I
think, not sure, but I
think, I understand.
See, I'm what's called a water baby.
Even as an infant I was always in the water, under the water, gurgling and playing in the water, and always in the deep end of the pool.
I would seek out waterfalls even in the winter so I could go into the pools below the falls.
I would swim in the ocean year-round, including Fall and Winter and Spring.
I feel most at home in ocean water. I was still in my teens when I swam my first mile in the ocean. I sailed the ocean. I dived. It was tough getting me out (even when my lips were blue and I was chattering).
I'd often drive to the East Coast beaches to indulge in the brisk Atlantic ocean. It made my body and spirit feel better.
I used to live in Plymouth on the beach and I never grew tired of it or accepted it for granted.
We recently moved to NH and we live about 4 houses away from a very large lake.
I must be near water because I feel it feeds like life force, or spirit, or warms my heart,....however you want to put it.
When I lived in Western MA (closer to the NY State border), I would drive over 4 miles one way to go to the ocean. When that wasn't possible, I'd go the Lakes.
Baths and showers, while fun, aren't the same thing as the freedom of being in the water. The salt water always was healing for me as well, and it definitely eased my anxiety.
I would take empty gallon jugs and fill them with ocean water from the Atlantic, use it to rinse my hair and body,....WOW, what a difference. But it wasn't as good as the real thing with the living organisms in the live ocean.
I collected vials of sand from the beaches I went to and when I was anxious, I would play with the sand between my fingers, smell the collection of shells and rocks and sea glass....
Can't emphasize enough how very therapeutic this is.
I'm a short walk to a large, private lake and about an hour drive away from a large beach on the Atlantic Ocean. I'l always need to be by my water. I'm truly at home in the water!
M.