All set up, anxious

Well, I finally got everything worked out to go into the hospital, I think. It's not the one I really wanted to go to, but they don't accept my insurance. Honestly, though, the receptionist/clerk/whatever was VERY rude, so it's probably best I'm not going there.

After way more phone calls and paperwork than I was really up to, I think everything is prepared (except packing) and I'm supposed to check in at 11 a.m. tomorrow. I don't know how much of my deductible payments will be processed by tomorrow, but we got our credit line extended on a credit card enough to cover it if needed. ::sighs::

I'll deal with the car when I get out.

My heart is so heavy, though. While I think this is what I need, it's upsetting my family so much.

My daddy cried his eyes out tonight - I've only seen him cry twice in my life - when his father died and on my wedding day.

I texted my brother. I don't know why - I'm just exhausted and overloaded. He called screaming and cussing about "Don't EVER send me an effed up message like that! You CALL me!" and wanting someone to blame so he could beat them up.

::sighs::

I wish I could go in some alternate reality, where I could just be trying to get help and it wouldn't hurt anyone else...

Don't worry about your family worrying about you!! They are grown up and can deal with it.

Your only job at the moment is to take care of yourself...and right now, that simply includes packing and getting to the hospital for treatment.

Get some rest tonight and focus on getting better...nothing else.

We will be here when you can post again.

Prayers!

S.C.