Panic-fueled excessive guilt

Once I realized that sin/guilt has been paid for and I can't do anything to improve on that then I have been
able to forgive myself. after all if God forgives us we need to forgive ourselves. Peace!

Larry ***

Anne,

Looking for similar answers, here. I have about decided that my panic attacks are triggered by guilt. I was previously treated for depression, as well. I just posted about this a couple of days ago. So, no helpful advice to offer, but definitely a sympathetic ear. :)

Anne,

I had this silly thought about childhood ~ I was rarely really punished. I think my parents thought I punished myself enough. Usually, I had already started crying and apologizing before they figured out I had messed up. So, I guess that's a silver lining. lol

Here's one thing that helps me sometimes. It may make me sound arrogant, but I don't intend it that way. Sometimes, when the guilt is too crushing, I try to remember something good I've done. Kind of balancing karma in my head? For example, if I see a dog that I think is stray and start getting really overwhelmed, I remind myself that I have a bunch of rescued doggies at home. It doesn't fix it, but sometimes it helps.

Everyone does good things. I think it's okay to give yourself credit for good things, as long as you don't get all self-righteous about it. Maybe try to think of some things to put into your "good karma bank"? :-P

Just an update for anyone who searches something similar and hopefully BeRock will see this too.

I was explaining what happens with my anxiety-guilt-confession cycles to a friend and she asked if maybe it could be some sort of OCD. I just though "I don't wash my hands a lot. Nope. Not at all like that."

Then I started getting intrusive thoughts. I happened to search that and found that's connected to a type of OCD. Then found a wealth of information on "confessional OCD"(it's called different things on different sites). It's unbelievable how closely this type of anxiety describes what I (and apparently many other people) go through. It's like a mental hand washing. You obsess over your irrational guilt and then have to confess (that's where the compulsion comes in). From what I've read therapy specific to OCD can be helpful (and giving in and confessing is not).

For me it seems that a period of stress triggers this anxiety and thought OCD which is then followed by a period of a few weeks of depression (which for me is extended by the meds to months or years of low grade depression but without these bouts of guilt). I mention this because I'm always given the dx of "recurring episodes of major depressive disorder" because they consider the guilt to be a part of the depression (which for some people it is). But, there us a school of thought that the ocd can trigger the depression and if dealt with cab prevent a lot of the depressive episodes.

I hope this helps someone dealing with the same thing. It's overwhelming to think that your brain and your conscience are fighting you but it was such a relief to hear that people have successfully dealt with it.

AnneWithAnE,

Good to see you posting in the forum today.  I think you may be onto something and I do hope you discuss this with your Dr./therapist in the near future.

Depression and anxiety go hand in hand, however, many people are not aware that OCD is actually an anxiety disorder.

I have heard this type of anxiety referred to as Responsibility Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  Those with Responsibility OC often will go to great lengths to reassure themselves that they have not inadvertently harmed (or contributed in any way to the harm of) another individual or other individuals through either their actions or their inaction in a given situation.

Individuals with Responsibility OC seek through their rituals to accomplish two goals: to 1) "escape from" from their feelings of guilt and anxiety, and 2) convince themselves -- provide themselves with a sense of certainty -- that they are not terrible human beings and have not ignored the plight of others. In your case, until you confess you are stuck with the feeling of guilt.

CBT therapy is usually the best choice for OCD from what I know.  I hope you have access to therapy or you have checked out our free online CBT therapy program that you can work on from home on your computer.

http://www.moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

Keep on talking with us here in the forum as we all experience anxiety and sharing with one another is a good way to halve your problems.

Kindly,

Kitt

 

Kitt, thanks for the information. Responsibility OCD makes a lot of sense. I had no idea until today that OCD was a type of anxiety. Or that it even somewhat applied to what I deal with.

For me, it definitely feels like it triggers panic when I start feeling guilty.

I think the kind of Cbt that I read that works well for it is called something like exposure and ritual prevention?

I'm definitely going to try out those resources now that I know exactly what to look for.

I'm sick of "confessing" things to my poor husband lol

Hello to you all!
First time on this site as well as messaging. I can't thank you all enough for opening up your personal lives describing what I have been experiencing like Ann all my life. G U I L T over any expectation put on me either from others or myself that wasn't met or perceived not to be. Its no wonder I have been having anxiety and crippling panic attacks since January. They are so horrible and am so glad I found you all who actually understand....really understand. I've been reading several Joyce Myers books, going to counceling, taking my meds but it still happens. I know I haven't learned how to talk positively to myself. As we all know, easier said than done. I wish there weren't so many ignorant people. The senior management at my job of twenty years have not helped at all. Thank goodness for F.M.L.A. (family medical leave act)
I am anxious to start this program. I'm amazed to find all this and its free.
I can really relate to Ann only I have learned to confide in a female friend. I have had issues that I have hidden for some time.
one day at a time and faith.

Thank you all!