Relapse

Yesterday I can say was one of the best days of my life! I love shopping and that's what I did all day. It was great. I was me again. Care free and full of energy. I was so happy, but then I went to bed. I started thinking maybe I was going back to my normal old self. I fell asleep happy but when i woke up at 3 in the morning all hell broke loose. I realized, my thoughts were no longer preoccupied. I felt my heartbeat pick up in pace. I was shaking so hard, and my muscles and my chest just clinched tightly. I reached over for my pills but the bottles were empty. I forgot I had no more. So I just sat on my bed and let it happen. Tried to focus on my breathing. Tried to think about positive happy things. Like the kitten I plan on getting and the trip to New York I have coming up. After 2 hours I finally felt fine, but sleep was impossible. So I wrote in my journal for the rest of the night. Thought up poems and wrote 27 in my journal, literally. It helped because around 6 this morning I was finally too tired to worry about my anxiety.
This is my relapse story from last night. I know I'm not the only one who has ever had this happen to them. Please share with me. Not feeling alone is the best copping skill I have right now.

I agree with Merrida! Let's look at the positives here...

You were able to have a great, anxiety free day...with an enjoyable reprieve from worries. If that has happened once, you know that it can happen again. As you progress in fact, this will become the norm...not the exception.:)

When you did start to have a hard time and realized that you did not have your medicaiton...you used your coping skills to get you through! That is really amazing, and something you should be proud of.:)

Everyone has up and down days, as this tends to be a chronic condition. I no longer have anxiety attacks...but I do not consider myself 'cured' from anxiety. I have to practice my skills, and manage my anxiety daily.

Some of those days are a breeze...and others not so much!

Know that this is a normal part of the journey, and it is how you dealt with it that counts!!

You are stronger now, than at any point in your recovery for getting through last night.:)...and you have a bunch of new poems...bonus!

Keep up hope!

S.C.

Thank you. I never really saw it that way. I guess I thought my day was ruined because in the end I had an anxiety attack but the fact that I did have a good day is a plus. Thank you for opening my eyes to that. I hope I get my kitten soon, I need to take care of. New York is absolutely amazing. I can't wait to go. I'll try to focus on positive things from now on. Maybe I should start another book about my anxiety. It'll get my mind off of things.

I definitely will Scaredy Cat lol