle i decided that I was going to die only one time, and refused to do this every day. I wish you Peace and Recovery!
Larry ***
You have come to the right place and we hope you will become one of us' one of our Family, You are sincerely welcome here!
Larry ***

Post Edited (lgm1942) : 8/1/2013 5:07:14 PM (GMT-6)

We are always here to help and support each other, my pain is no worse than yours, I want them both to go. Peace

Larry ***