Fear of Death

Hi you'll:
I'm a 77 yr old, retired pediatrician, in pretty good health. I am an anxious person, and have had a couple of episodes of panic attacks, during and after a very painful divorce.
I'm having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that very soon probably I'll be dead. I love life a lot. My family, my "world", the many things I like to do, see and feel.
I like to see new things, new inventions, new frontiers. To see my only granddaughter grow, go to college, have kids, etc. etc.
In other words, I hate to leave this world.
I know this sounds very selfish, of course. I keep very busy, I take music lessons, language lessons, play tennis, do weights, etc. etc. I've been in some plays also
I hear that many people say they're ready to "go"...that they're satisfied with the life they have had.
I'm not, and probably never will be.
I worked very hard during my working years and find that there are so many things I missed doing before. I'm doing them now, but I have a long way to go yet.
I don't believe in the afterlife, therefore I don't have that consolation.
Anyway, I'm here mostly opening my "heart" to you guys...
I'd like to hear what other folks think about this.
locolindo

How about a bucket list? (You can always add things to it as you go along).

There's a difference between 77, in a nursing home, hooked up to monitors no one is watching and relying on nurses to give you medicine that are always late, and having "PT" scheduled for you in group sessions where you pretty much do nothing so long as they can bill their hours. It's also where many PT's and OT's go right out of school to do externships because, (this was told to me by someone in the position, take it as you will, but fewer people will complain, be cognizant of errors made, less pushy and more timid....

I could go on but I think you get the gist of the horrendous list she shared with me,....a list which disgusted her to the same degree. My worse care has always been in nursing homes-slash-rehab facilities. Rude, mean, and careless.

However, it sounds like you are quite in possession of your faculties, and with a giant list ahead of you of things you'd like to get done! I say begin that bucket list, and add to it every single time something new and exciting crosses your mind that you'd like to add. And, as they say, go for it!





M.

I also have a fear of death. It has taken many forms over my 50+ years here. I had an experience last summer that really put my fear to the test. I won't go into details, but it shocked me enough to literally push me to the brink of thinking I was going crazy. After I got through the worst of it, I had a realization that my fear of death was a cover for my own regrets in life. I had a lot of regret. I don't know if this makes any sense to anyone, or if it even helps, but I think that if you focus on present day, whether it's the present day, hour, minute, or even second, you can relish life as it is presented to you. We all have regret. And I think many wish they could turn back the clock. To me, time is my true enemy as I never seem to have enough. With that, stop to smell the roses. Make a stranger smile. Laugh. Love. Live.

Also...here are some good book recommendations that come from our Resource section. I believe either the second or third one has a chapter specifically on the fear of death/dying.

Books for overcoming Health Anxiety:

http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1379950432&sr=1-1&keywords=Feeling+Good%3A+The+New+Mood+Therapy+by+David+D.%2C+M.D.+Burns

http://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Health-Anxiety-David-Veale/dp/1845298241

http://www.amazon.com/Treating-Health-Anxiety-Cognitive-Behavioral-Approach/dp/1572309989

S.C.

Hi there locolindo!
Welcome to the way more of the world feels than you think is possible!! Please do not feel like the Lone Ranger... :)
I guess I am a little taken aback by anyone that doesn't believe in an afterlife... because life is constant.
I think you have to get past religion or a belief in the not-too-appealing biblical god to believe that real GOOD exists... and this is the usual cause of fear of death...fear of that horrid god. But that apparently is not tripping you up. Maybe....???
I think you sound like a WONDERFUL person and I SO ADMIRE all the things you do. I am a year younger than you and you have inspired ME by all your activities.
I just want to say Please do NOT be afraid to die... you see, we all have this 'secret' fear of not really being good enuf and what if 'religion' is right!! ...I was raised via fear and guilt conditioning (religiously) and it took SO many years to let it go. I am a nowmetaphysical person and believe we create our own reality. I don't know if its 'legal' for me to recommend books here, but you sound very intelligent and I would really hope you would read either The Nature of Personal Reaiity ...or...Seth Speaks.... (or both! )