First Post - Panic Disorder

Hello All,

This is my first post here. I will probably ramble through what I have been going through, hopefully I don't make it long and drawn out but cover what is going on.

I have been on Lexapro for the past 5 years or so for depression and it has worked great. At the end of June I was sparring with someone in the boxing ring and got hit in the back of the head, so hard that the guy broke his knuckle. That evening I took a nap at home, upon waking I felt "off" like something was wrong with my sight but nothing exact that I could put my finger on. I worried and worried until I was in a full blown panic attack. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. They did a CT scan an no concussion. They told me it was anxiety and sent me home.

From that day I started having anxiety that would come and go. I would start to feel attacks coming on but they would subside. Then at the end of October I had another one that sent me to the hospital. After this time I felt some derealization, like I was watching my self or in a dream. They gave me some Xanax and sent me home. I decided to go to a psych doctor and he took me off of Lexapro and put me on Citalopram which I took for about a month. I got to some pretty dark places taking that, still felt out of it like things were not real, like I was never myself. I broke down one night and was so upset I called the psych doc and he told me to stop the Citalopram cold turkey. Also said if it got worse, go to the emergency room and he would see me in a week. I felt he didn't handle it like I would expect so I stopped seeing him and went to a regular family doc.

The family doc put me on Lexapro again and gave me more Xanax. I have had some good days, some bad days (today was a real bad day). The bad days, I feel out of it. I wake up with a lump in my throat, I want to sleep all day when I am not working. I feel out of it mentally, stare into space at times (especially after waking) and worry that I am losing it. I have scheduled another psych doc but couldn't get in until end of the month. I am just so tired of feeling all of this. I don't know if the panic attacks were related to the hit in the head, just seemed too odd it was same day that the panic begun. I thought going back on my old friend Lexapro would fix things, maybe what I am feeling now is related to going back on the drug after being off it for so long.

Any help is greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
Chad

Thanks a lot Scaredy Cat. I will take a look at the resources as well. I look forward to the new psych doc, my appointment can't get here soon enough! Sometimes it takes a looong time to get in with one.

Chad

Thanks BeRock. :)

Chad

*meds - also do some deep breathing - in and out of nose :)

Chad, it gets better. It really does.

Three months ago at this time I was in an inpatient treatment center. Right now, I'm at my desk at work taking lunch. It's still not easy, but if that isn't an improvement then I'm a duck. lol

You've got a great support team behind you now ~ my healingwell family has been my rock through this disorder.

Every time you have a success, cling to it. Those small victories add up.

I think for many of us, simply having anxiety itself means our patience isn't necessarily our strong suit. But it is learnable, and like anything else, it takes practice.

Even meds aside, everything involves a commitment if you want it to work. That also includes things like therapy, coping skills, breathing techniques, getting regular exercise and eating healthfully. We cannot do it one or two days and expect...."results."

If we can keep plugging along for the journey, those results sometimes sneak right up on you and before you know it, you're realizing that you're not focusing on that anxiety or laying-in-wait for that panic attack that may or may not come.

When we take meds and choose to live a healthier lifestyle, we get good at what we take the time to practice.

I've personally found this forum to be invaluable. I'm often alone and that can certainly amplify potential triggers. Here on HW, there are people you will come to know and look forward to reading their posts....it's a give and take,....we help and are helped.

Also, here on HW, we do get something very close to "immediate"....because these forums are quite active, and people are here to offer you support at all hours. I'm invested here because the community makes it worth it!



M.