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Am I losing my mind?

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Posted 5/1/2014 7:24 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Everyone,

I have been on Zoloft 150 mg for 16 days now for depression and anxiety but I have not felt it kick in yet and I keep feeling like I am detached from my thoughts and who I am. It is a really weird feeling and very scary, I am finding it hard to get out of bed in the morning because I feel so spaced out.

It is really hard to explain how I feel, I have read about people who feel like they get detached from their bodies and they are looking at themselves from the outside but I dont feel like that. I just feel like I am living in a dreamlike state and feel zoned out like I am going to lose touch with reality but I havent yet.

I have had two times like this in the past where I had a bad anxiety attack out of nowhere and then the next couple of weeks it felt like my brain was not working correctly but it usually only lasted two weeks max but this time it just keeps coming back and I cant help but think I am going crazy.

For the record, I dont hear or see things that or not there, neither do I have any thoughts that are out of the ordinary, I know exactly what I am doing but I just feel like I am not in sync with my own brain.

Please tell me I am not the only one that has ever felt this way.
Posted 5/1/2014 7:53 PM (GMT 0)
I have had this for the last week. I am so scared of going crazy/loosing my mind. I went to see my doc today and told them this. She said that she has heard so many people with anxiety say this and it's because of the constant tension and high alert switch the brain is on... She said just to get some rest, a long sleep and try not to stress.

This is common with anxiety and I have had it soo many times. I often pace around the flat and cry, convinced I am loosing my mind...

I know it's easier said than done but try taking some time to do something you enjoy or find relaxing... Green tea or warm milk helps me :)
Posted 5/1/2014 7:57 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there,

Thank you for replying :)

I just feel so disorientated and not connected to reality although I know exactly what is going on and I am not having any thoughts out of the norm.

I read a book called 'At last a life' and it really helped me understand that anxiety can cause some really scary symptoms and we make things worse ourselves when we keep worrying because it is feeding the cycle but how do you stop worrying when you feel so disconnected to the outside world?

I am praying so much that these anti-depressants kick in asap.
Posted 5/1/2014 8:42 PM (GMT 0)
Hey!

No problem, I know how scary anxiety can be. I have had every symptom and worry in the book. It causes things that you would never think it could... I often feel confused and disorientated, like I am not myself, can't concentrate or think properly. I have a fear of going crazy... It's a horrible feeling... It stops me from going out :(

What anti depressant are you on?
Posted 5/1/2014 8:44 PM (GMT 0)
Glad to know I am not the only one lol

I am on Zoloft/Sertraline 150mg but only been on it for just over two weeks and it has not kicked in yet.

Which one are you on and does it help? How long did it take to kick in?

Many thanks

Sean
Posted 5/1/2014 8:54 PM (GMT 0)
Hey there Sean, i get that feeling all the time, almost feels like life isnt real and your in a daydream, and i aint taking anything for my anxiety.
Dont worry about it cause its normal to feel like this when the fear is on you, think of it as your mind trying to lift you from the fear into a different place, i have learned to actually appreciate this feeling as it takes my mind of the inane things i obsess about.
Hope you feel better soon,
from your friend in Ireland!
Posted 5/1/2014 8:58 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Everstar,

Thank you for comments.

The thing is I am unable to lead a normal life right now because my head is all over the place. I cant enjoy the things I used to or concentrate as I am always aware of how I am feeling in my mind so I cannot pay attention to anything for long. I try to go to friends and spend time with them but I feel like I cant keep up a conversation sometimes as I am so aware not feeling right.

I would do anything to get rid of this feeling...

How are you by the way?
Posted 5/1/2014 9:50 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Sean, im not great, but im tired of being beaten by this, so im just ploughing through and hoping for the best.
The reason you feel like that with your friends is because your mind is preoccupied with your fear, its like a merry go round, the more you fret about these things, the worse they become, im trying to train my mind to embrace the fear and understand it, its been hard, but i have had some great results so far and im ready for more.
Posted 5/1/2014 10:06 PM (GMT 0)
Are you reading any books for it Everstar?

I am just reading one now about using CBT to get rid of feelings of depersonalization and feelings of unreality as that is what I am getting.

If you can take the fear out of the cycle then you break the cycle itself and that gives you a chance to create a more positive cycle instead.

Very hard to focus on other things when you feel as bad as we can sometimes.

I have my first session of CBT 2moro so I am hoping I can learn how to change the negative cycle as quick as possible.
Posted 5/1/2014 11:55 PM (GMT 0)
Today makes a week that I've been back on 100mcg of zoloft &thats coming from tears every day, deep depression and anxiety attacks so bad I couldn't breathe thinking the worse& a few times, ambulance was called was on a 100mcg a few years ago to have dosage lowered because I started feeling so well. Truth is situation gets worse before it gets better usually taking 4to 6 weeks, sometimes 8 to begin to get full effect &sometimes depersonalization is one of those side effects Iam kinda in this stage right now. But I tell you I rather conquer this& remind myself it will get better, just the medicine starringto work then deal with full blown anxiety attacks this medicine for me is allowing me to cope better. And when before the medicine change I would pay attention tp every little ache& emotions causing me to feel terrible, I can now look and reconize them but not allow them to consume me like before. Try to hang in there if you can, but if the feeling become to overwelming please make sure to seek help if need be hope you feel better soon.
Posted 5/2/2014 12:04 AM (GMT 0)
This is why I love this site! Although I hate anxiety! This thread just described my anxiety symptoms to a T! You put into words what I could not, I am sorry you are suffering in this way and also thankful for your words! I was ready to get admitted to the psych ward when this was happening to me, wasn't sure what would happen or how they would treat me when I finally went crazy! YIkEd this is a horrid condition to have! I will tell you I am having a reprieve from that level of anxiety right now thanks to meds, meditation and therapy but it is not fun as you well know! Hang in there!
Posted 5/2/2014 12:19 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for comments Soulnhealing,

You will definitely get better and I am sure your tablets will kick in sooner rather than later :)

Hey Beamer1

How are you? Believe me I have been struggling to put this feeling in my head into words but I tried my best.

I honestly have been so close to admitting myself on more than one occasion and have had visions of being completely out of it drugged up on some kind of valium with no hope of return but we have to realise(hard as it is)that this is what anxiety does, it will throw up all sorts of strange thoughts and feelings and then you will end up reinforcing them at some point because you will just get scared that they are the product of something much worse then anxiety that is what keeps the cycle going and I know this in my head but it is very hard to apply but not impossible.

We are all in this together and I consider each and everyone of you to be a friend so if you ever need advice or support or just need to vent then please feel free to do so on here and I will answer you.

I honestly wish each and everyone of you something that can be very elusive for somebody suffering from anxiety - Peace of mind!
Posted 5/2/2014 12:29 AM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry you're struggling Sean. I hope your CBT goes well tomorrow, let us know how it goes. I will be starting CBT in a few months.

A x
Posted 5/2/2014 1:57 AM (GMT 0)
Fight it Sean, dont let the ****** beat you, im with you all the way, dont give in!
Posted 5/2/2014 3:02 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks so much guys, I had a good conversation on the phone with a friend earlier who is going through something similar and I felt a bit more with it after that although it is 4 am here right now and I still cant sleep lol

Hope you guys are okay???
Posted 5/2/2014 4:40 AM (GMT 0)
Glad your friend was able to help you Sean. I'm struggling right now. I am trying to keep myself calm but I'm crying. I am away at my dad's house without hubby and I keep feeling nauseous and my arm hurts because I slept on it for a few hours. It's 540am and I've only had about 3.5 hours sleep. Anyway that's for another post, I don't want to hijack yours. Sending hugs, A x
Posted 5/2/2014 2:29 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Wdwfan,

Its okay you can write on my post whenever you wish to :)

How are you feeling now?

I didnt sleep all night and then I have slept half of the day so I woke up and took my Zoloft and straight away I have anxiety I hate it :(

Hope you feeling better?
Posted 5/2/2014 4:53 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Sean, sorry you didn't sleep well. I was awake until 130am unable to switch off. I think my anxiety is worse because I'm away from home but it's through the roof. I feel unwell and as soon as the twinges or unfamiliar sensations start, I panic. I've spent some time at the beach today thinking the sea air will help but it hasn't really helped. I go home tomorrow. Hope you are having a better day.

A x
Posted 5/2/2014 6:15 PM (GMT 0)
Aw sorry to hear it is worse. It usually does get worse when we are away from our safety places or if we are with unfamiliar people but the more you expose yourself to these things, the better it will be.

Being able to go to the beach must be good for anxiety, I would like to have a little beach hut somewhere so I could just wake up and hear the sounds of the ocean waves :)
Posted 5/2/2014 9:17 PM (GMT 0)
I walked past loads of beach huts today and I was thinking how much I'd love one and how lovely it would be. Hope you're doing ok this evening. I've packed my case and am looking forward to seeing hubby tomorrow. I've been struggling tonight, I hyperventilated walking home from the pub as it was partly uphill and I hid my tears from my dad and his partner. They don't know what's going on. My dad is very anti-illness.

A x
Posted 5/2/2014 9:31 PM (GMT 0)
Aw that sucks that you have to feel the need to hide the way you feel but I know there is people out there who have been brought up in such a way that they were taught not to show emotion as it may be a sign of weakness but I have never seen it that way and nor should you.

What you have is an illness and like any illness, it needs to be treated and you WILL be okay one day soon but just try not to rush yourself and get better in your own time. x
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