Fear of going crazy

i know how you feel about thinking you are going crazy, but believe me i know your not, you may think that we all have different situations and yours is seeming convincing, but trust me i was allmost sure i had schizophrenia when all it was was that my head was working too hard, i developped anxiety from too many tylenol cough and cold, and that brought on worried thoughts, the delusions you think you have, are just from knowing too much about actual crazy people believe me, i sometimes get the thoughts, but then i think im schizophrenic because of them, its because i know that they would mean im schizophrenic, that they are truely not delusions, they dont stop me from doing things, like eating, because its only when im at my peak of worrying about them that they hit me, and believe me i was at my peak for months worrying about the same thing, i even managed to bring on the hearing voices in thought symptom, trust me, nothing could be more scary then being sure your going crazy, i just sometimes need to chill out and realize that there are times that im not thinking one bit like this, at the start it was very hard because i was experiencing these feelings everyday, and i was never relaxed, but trust me, i hope my experiences can show others that they are not going crazy they just think they are,  as for seeing things, your mind can do that too, i dont mean full complex images but quick images, not lasting long. I know im not supposed to give advice but i feel that it would be making me a bad person to realize i could dim someones suffering and not do anything to help, if you want to talk more about your symptoms of this fear i would love to help support you in any way i can  feel free to add me on msn.

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Thanks take care

Lyn

Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 10/13/2006 4:15:19 AM (GMT-6)

Hey everyone.

         All you guys seem to be in the same situation as me and it helps greatly knowing im not alone! I have actually been panic attack free for a couple of years but fear of going insane is such a dominating thought in my mind lately. I managed to overcome my panic attacks under strange circumstances i guess. I was under intense anxiety from a completely change in my life- relocation new school etc. My anxiety about all the things going on in my life seemed to distract me from my anxiety about anxiety.. and my attacks suddenly ceased- i guess thats the opposite of the norm.          

        I am currently away at uni studying medicine funnily enough which is NOT a good idea with my anxiety history lol. I have recently studied schizophrenia etc and i spent a lot of time reading journals etc on mental illness. This initially brings me comfort because i can cross off the list of symptoms for schizophrenia. However, i find my mind tryign to create the symptoms to freak me out, grrr. Ive imagined hearing sounds going to sleep, i thought i heard whispering 1 day but im sure its my brain playing tricks on me could very easily have been the wind in the trees etc.

       One thing that I take comfort in the fact that it is almost a HALLMARK symptom of schizophrenia that the patient does not know that they have a problem. If you think you are going insane then you most probably ARENT. Most people think that docs are rock solid mentally but i know of a few fellow students who suffer from panic attacks etc and there are a lot of hypochondriacs e.g. 'OH MY GOD i got tearing pain in my chest i must have an aortic dissection!' hehe

   Anyway, the point is that all walks of life suffer from problems like this and its not easily solved, but if you find ways that help YOU manage thats the first step towards retaking control of your life and truely being at peace again. And beleive me, it is possible!

Good luck all xxx

I agree with Sammatt....I use the same method to get them to stop... I simply say STOP or "these thoughts are not mine" and it puts end to it..the more I do this the less frequent the cycle becomes.  Doing math problems or counting backwards helps too.

Hi

My name is Kate and Panic attacks run in my family. I have had them since I was in my mid teens.  I am now 61 and doing well. I have experienced the same thoughts in the past of going crazy.  Also compulsive behavior can accompany this.  This is what I have learned.  I am very sensitive to my inviroment and have sensitive feelings about things.  I have allergies to foods and who knows what in this world.  All of this over taxes our physical systems.  It's reaction is to give you panic attacks.  It is only a warning that we need to slow down or learn how to control things around us.  I watch my diet.......I don't eat anything much with caffiene.......I take my vitamins, this is to give my system the best chance to cope.  There is a wonderful program that you can get called Attacking Anxiety. This program was developed by Lucinda Basset and a doctor.  Lucinda lost her job and husband because of suffering from panic attacks.  She had trouble leaving home to go to work or shopping and etc.  She now travels around the world talking to people about this disorder. She has fully recovered and really knows how to do it.  You can read about her at  This program teaches us how to control the things around us that cause the stress.  Check it out.  I also have found for my self that vitamin B complex does alot to calm the nerves.  For me shaklee's B complex works the best.  I hope this helps you and the best to you. 

Kate

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Thanks you can put your email addy in profile and then pass it along to anyone that requests it

You take care

Lyn 

Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 10/13/2006 4:18:24 AM (GMT-6)

Anxiety, I think, must be attacked from all sides. Counseling helps, so do medicines, exercise, small talks, and lifestyle changes. Take out uncertainities from life as much as possible. Cover your behind with adequate insurances, savings and support circle. Don't bite off more than you can chew and we will all feel better before we have made it through this list. Nature has hard-wired all life to survive so all we need to do is take off the extra burden we may have added to our lives. And even though ambition and drive are good, life is short and it simply ends without a trace so whether we win or lose the rat race, its still a rat race.

Wow what a great and supportive thread ive missed. Welcome all, this very informative thread has a lot of new people talking, that is wonderful. I have had p/a for 5 years, and i still sometimes think im going crazy, but i have gotten much better at talking myself out of them, I agree with Sammatt also, But, sometimes it is easier said than done ;) One day at a time is all i can at this moment, but i will tell you this, there are some great people here that will make you feel at ease, its helped me greatly. THank you and welcome again to all.
shell

Welcome frodo.

I like the karate kid quote. Its spot on.

Most mental health professionals will tell you if you THINK you are/are going crazy you probably arent. Crazy people do not know they are crazy (and probably dont think it)

I have been suffering from PD and some agoraphobia for 2 years now. The last week I have been breaking down and crying a lot. Tonight my sleep has been broken just like in the past. on and off. I am SO worried about going crazy. The stress makes my tummy hurt beyond belief, forcing my to run to the washroom in the middle of the night. I broke down crying at 2 am tonight and clung onto my sleeping b/f for dear life. I am so afraidd when I go through this, except it doesn't exactly feel like just a Panic attack the way I have them in stores and outside the home. Often at home I go through these weird majorly depressive moments, where I am still consumed by terrible fear and a major sense of impending doom. I just feel like I should be going to the hospital at those moments. I worry about being bipolar, because my brother suffers from something like it. I can't say for sure that I have ever been manic, but the lows I have been feeling ever since one of these awful 'episodes' at home make me worry I am going through some weird depressive psychosis. My b/f says there is nothing of the sort. Yet it seems far too intense to just be a bout of normal depression that can accompany PD sometimes. I am SO afraid, and I don't want to go and ask for heavy meds if it's just all in my head in the end. In addition, I am absolutely terrified of taking medication. Sometimes I feel I am not even thinking any awful thoughts about going crazy and then this anxiety creeps up or a major moment of depression where I just break down and then am freaked out and scared for my life! It's hard because I feel bewildered during these moments sometimes, and I worry that I am in some other realm and will lose control. I don't know what to do. I have ativan to take when I am terribly anxious or panicked, but when I feel this 'high' the last thing I want to do is take a sedative. I really need reassurance or some advice, please... I just don't understand how I can be a bit nervous because of not sleeping, for example, then decide to get up and have a smoke, change my focus, go to use the washroom, and as I am about to lay down again- I break down big time! I just start crying and feeeling SO afraid! There is definitely always FEAR and major TERROR linked to each of these doomed moments. I just don't understand myself lately, perhaps they are panic attacks accompanied with depression, but the intensity is so severe because I am ay home (apparently my 'safe place') and I often see no triggers. I just needed to express myself and plead for help. I am so tired of feeling so hopeless and like I need to be I have been suffering from PD and some agoraphobia for 2 years now. The last week I have been breaking down and crying a lot. Tonight my sleep has been broken just like in the past. on and off. I am SO worried about going crazy. The stress makes my tummy hurt beyond belief, forcing my to run to the washroom in the middle of the night. I broke down crying at 2 am tonight and clung onto my sleeping b/f for dear life. I am so afraidd when I go through this, except it doesn't exactly feel like just a Panic attack the way I have them in stores and outside the home. Often at home I go through these weird majorly depressive moments, where I am still consumed by terrible fear and a major sense of impending doom. I just feel like I should be going to the hospital at those moments. I worry about being bipolar, because my brother suffers from something like it. I can't say for sure that I have ever been manic, but the lows I have been feeling ever since one of these awful 'epidsodes' at home make me worry I am going through some weird depressive psychosis. My b/f says there is nothing of the sort. Yet it seems far too intense to just be a bout of normal depression that can accompany PD sometimes. I am SO afraid, and I don't want to go and ask for heavy meds if it's just all in my head in the end. In addition, I am absolutely terrified of taking medication. Sometimes I feel I am not even thinking any awful thoughts about going crazy and then this anxiety creeps up or a major moment of depression where I just break down and then am freaked out and scared for my life! It's hard because I feel bewildered during these moments sometimes, and I worry that I am in some other realm and will lose control. I don't know what to do. I have ativan to take when I am terribly anxious or panicked, but when I feel this 'high' the last thing I want to do is take a sedative. I really need reassurance or some advice, please... I just don't understand how I can be a bit nervous because of not sleeping, for example, then decide to get up and have a smoke, change my focus, go to use the washroom, and as I am about to lay down again- I break down big time! I just start crying and feeling SO afraid! There is definitely always FEAR and major TERROR linked to each of these doomed moments. I just don't understand myself lately, perhaps they are panic attacks accompanied with depression, but the intensity is so severe because I am ay home (apparently my 'safe place') and I often see no triggers. I just needed to express myself and plead for help. I am so tired of feeling so hopeless and like I need to be institutionalized and babied all of the time. Please help. *Even now I am worried that because I am typing this at 4:23 am and my thoughts are pouring out, that I may be hypomanic right now or something*. Ahhh, Help! Please. Thank you all.

Post Edited (Magaroo) : 10/20/2006 2:36:49 AM (GMT-6)

Thank you for your reply.  Wow, I was SO tired and scared as I wrote that yesterday, no wonder my thoughts were pouring out.  Btw, I am so sorry for the miscommunication, but my b/f is very supportive about the PD, he just doesn't think I am mentally ill nor that there is such a thing as spontaneous moments of 'depressive psychosis'...  He does have a point. LoL.  Thanks a lot anyways, take care. bye.

Ps.) My ativan is for PD yes.

 

Also,  I am so glad I found this place.  It's just been such a long journey already, and just as I am getting better for weeks at a time, I often tend to have setbacks and those change my mind state from positive to negative all over again.  I know I shouldn’t see these setbacks as failure, instead I should see them as opportunities for growth.  I will try and practice that more often.  It's just hard you know (of course you do), because one moment your life is in place, the next you are living in Panic and Fear nearly everyday of your life.  When your home is no longer acts as your 'safe place' it gets really tough, because where do you escape to then, right?  I'm 22 years old and really confused and unsure of myself.  One thing I was always good at in the past was being truly comfortable being with myself, that feeling has since disappeared.  I really want to be a better g/f for my b/f, offer him more laughs and smiles again.  I'd like to take care of him for once, he has proven to be a Prince for a while now and I have to say that in this way I am truly blessed.  I hope you all know I am here for you as well.  Btw, I just wanted to add that I have gone to the psychiatrist a while ago and he diagnosed me with an anxiety disorder, and then a few months later bumped that up to a Panic disorder.  He is definitely correct in his diagnosis, and even thought he told me that I am not bipolar- yet somehow I can't seem to shake that fear off though.  It's sad too because when I get happy at times now, there are moments when I will take that away from myself because I am worried that may indicate a manic state.  I practically live my life by walking one eggshells- if I don't cry today, that means it's less than what is needed to be considered majorly depressed- etc... I land up bottling my emotions up, and then hitting rock bottom.  I know I should just let myself feel what I need to be feeling at a given moment, but I just have this strongest urge to be in control at all times.  I think that I tend to forget that while I suffer from PD, I am still human and other things still go on in my life that may cause me stress or insomnia, etc.  I want to stop judging myself, I just haven't found a way to do so yet.  I know I am rambling now, but maybe it will help someone else here feel that they aren't as alone.  Maybe it will help people see that while out situations/disorders/struggles all may have a similar name, all our cases our quite complex in the end, because we are so uniquely beautiful and different.  Above all, we are human!  Thank you all so much for your replies, it means so much to me.  Even as I write this now I feel quite bewildered, high or even perhaps a slight sense of 'derealization' but I know it'll be okay now.  My emotions are stable and I feel okay, I am trying to remember that anxiety and stress can do extremely weird things to our bodies and for different lengths of time.  I need more sleep, last night was hard and my sleep was broken all night.  I will try and stay positive and calm, and I hope you all will too.  Let's fight all of this together.  We will persevere. XoooX.~

I understand how you feel about the fear of developing schiz, i too experience the same fear among other thoughts. I just finished watching a documentery about a guy who had schiz and of course my anxiety kicked in and i began to worry. Reading all of the replies helps me realize i am not alone in this battle. Does anyone ever get really bad anxiety after they watch a violent movie, news story, or hear about a violent situation? If so how do you handle it? 

sThis is a quote that has always helped me, when times were rough.  I hope it helps you too.

"IF YOU WORRY, YOU DIE.  IF YOU DON'T WORRY, YOU DIE.  SO WHY WORRY?"

 

-an arctic explorer.

(probably lost a couple toes here and there.)

 

sleep on it, kiddies.

FaithNotFear

 

Hun I don't have a panic disorder but I do have fibro, anxiety and depression so mind usually is not working right but I know I'm not crazy. Sometimes I think all this stuff in my head will drive me crazy but I'm still me...lol.

 

I do think we are more in tuned with what is going on around us because we think everything thru. I fought this alone for 5 years after being dignosed with no meds or nautral remidies but finelly gave in 5 months ago and started being treaded with meds because I was only getting 2 to 3 hours of sleep at night and no naps in the day which made everything worse.

 

The meds are working great since they got me on the right dosage which has taken a bit of time but I do feel I have hope again.

 

I would like to welcome you and all the other new members who have joined us here at HW and has responded to your post. Great support everyone.

I am going through a really bad breakup with a very abusive man from another country where woman are not treated with much respect or compassion. I stayed with this man for a long time because, outside of all of the horrible abuse, he was very kind and supportive about my OCD. He grew up a war child and SHOULD have PTSD. He would remind me about the rest of the world and remind me I am strong and he would help me work through the obsessive thoughts of going crazy. Strangely enough, I also feel that the stress from our relationship brought on a lot of my panic and fearful throughts.
I am trying so hard not to contact him during this difficult time. It is so hard to be alone while my thoughts of going crazy and winding up in an insane asylum are going through my head. I recently lost my business and am looking for a job. I have always been very successful and now have this horrible fear that I will not be able to work because of the OCD and PD when, in fact, it has never debilited me in the past. No one lese seems to understand so I am thankful for this site and knwong I am not alone.
Also, I am tapering off of my meds right now and have no Behavioral Health Insurance. I have been on SERZONE and LORAZEPAM for 5 years. I am down to almost nothing and can not tell if I am experiencing side effects form the tapering or if my PD and OCD are getting worse. I am plagued with the thoughts that I will be alone forever because no-one wants a woman with a mental problem even though I am pretty, loads of fun and (in the past) have been very successful. I ony get these episodes maybe 1X per year . . BUT MY GOS THERY ARE HORRIBLE!!!
I am so afraid to have kids becausew I am afraid I will expereince the "after birth" schizophrenia that woman can get.
This just really sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!
Does anyone have any experience or hopeful words about tapering off of the meds or any other concerns I have????
Has anyone been attached to an abusive person only because that person deals with their OCD and PD??
Thanks!!