Say some encouriging things to me please, panic attacks been so strong :(

I'm a 34 yr old male that has suffered with anxiety and panic attacks since age 14, i first tried paxil ( about 4 days ) bad side effects, tried prozac for 3 days and got bad side effects, tried lexapro ( 1 month ) at first seemed to help the depression but left me no appetite and im a 34 yr old 6 ft male 140 lbs and i been on SSI/SSD for 10 years and i seem to worry about not gettting enough excersise and when i do seem to run or walk up steps i cant breathe and i get thrown into a panic attack, if i have any money riding on a football game and its really close i start to freak out, or if my kids start fighting boom panic attack, and they been severe really short of breath, chest pain, and numbness in the arms and even shoulder pain, but i keep going to the ER over and over and im a health nut im very afraid to die so if i get 1 symptom i get thrown into a full blown panic attack, i been getting ekgs and they been saying left axis deviation, and august 20th med express did 3 first showed Afib, left axis deviation, low qrs voltage or something, and the next showed left axis deviation, and sinus tachyardia, not sure what the 3rd said but he said everthing is normal your just a nervous wreck, well 3 days goes by and the left axis deviation keeps going through my head so i took my 1mg of xanax which i am prescribed 4 times a day but i try to take it when i need it but now im at about 3-4 a day, i go to the ER with my nephew i say i want my ekg taken while i'm calm and i give the ekg from med express to the nurse so they hook the heart monitor on me and take my pressure which was 131/91 and i'm freaking out cause i did not want the heart monitor on so i kept saying take this off cause it kept going off and i was getting scared it went in the 130s, then the Blood Pressure machine goes again and i seen my nephews eyes turn into the size of quarters and get real big so im like shut up justin don't tell me he said i wont so the doc spent about 30 minutes with me or more telling me im ok which they took another ekg which he just said it was fine for having a panic attack, so i asked him about the left axis and he said it means nothing at all and just your heart shoots to the side or something, so i start to feel my xanax kick in after 1 1/2 - 2 HRS which it never takes this long and him talking to me calmed me down, so while i was calm i asked my nephew how high did it go and he said 143/116 but by now they took it and it was 115/75, thats how bad these panic attacks have been, and all i talk about is health everyday and i keep getting kind of a clean bill of health but just can't believe it, can i possibly be a hypochondriac also, i worry about too much salt in my food and everything, i dab grease off my food, and im 6ft 140lbs, this crap is driving me nuts and these panic attacks seem too be worse then ever, oh and i forgot to mention all this seemed to go down hill after quitting celexa after 3 months, but that has been about 2-3 years ago, i try deep breathing and i pray to god alot, i drink hot tea, i quit caffeeine but i chew snuff, i don't drink, i don't smoke, and i don't do drugs, Thank you everyone and god bless you all and i'm hear to listen to your stories and i can try to help you also, if i'm aloud to give my phone number out to anyone i would just too text and help each other if we ever get a attack to calm each other down i would, i have a gf but she sleeps early and i can't ever sleep :( i hate living like this. Thank You Everyone

Thanks Cat, wow you been on here for a long time and stuck by alot us on here, thank you for that, i had a old name panic attack jack or something years ago when i thought i had aids from sleeping around and i felt so much better getting a negative result, but anyway at first the celexa i was on was 20 mg which i took just half so 10 mg which seemed to help a bit and after about 2 1/2 months i started taking a whole 20 mg celexa and then i started to feel weird and had a really bad panic attack i cant remember if it was was i was on 20 mg or weaning off but ever since the panic attacks are super strong and my mind races 1000 mph, i get worked up over everything my family is like your not the same anymore, but my brother in law had a heart attack about 3 years ago and it being so close to home i watch myself now although he had diabetes really bad and overweight, and i felt so bad and he had another 1 about 3 months ago but he is still living but i become so obsessed over having a heart attack it scary and my mind just don't think right anymore, i also have fibromyalgia and mild asthma but i never had a asthma attack as far as i know, im just afraid of everything anymore especially health related, i talked to a pyscologist a few months ago just twice and she said 99 out of 100 times your thoughts arent real and that kind of helped and stuck with me but idk its been so hard to eliminate negative thinking and obsessing over my health, thanks a million for your help cat and you take care as well :) also i rarely sleep i have bad insomnia.

I can only add this to the good advice you already have, Your doctors have told you countless times that nothing is wrong with your heart, the anxiety and stress you have put yourself through is unnecessary if you don't believe the doctors, don't go. That being said think about this, you have stressed your system to the max, if anything was really wrong with you it would have killed you! You sir are healthy as a marathon runner. Stop rehearsing your death. Thats the one thing you only have to do once, so make it the last thing you ever do. "Yes I do take my own advice, several years ago I was probably worse than you are and I just got sick and tired of being afraid, Live, die once between then and now Live"! Peace

Larry ***

Post Edited (lgm1942) : 9/7/2013 3:00:03 PM (GMT-6)

Thank you all so much for the kind words you are all great :) I appreciate the great advice