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Need to vent..morning anxiety..ugh.

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Posted 2/18/2014 2:45 PM (GMT 0)
Good morning everyone.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ?? )': Stupid morning anxiety. I feel horrible in the mornings. From the time I get out of of bed til night time sometimes I feel horrible. Im sick of this. Dizzy nauseas shaky jittery headache... I never feel well. I was hoping this would just go away soon just as it has in the past , give me some relief, never fully gone, but SOME relief,, and it seems like Im just feeling worse and worse as the days go on. Always tired no energy just always feel like theres something wrong with me. This makes me so upset and frustrated, Im beyond sick of this. I was so happy that I finally *knock on wood* got some relief from the scary heart palps, then its like they're slim to none now and I just totally feel like crap and still as anxious as ever..always shaky and jittery,and the feeling in the back of my head that Im dying from something and the drs.havent found out what it is yet.Every little noise makes me jump..I have a low tolerance/patience for anything at this point,I just want to feel better.Im always sad,crying for no reason,and I know its because of the anxiety and no explanation as to WHY I have these horrible feelings and thoughts.Its almost too much too handle at times very overwhelming and that's what causes the attacks.I wish that my Dr and therapist and psychiatrist could really figure something out to cure me,but I don't think anxiety can really ever be "cured",you're body is going to do whatever it wants,whatever it wants regardless of what youre doing.I guess when your body is ready to change,and give you some relief,thats when it will do so.Thats how I feel anyway,because that's how its been for me in the past.I do realize that its gotten worse ever since November 2012 when I started school.Although I don't feel school is a stress on me too much,I do look back on it coming on even worse than it already was then.But then again on days like today where the weather is so bad that I decide to just stay home from school,and just relax,Im sitting here shaking and am beyond jittery, anxious,nauseas, and just not feeling well at all,and scared, for absolutely no reason at all.Something has GOT to give.I want my life and energy back.Even looking back from the summer time,and last summer which was even better,a HUGE chance in anxiety.It has increased so much.Its crazy how much from one year to another you can change.It makes me sad,it really does.I don't want to "cope" or "deal"with this anymore,i feel like its ruining my body and life and mind )': Im 26 and feel like living with this for the past 11 years has ruined my life,and will continue to do so for the rest of it.With the thoughts running through my head today while I sit here at home,Im just sad today.): I should be happy looking for a new car to buy this week,but I lost interest because Im not feeling well because of the anxiety,and decided to come on here and vent to those who understand!Thanks for listening (-:

Lacey

Posted 2/18/2014 3:32 PM (GMT 0)
Lacey, I totally understand. It's so unfair that so many of us are afflicted with anxiety and panic. It's so hard, unbearable at times. And yes, I find the mornings hardest. I feel so helpless to all these physical feelings sometimes. I look at other people and I wonder how they are NOT anxious all the time. I'm sorry. I don't know how to help, but I can tell you that you are not alone at all.
Posted 2/18/2014 3:56 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for your reply. Its really NOT fair!!! I look at other people ALL the time and I think to myself the SAME exact thing. How are they not anxious..?..and I'm so jealous of everyone who is anxiety free or never experienced or never do experience it!! Sometimes it makes me hate myself. But its not ME,its the anxiety that I hate!! Its so debilitating,Im not sure how Im going to get or a keep a career once I graduate this fall. Im always running out of class and out the door at work now as it is because I get so jittery shaky or feel like im going to pass out with a racing heart or dizziness,I just don't see much of a career with anxiety for me and its the worst feeling EVER.I love school and I cant wait to be working in a hospital or drs.office,but I constantly feel Im not going to be able to do it and it literally makes me sick to my stomach knowing that stupid anxiety is trying hard to ruin my life and doing a good job at it. UGH!!! Its BEYOND frustrating!! I cant even describe the way I feel about it now Im just simply OVER IT.Plain and simple. Thanks again for your reply,Im glad I can come on here and talk to those of you who understand me because in my own personal life,all everyone knows of anxiety is what I tell them,no one really understands,nor will they ever im sure.

Lacey
Posted 2/18/2014 4:54 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Lacey! Believe me, I totally understand how you feel and totally agree with you. When I'm feeling the anxiety, I also look around me at other people living and enjoying life and ask myself the same thing. WHY ME and I just want my life back! It's really hard to understand when you have days you actually feel pretty good and are busy doing things and then suddenly, those feelings come back out of the blue. It can be very upsetting. On a positive note, I think you have more strength in you than you may realize. The fact that you're in school and about to graduate is GREAT! You have persevered enough to study and pass your classes so I have NO DOUBT that you will do great at whatever job you work at. Give yourself credit for accomplishments! Regarding your feelings when you stay home, it is very common, when you're sitting around, to concentrate and obsess over how your body is feeling and your mind can take over, then it becomes a vicious circle. Even when you're home, try to occupy yourself with a good book, watch a movie, just something you enjoy so you're not thinking about your physical feelings. I know it's so much easier said than done, but hang in there. You're stronger than you think and have accomplished a great deal! Let us know how you're doing and feel free to vent here all you want! That's what we're all here for.
Posted 2/18/2014 5:57 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Lacey I've been going through some of the things you have like sad and crying for no reason feeling like something serious is wrong with me I don't feel normal anymore and I wish I did I'm constantly worrying about my heart afraid of getting palpitations again I try to stay as positive as I can and tell myself it's from the anxiety so I feel u if u need to talk IM here to support you we all are hope u feel better
Posted 2/18/2014 7:27 PM (GMT 0)
Lacey,

First of all, dear girl, please cut yourself some slack. At least a little bit! I can tell from your post that you are very upset, extremely anxious, and even angry and feeling robbed of a quality of life that you want. But what I'm also seeing in your post is something else shining through: You've stayed in school and you are going to graduate!

Please take a moment to realize just how many people are so incapacitated by their anxiety, they wouldn't even attempt one of the many things you have done! I hope you can find a way to take inventory of your progress and realize the vast number of folks who are envious of you and admire you greatly for what you have accomplished!

I've had A/P since I was a small child. The attacks would strike, on cue, every day in Science class. I'd raise my hand, tell the teacher I didn't feel very good, and my Mother would come rescue me. Many times between raising my hand, and asking to leave, I would vomit, right there in class. It's tough on anyone, but when you're doing this in early grade school, it sets you up!

I graduated High School 2 years early, but it took me an extra year to finish college because I would dodge classes so often because I was too sick to my stomach, too anxious, too emotional, I didn't cope. I could've cared less about any graduation ceremony,....just get me out of here!

Just like you, I didn't give myself credit for working through the anxiety and I let myself get consumed with all the things I missed, didn't go to, didn't do, could have done earlier,...all those "what if's."

I'm sharing that part of my history with you to show you just how not alone you are.

And, for the record,....my entire adult life, all the jobs I've had were related in one way or another to the Health Field! Go figure! And, guess what? I loved it!

You may well find that this anxiety you feel that is pinning you down, will switch sides as you become more empathetic and sympathetic with patients. It worked that way for me,-- never thought it would. But, you know the saying: My curse is my blessing! ? Now I can look back and appreciate the truth to that!

You are correct. There is no "cure." And spending time looking for one, searching for one, trying every new thing on the block,....can only prolong your wellness. Truthfully, you do need to learn to "cope" with this anxiety. What is your definition of "cope?"

"Coping" is to get on with it, to manage what's in front of you. When you have a challenging class in school, yet stick with it, and learn,...that is "coping." When the traffic is bad when you drive your kid to school, you are "coping" with the circumstances.

Life will always present challenges,--whether they are anxiety, snow, traffic, or a cranky boss. Nothing in life is without struggles. The difference is how you choose to move through the situations, and how you elect to navigate your way through the obstacles we all face.




M.
Posted 2/19/2014 8:06 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Laceymyaalayah Don't Fell bad I have the same thing. I shake and tremble inside my body from the time I get up to the time I go to bed. Its never ending. Some times my chest hurts. My hands hurt and tingle. My thighs to my feet tingle and burn and so doe's my toungue. I feel sick all the time. I am all ways tired and anxious. It doe's not stop. I all ways get the chills,sometimes hot flashes. I can't relax at all it sucks. I have no appetite at all. I get this gooy stuff in my throat. What other symptoms do you have ?Does it feel like when you are trying to do something like anything the symptoms get worse? To me it seems it doe's not want you to do anything. Like it punishes you after doing stuff ? Misty.
Posted 2/20/2014 5:45 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Lacey , like always your writing my story or I'm writing yours , it's like weaver twins , you be checked for everything know to man and so have I , we just got have faith and hope , and keep praying really hard , one day we will be set free , ... Its nothing else .... I'm tired of all the specialist and all the docs , I'm so tired ...
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