How to help my daughter

I hope I'm in the right forum for this. It was the closest I could find to the problem at hand.

At 18 my daughter went to her Dr and said she thought she needed therapy. That she felt like she wanted to commit suicide.

At this point let me rewind for ya. My daughter has always been a diva. At 13 she lost it for a bit. She claimed a friend of her's cousin (a grown man) had molested her. This came out after said man started to date someone else. She changed her story about 4 times as to what happened. I was never able to pursue it because of this. Everyone that knew the two of them had told me, SHE came on to him. He flirted back, until he found out she was under age. (she has always been overly mature for her age) At that time he told her if she was older it would be different. She also went through a cutting phase. A cat could have done worse to her, and it was always in visible places. She started doing it right after her friend (who was very seriously cutting) who had been molested by her day started. I did and still do believe it was attention based. It stopped fully after I gave notice to it.

Fast forward to 18. On her 18 year check is when she came to the conclusion she needed help. Her doctor sent her to a therapist that is part of their "children/teen group". This therapist more or lest told her to grow up. That she did not have a mental health problem she had a self problem. She did need therapy for her self destruction but not for anything else.
This did not please my daughter. She went to her Dr. and said she hated her therapist and wanted a new one. Granted 2nd opinions can be good, so I did not protest.

First session this woman told my daughter she thought she had borderline personalty disorder. WHAT?? After sitting what an 18 year old for a hour gives you that? Ok.. maybe, but not likely. 2nd session was yesterday. I am floored by what my child was told. So at 2 hours of knowing my child, she thinks she needs to spend 2 weeks at a local mental health hospital. "So she can be around others like her that understand what she is going through"

Mind you, NO ONE has been allowed to go to these sessions with her. She is 18 now and has every right to deny us access. She tells us that she is not allowed to talk about anything that goes on in these sessions.

What do I do here. Does this sound legit, or is it just to get attention. She is such a bright child, with such advantages going for her right now. If I make it known I dont fully believer her ant the therapist is right, I become part of the problem. But if I do believe her and her problem is just attention I'm just feeding it.

Sorry again if this is in the wrong place.

Wow, that's alot to deal with! I have a niece with the same issues. She has always been an attention seeker, but she seeks attention with pathological lying. I think she actually believes her own stories. My sister has always given in to her tall tails because she doesn't want to upset her. She is now 24 and has 3 beautiful daughters. I certainly can't give you much advise, but please know that the people here on healingwell are very supportive, and always ready to help in any way they can. I'm sure someone will be on here that can give you some good advise. I hope that you can sort this all out, and find the help that both you and your daughter need!! Peace, Lisa

She wont share anything, unless its "bad". I have tried to talk to her about it. She tells me time and time again that she cant talk about it.

I try my best to support her. I dont think it would be a bad idea for her to have outpatient help. My fear is this therapist is making things worse.

Hi bella and welcome.

I am really sorry to hear of your daughter's issues, and the confusion and frustration that this is certainly causing you both.

There are certainly possibilities as to a dx or BPD or other mental health issues. My oldest daughter has been dignosed as Bipolar 2, and there are similarities that pop up in reading your account of your daughter's behavior. (attention seeking, becoming angry when other's don't react according to her expectation/will.)

However, only a professional who has worked with her for some time can fully assess the situation and properly diagnose the issue.

I believe that the best move that you can make at this point is to continue to encourage her to go to the therapist. Try not to make any personal judgements or hold opinions as to what is going on...simply support the effort to get help, remaining neutral as possible.

I have to be very careful in how I talk to my own daughter about her issues. Since she was also diagnosed as an adult...it is up to her to own her treatment. I am simply there to be a support system.

That is not to say that I put up any innapropriate behavior on her part towards our family. She knows that there a boundaries and limits as to what we can and do tolerate! However, we are there to help her navigate through the things in life that she finds difficult as a young adult with her issues.

I would encourage you to look into getting educated on the things that her therapist suggests. He/she may not be able to divulge details of what goes on in the session...but if you ask, I am sure that he/she could point you in the right direction as far as what to reasearch.

NAMI would be a good place to start.  http://www.nami.org/

I wish you the best. I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. Post with us anytime.

Scaredy Cat

@Kitt

That was kinda my thought too. There is also the fear there. What if I dont believer her and she hurts herself?? When she first talked to her Dr about the suicidal thought, the Dr wanted her on suicide watch at home until her first apt with the therapist. I had to run to the store for milk or something. The store is like 2 blocks away. The kids walk there all the time for candy and monster drinks. I told her I was going to get, what ever it was I needed, and she lost it. "What if I kill myself before you get back? I'm on suicide watch! I cant be left alone" The next day she came to me crying because none of her friends wanted to come "watch her". They must not care if she lives or dies.

Larry, its more then ok.

To everyone else... She is now telling me I CAN'T go to her next session. I will keep trying.