Posted 2/17/2014 10:23 PM (GMT 0)
Panda,
I can understand, only too well, many of the things you have described. I'm much the same way. While I am married to a most wonderful Husband, rest assured I had my share of full blown panic attacks while we were dating, and I was terrified I'd scare him off!
One of the most important things is to, first and foremost, be at peace with your anxiety. If you accept them as a transient part of a moment, so will other people around you. Often times, people pick up cues about you, based on how you, yourself, react!
So if your attitude is along the lines of, "Well shucks, here we go again,...this shall pass,"....then those around you are more than likely going to reciprocate. And who knows, in doing so, you may inadvertently be giving other people permission to relax too!
When you see everyone around you enjoying life, bear in mind you are seeing what they want you to see. Most people don't go around with neon signs flashing their fears, phobias, tears, insecurities,... It's behaviour that you are witnessing. Selective behaviour. Just because you don't perceive someone else as an anxious person, does not mean that they are not an anxious person.
Dating aside, a way to practice learning how to get comfortable with your anxiety, and thus your reactions,-- have you considered joining support groups? Groups for anxiety are just one option. Sometimes by helping others in a crisis situation, you realize that more people than you thought also have their own personal demons.
Meeting other people who are letting their guard down in public, in a safe place, is a way to learn how to do the same.
Food for thought,...
M.