BeRock,
Yes, some a/d's are "activating". Wellbutrin is one example. I became totally obsessed with suicide when I was on that. Pretty much thought about
it 24/7. I didn't want to end my life, but I couldn't get those thoughts out of my head. Doc just kept upping and upping the dose & the higher I went on dose, the worse the round-the-clock thoughts got. It probably didn't help matters that the depression was secondary to a stress disorder that went completely untreated. I saw my neuro & he said with the final increase (that had me on a dose for a 350lb man -- the first pharmacy flat out refused to fill it & told the doctor it was not even close to an appropriate dose for a woman my size) gave me serotonin syndrome. He suggested I talk to the doc, but the doc wasn't willing to listen to reason so I quit on my own. 72 hours later, things went back to normal. I was still slightly depressed & definitely still had the stress disorder, but I was able to think clearly again. That was 5 years ago & I never regretted my decision.
There are plenty of a/d's that are not activating. When you meet with your doctor, you could ask about
that. Here's a link to a list of activating/sedating antidepressants:
primarypsychiatry.com/wp-content/uploads/import/0907PP_Erman_T1_A.gif