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Posted 5/3/2014 1:15 AM (GMT 0)
I am having such a rollercoaster day I think I am gonna go mad. I am going from being sad and upset, almost tears, to so much anger my heart is racing. My brain just won't stop!

I'm frustrated because I can't see a counselor till the 16th and I have already been waiting for a month, the kids are driving me crazy and I am under the assumption that my fiance wants nothing to do with me. Which makes me feel like scum! I feel gross, unwanted and unloved. Sorry..I just don't know what to do with all these emotions!! I have tried calming down..I don't know what's going on mad
Posted 5/3/2014 1:49 AM (GMT 0)
sounds like a helluva day :(
So sorry you are feeling so bad.
My advice is to pamper yourself a little bit. If no one else will take care of yourself you need to!
Can you put in a movie for the kids and take a bubble bath with a glass of wine?
Or get a babysitter & treat yourself to a mani-pedi?
Hope you feel better soon!
Posted 5/3/2014 2:16 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for your response! Things are calming down now. A pamper day is just what I need! I am gonna have to think of something good for Mothers Day :)
Posted 5/3/2014 2:30 AM (GMT 0)
Glad things are calming down. Just wanted to add that you need to talk to your fiancé instead of assume that they want nothing to do with you! Maybe they are trying to give you some space or just don't know what to say or how to help. A talk is the best way to figure out what's going on and to let each other know what you need. And also to calm your mind and help you not feel unwanted and unloved!

Hope things get better. You deserve to feel good about yourself. Maybe call Monday and see if it's possible to get in to the counselor sooner.

Take care of you!
Posted 5/3/2014 2:36 AM (GMT 0)
I hope you have a Happy Mother's Day!
My husband was often all about himself but he always made Mother's Day special
He would make me a big breakfast in bed and would bring me a Mimosa & the paper with breakfast and then shut the bedroom door as I had breakfast in bed with peace and quiet.
After I was done the kids were allowed to come in bed with me with gifts!

I have many fond memories.
perhaps you can adopt this type of tradition into your life.
Posted 5/3/2014 2:37 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Sunny! It's not his fault. I always try to deal with those insecurities on my own. It's the PTSD kicking in. I hate to weigh him down with all my crazy feelings all the time because then he thinks he did something wrong. I don't want him to feel like that, but you are right!!

I was always told bad things about myself by my stepfather and I keep hearing his voice. Ugh!! I have learned to somewhat realize when its happening and that helps.
Posted 5/3/2014 2:45 AM (GMT 0)
Weary, that sounds like a dream!!!
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