Hi I am new to the forum and it said to introduce yourself. I am a mom of 6 children and have been married 17 years. I live outside of a small town in Montana.
My journey with anxiety began during my last pregnancy at the age of 32. I did not know what it was.. just felt like I was losing it.
Unfortunately I didn't get much support from my Dr on how to deal with it. Thru the use of a little counseling and a Dr. at naturopathic clinic I was able to feel more like "myself" in about 3 months after she was born.
The second episode of panic and major anxiety occurred after we moved 500 miles to buy a business/land of 80 acres and home (it was our dream )and they refused to close escrow. It took 2 weeks to reach a settlement out of court. We came back home lost and without an income (my husband had closed his business down). The panic attacks started again out of the blue at the dentists office when I was getting a filling down (felt like I fell of the table, when I didn't and started panicking) Had two more at home that week. One when I was just sitting at the computer.. felt myself "shift" sideways and feel lightheaded.. went into a major panic attack where I felt bewildered and completely out of it. I crawled my way out of that 2nd episode with some natural supplements, a lot of determination, and facing my fears. I ended up losing about 20 lbs.
I am in the middle of episode #3. The anxiety never really went away from the 2nd episode, but it got to the point where I could function at least (drive, clean, be alone, care for kids, enjoy life for the most part.. but the anxiety was always lurking at a low level that would occasionally flair). Episode #3 has been severe. My husband and I went thru a move again for a new job..issues with our 2 of our children erupted and a major one with my husband and I involving the police(domestic).
We were separated for 5 months in a town where I literally knew no one. We are now back in our old home again all as a family. I had horrible panic and anxiety in the other town. I had to FORCE myself to grocery shop and function cause I was alone. I felt weak and terrified most of the time.. like I was a the edge if you know what I mean. I started to develop some weird thoughts that would scare me... about the earth, space. strange stuff. I think I focused on that because I couldn't deal with my life.
My main symptoms this time around is weakness, severe lightheadness, sudden feeling of faintness (can be severe), feeling like I need to eat frequently, trembling, shaking, confusion, things can seem brighter or at odd angles (not sure how else to describe) and I feel like I am walking on a rolling ship and occasionally like I could fall sideways. At times it feels hopeless.. its been going on this severe since Jan but the other was from about Nov on I know this is long. but I would love to reach out to others for support. My family tries to understand but they can't really. Even riding in the car is a mental battle due to symptoms. Forget shopping right now. I hear of my friends doing things I used to do and it makes me feel worse. I want to feel strong and independent. My family just wants me to feel better. They have at times ridiculed me for it (mainly my 2 teens and husband). I am sure this is their frustration coming out- but it still hurts deeply..
Being told your a freaking phsycho is not uplifting. I have heard "just get over it" and "pull yourself up" too many times. "What is your problem, you use to be able to do that?" "You are really afraid of the store?" "Your not making sense. there is nothing to be afraid of, I think you need a physchologial evaluation" I am pretty sure what they would say already... panic disorder, agoraphobia.. I have a hard time with household chores (so weak) and any little stressor will send me into the beginning of panic. Right now I am taking vit c, fish oil, b vitamins, a supplement for adrenal glands.. my dr recently wanted be to try bio identical progesterone in case it was related to perimenopause (im 37) as it gets more severe when I have my period. I have been resorting to using a small dose (.25) of Xanax in am the last few days... cause I end up on the couch all day with out it-- I feel so sick.
I have had extensive blood work done and my thyroid was fine. Any ideas for me? Also I would love to do CBT counseling but live in rural area. Any online counselors out there? I have insurance. Thank you and God Bless everyone. I really wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. 
Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 4/10/2014 8:21:21 AM (GMT-6)