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Hello, I am shanel 21yo from singapore.
Have been suffering from depression and anxiety for almost a year now.

It all started 2 months after I gave birth to my son last year.
It was post natal depression and a little bit of anxiety so I took anti depressant for 8 months and finally came off it on dec 2013.
Anxiety became worse one month after stopping medications which is jan 2014.

How can my life be this bad? ):
I was just feeling all happy and good that I don't have to take medications anymore and panic attack have to hit me..

After giving birth, I haven't been able to head out and enjoy myself fully thanks to all the panic attack.
My husband loved me lesser because I couldn't overcome my fear of the panic attack. We have been quarreling a lot too ):
I couldn't play nor take care of my son myself.
Can't do anything at all.
Like a paralyzed person just lying on bed.
I know I should have helped myself but with 2 months of constant panic attack (5-6 times a day), the fear of it became so strong that I can't..

Tried overdosing for the first time few weeks back and woke up to my crying parents and my son who wasn't aware of anything, smiled upon seeing me. It was such a foolish act of impulse. I swear I will never do it again so I am looking online to see which works best but it seems like it all depends on individually (><)

I am now waiting for 12th march for my appointment with the psychiatrist again.
When I was hospitalize, they gave me chlorpromazine hcl 25mg 3 times a day and mirtazapine orodispersible 15mg every night. It works fine when I was in the hospital. But it no longer works after I came home. I was all anxious again.
Doc told me to take chlorpromazine when necessary but since it didn't work, I didn't.
I still take mirtazapine every night but it seems to stop working 3 days back.. No longer makes me sleepy anymore. Does this happen to anyone here too? Should I increase my dosage?

I am thinking of requesting the doc to do a ECT for me.. I want to forget those fear.. Even tho it depends on individual, I am willing to try anything that can erase my memory so that I can lead a normal life again. Anyone have experience in this too?

Would really appreciate all replies. 😊

Post Edited (Shanelyeo) : 3/1/2014 8:23:38 PM (GMT-7)

I am on mitrzapine and it is amazing. I would suggest talking to you psychiatrist before upping your does on your own. I take 30 mgs at night and it works great. If you stopped taking it between the hospital and just recently sometimes the sedative effect isn't as potent as the first time. I definitely would NOT increase your dose before consulting with your dr first. Mirtzapine is a great drug at least for me and many others. It does have a tendency to poop out on you and then kick back in. It takes about two to four weeks depending on your body for it to reach full effect. I don't know about the other drug that much to have an input but the mirtzapine usually does very well with most people and less side effects of the other ad drugs ssris etc

S.,

Good to know that you are continuing to get help from your psychiatrist. I hope that it is helping you along in your recovery process!

I believe that the only difference in your Rx change is in the manufacturer. Ask your doctor for sure, but it seems that the only difference is in who is making the drug.

Some people who are especially sensitive to changes, have noted that they like one manufacturer over another, and can tell a difference when they are switched...

...so to be on the safe side, if you are concerned, ask your doctor about why there is the change in your prescription, and whether or not you can stick with what you have been currently taking.

Wishing you the best! Let us know how your upcoming appointment goes.:)

S.C.

Thanks sc and kitt for the info.
It seems like it is not working for me. I had my eyes closed but couldn't sleep at all. Now I am panicking because the next appointment is 6 weeks later ):

Hello,
Sorry to hear about your sufferings. Recovery takes a little effort. I have been there and the most important part of recovery for me has to be books from Dr Claire Weekes. Her method really works and I found are copied by many other books or program.
Try it and you persevere for a few weeks you will feel much better and normal.
in fact shd be easier for u since u only suffered for a year.
Good luck.

Hi,
Welcome to the page. I'm sorry to hear about your circumstances. I just turned 22 and I've been dealing with anxiety a full 2 months now. It's not easy to deal with. You're going to have good days and you're going to have bad days and you're going to have days where life seems simply impossible. I don't have a child of my own but I have a niece and nephew and I know how demanding and stressful babies can be. Take it one day at a time, that's all you can do. Don't fret over simple things and try to let the stress roll off with positive attitudes. Talk to your doctor's about increasing your dosage but I would give the medicine a little more time and if it doesn't work then I would definitely recommend talking to your door about an increase or a switch. I'm on Zoloft and so far it's been helping a lot, but not everyone reacts the same to medicines so I hope you find something that works for you. Good luck, stay strong :)

Thanks for the welcome. A bit about myself. I had panic attacks real bad 15 years back. I was consumed by it and was having panic attacks daily. I developed agoraphobia, anticipatory anxiety, various phobias etc. Through learning more about it, it started to improve greatly and is now manageable, mostly with no medication. Because it was so quite bad and for quite long I am still haunted by certain situations but 95% of the time, I'm close to normal. Meds may be helpful but true recovery shd be based on rest, change in attitude, eating well, but mostly understanding the illness. For example,
1. Get a health check to know it is not due to health reasons but anxiety
2. Hence, the horrible feelings will not kill you. For example, You will find it hard to kill yourself trying to hold your breath so the breathlessness though uncomfortable will not kill u.
3. You will not go crazy. I shd know cos I had felt like I did many times but I'm still ok.
4. The attacks are temporary together with the horrible feelings. Eventually it always passes so bear with it telling yourself to let it work its course and not fear or fight it.
5. You can't stop it coming so when it does just let it come and go. Dun feed it or be afraid of it and it will pass. Dun fear it and it becomes less severe and less often.
6. Keep yourself occupied. The idle mind is the playground of the devil. If it comes when u r doing something, try to focus and continue your task and let it pass. It will pass if u dun think about it and fear it.
7. After a horrible, depressing setback, dun beat yourself up or get too affected by it. Just put it behind and move on. There will always be setbacks but never forget your progress.

Needs practising but if you persevere and dun give up in spite of setbacks, u will feel better within days or weeks. I wished I knew these earlier and I would have suffered less and recovered better. So my sincerest best wishes to those who are struggling to get well.

Remember it is just horrible feelings. Let it come, accept it when it comes and watch it go. After some times when it knows u dun make a big fuss of it noelr fear it, it visits less often, less intensity and less duration.