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What on earth is this ...ready to jump in a ocean

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
Do you just feel like given up
Yes - 33.3% - 3 votes
No - 55.6% - 5 votes
Sometimes - 11.1% - 1 votes
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Posted 5/8/2014 3:00 AM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone , pray all is well with everyone
I'm just sick and tired of bring sick and tired
It's like what do I do at this point , I just lay down and let it happen .....
I'm tired of hospitals , doc , specialist , etc ...
Since August 2012 I have not been the same person I was , I'm not normal , everyday , everyday , it's something ...
For most of you that know my story , you know I had every test that you can say or can't say , I had so many procedures that I lost count , all for this bullsh**called . Anxiety , somatization disorder , I'm sick of it and want my life back , it's been a limit on my life as dear as what I can do , where I can go , and I hate it , before all this I was a jump up and go person , who drove , loved life , and did lots of traveling , now I can't leave the house some days , my son was dx with leukemia last May 9 th , and now he is up and we'll no more cancer and he's playing sports and he has his life back , all I wanna do is go back to work and enjoy life and take care of my kid , I'm 100% healthy but yet I feel like everyday might be my last .... This is horrible , it has to be a way for this to leave here is my list
My sx consist of ......
Chest pains
Burning chest pains
Stomach burning
Blurry vision
Body aches
Ear aches
Head aches
Feeling odd
Feeling faint
Shortness of breath
Shaky inside
Body feel hot inside
Finger hot
Face popping
Lips popping
Tingling
Losing control
Chest hot inside
And a host of other sx I can't name all
Can't sleep
Can't eat
Head exploding , etc
Extra heart beats , PVC

Here are the test and procedure I had
I had 3 EDG ( going down the stomach ) with biopsy taken as well each time found nothing all testing good
I had a MRI , MRA , EEG , and 2 ct scan of my head
I had stress test 2 of them , Echo , holiter monitor 2 of them , 10000 EKG , and a cardiac catherazation of the heart where they go in through your leg up to your heart to check for blockages , etc , my heart doc says it's no other test I can get he has done all the big test and everything is all clear
I been to and ENT twice , did eAr , nose , throat test
A rheumatologist and they say I'm fine
I have been to a hematology and tested for leukemia , lymphoma , and other blood test , all clear , iam iron defiancy anemia so I'm taking iron pills
I been test for Lyme and a host of other things
I been to the ER over 100000x since 2012 of August all different ERs
And I was there once for 5 days on the cardiac floor and they did test and monitor my heArt , I stayed a few other times overnight on the cardiac floor and just a host of other test and doc and madness

Point blank is they find nothing .....

I been to group therapy and one on one , I have tired Zoloft can't go pass a few days I feel very sick , I tired celexa sent me to ER , I tired lexapro sent me to ER , Xanax took one 0.5 sent me to ER had a bad panic attack after it was out my system , I was given Wellbutrin took for 2 weeks did nothing , and I was given a few others I never took , I do take Ativan 0.5 as needed , haven't taken it since Saturday before Easter Sunday when I was admitted in the hospital overnight for chest pains ......

Now this new thing I'm getting is I get very hot inside my body and inside my heAd like a hot rush in my body from my head to my chest , and my face popping and tingling , maybe it's high stress , but it's like I'm out of the stress I was in my son is well , we have our own place , I'm ok , so why , why , why , won't this go the hell away , I have self help books , I'm eating right , no meAt , no sugar , no carbs , I'm wAlking and working out , just trying to stay alive ,

Life really is so unfair , so days are worst then others , my weight going up and down ....

I want peace , peace , I'm praying , mediation , lots and lots of prayer , please God deliver us all from this evil thing , it's not normal ...

I get this weird feeling in my head , uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ...
I could go on all night ....

I pray for all us suffering , mAy a God set us free ....

Has anyone gotten over this and really mAde it through , I see no light , but I have to so I can be around for my son ...

Praying for everyone I'm just so sick of this .... mad smhair mad smhair mad smhair mad smhair mad smhair mad mad smhair smhair mad scool mad smhair


This is truly the devil devil he comes to destroy ..

Goodnight everyone ......
Posted 5/8/2014 3:08 AM (GMT 0)
And let me add , the constant fear of going places , I took my son to his baseball game yesterday and had to leave , I couldn't stay ... Also sometimes it feels like the life is being sucked outta me , it's a crazy scary feeling that I can't really explain , absolutely what horrible us I feel like this all day everyday , just not normal @ all , I hate this , every last drop of it ..... I feel like I'm losing myself ...
I'm 35 this started when I wAs 33 about to turn 34 , I have lost dAys of my life I can never get back .... Why why why ,where did this come from , I don't smoke , drink , do drugs , uhhhhhhhhh
Posted 5/8/2014 3:53 AM (GMT 0)
What r u anxious about? Ur future?
Posted 5/8/2014 4:25 AM (GMT 0)
Are you on birth control? Have you had magnesium levels checked?
Posted 5/8/2014 4:36 AM (GMT 0)
No I don't take birth control , yes I had all that checked
That's the thing , I can be fine , just cooking cleaning etc and it comes
I mean don't get me wrong , I been through some stuff and still trying to rebuild my life , before this started I wAs coming out of a 16 year relationship that took a toll on me , I'm still looking for a job , in major debt , but it's not like I can't handle any of this ....
Posted 5/8/2014 5:01 AM (GMT 0)
That does seem like a lot to handle. Sometimes being really strong finally catches up to us. I'm so glad to hear that your son is doing better. That must have been so hard. I have a 3 1/2 year old son myself.

I'm 38, and last summer my whole world came crashing down around me. I went from a confident, out going woman to a shell of myself. The things you are describing sound just like what I went through. I could barely leave the house, always convinced I was dying, strange feelings and an out-of-it, brain fog feeling that I couldn't shake and scared me so much! I am feeling much better now and I know you will too. Don't give up hope.
Posted 5/8/2014 5:05 AM (GMT 0)
Are u taking anything , it's been since August 2012 for me , tomorrow I go on a second job interview I pray I get it but scared that what if. I can't work , I just want my life back
Posted 5/8/2014 5:18 AM (GMT 0)
I'm not. I was prescribed citalopram and Klonopin after I was diagnosed w GAD and panic attacks, but I never took them. I came across some research that suggested that low levels of magnesium can cause depression/anxiety and I thought, why not...I'll try it. I guess stress depletes stores of magnesium so it can be low and can affect the balance of other minerals even if tests show levels are normal. Anyway, long story short, it helped. That along with something called Ribes Nigrum. It is a concentrate from the black current plant that has a compound in it that helps balance hormones/ the effect of estrogen. This is according to my MD that also practices integrative medicine. The combo of those two things have worked wonders. To prove it was really that, I stopped taking them in Feb thinking, how could that POSSIBLY be what is working, I must just be better...and, guess what? My panic attacks, strange feelings, obsessive health feelings, strange panic zaps, as I like to call them, all came back. Started my regimen again and after a few weeks was feeling pretty good again.

I really hope you find something that works for you. I know how miserable it is to feel like you do.

I hope your interview goes well. Let me know how things go.

Post Edited (MissGigi) : 5/7/2014 11:45:29 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/8/2014 5:26 AM (GMT 0)
Where can I get that from , I need it ASAP , I will try anything at this point
Posted 5/8/2014 5:28 AM (GMT 0)
You can get it on Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0083UZ9JQ/ref=oh_details_o01_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Not sure if posting a link is ok or not.
Posted 5/8/2014 6:24 AM (GMT 0)
Ok thank you , so how do you take it
Posted 5/8/2014 10:40 AM (GMT 0)
I feel like you do and mine started in Nov 2010 and I'm still suffering, I was thinking mine could be the start of menopause as I am 47 and had my first and only little girl 5 years ago. She stopped breathing on me at 7 weeks old and it effected me badly, so glad your son is better. She is better now but we went thru a lot which effected my relationship with her dad. We are friendly still and he is a big part of her life but we live alone. Her probably was severe acid reflux which made her stop breathing twice.
Try anything and everything, my therapist told me last night to stop giving it control. When I feel a rush from my stomach to my chest and numbness/tingling along with a ton of other problems to just talk my way past it. Like ok Ive had this before, it passes quickly, Im ok its just my anxiety messing with me. And let it go.......
Posted 5/8/2014 11:55 AM (GMT 0)
There are directions on the bottle. You mix a few drops with water, 2x/day. I was told to take it morning and afternoon, but not at night.

Nik- I think hormones have A LOT to do with this. Why else would women suffer from depression/anxiety more than men? Also, the talking through episodes helped me too. Trying to talk my way through strange feelings. I try to tell myself it has happened before and I will be fine. It is really hard though, when it feels like it is happening for the first time, every time.

Oh, and for what it's worth....I (and a great many other women, including one who just wrote a book about it) are convinced our problems are a result of the copper iud.

Post Edited (MissGigi) : 5/8/2014 5:59:53 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/8/2014 2:31 PM (GMT 0)
Sickofitall21

I am sorry you are having such a rough time..........are any of the self-help sites helping you?

There was a time when all I did all day long was cry and just feel so dang sad and afraid of my own shadow - I have a pretty good idea of all the nasty feelings you are experiencing.

I am on medications............I do take vitamin supplements per Drs. OK and one is Mg++ however, in my case second degree to my cancer my electrolytes are frequently out of kilter.

Always remember that any information shared in the forums is peer support and we are not Drs.  I am a strong believer in alternative treatments so any massage therapy, biofeedback ETC that you may have access too would be looking into.

Praying for you to find relief and supporting you 100%.

Kindly,

Kitt

 

Posted 5/8/2014 3:20 PM (GMT 0)
Well, I'm almost a Dr....but of the animal variety. ;) But, yes, always check with your doctor before taking advice from me, or anyone else.

Post Edited (MissGigi) : 5/8/2014 9:23:29 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/8/2014 3:47 PM (GMT 0)
MissGigi,

You made me laugh! "I'm almost a Dr....but of the animal variety."

Our dog has pain pills from the Vet ordered through our pharmacy and it looks funny to see his name on the bottle of a medication that people use.

turn   tongue turn

Posted 5/8/2014 4:53 PM (GMT 0)
Kitt-It makes me laugh too when I pick up medications for my dogs at the "people" pharmacy! :-) Side note: many people don't know you can do this, and it is often cheaper!

Sickofitall-I hope your interview goes well today! Thinking of you!!
Posted 5/8/2014 6:05 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Everyone , I gotta find a way to really fight this .....
Posted 5/8/2014 8:03 PM (GMT 0)
What do you do for yourself that brings you joy?

If you're not feeling sociable and don't want to go out of the house,....okay,....what could you do at home, even for a little while, to calm your nerves? Don't think of the whole day, think about twenty minutes. That's all. One small chunk of time.

If you feel like you can go out, again, small chunk of time, what makes you smile and feel good that you can for yourself.

I've been through similar feelings, based on how you've described it....in a way, you really are creating a new identity for yourself, so your perception is not skewed. You've been through an awful lot and you're pulling yourself up and out, and moving forward.

That means regardless, this is all new territory, so things can't feel like they used to. Your life, your circumstances have changed, and you're changing along with that so that you can be happier, healthier, stronger.

Instead of looking back at what you thought was normal,.....look forward to the "new normal" that you are going to create for yourself. Here's your chance. It isn't about catching lost days, it's about making each new day better than those old days gone past!







M.
Posted 5/8/2014 8:42 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks merrinda , I try so hard to be at peace . Like I was just in the kitchen cooking , helping my son with his homework and now I'm crying , my chest feels awful , I'm scared and tired , I feel weak , just a minute ago , my head was squeezing not on the outside but like a strange feeling inside , it's so scary , as if my soul is detached from my body , my chest burns , so I'm laying down , and now these weird feelings like warm running water in my stomach like a nervous funny feeling , it's so hard to explain , I just want peace , how can I start a new job like thud , but I gotta take card of my child , this so awful , if I go to ER they will run test only yo send me home , I even get this weird sound grumbling in my stomach like I'm hungry or gas , but I can just eAt and it comes , my chest chest feels very sore like my bones are sore from working out ...... I just really need to yo go away , I took 0.5 we'll half of that Ativan this morning and went back to sleep ,I felt a bit better when I woke up for my second interview , but my extra PVC are bothering me this week , I can feel them , so of course it's scary , ....my back has shooting pains , I'm just so tired of this all ...... What do I do
Posted 5/8/2014 8:45 PM (GMT 0)
Oh , I walk and try to watch movies , sit on my porch And just keep my mind busy ... It's not easy , I tired to workout the other day and my PVC got very jumping , so I will just keep walking for now
Posted 5/8/2014 9:54 PM (GMT 0)
I used to have tons of PVCs too. They are so disrupting and anxiety producing, even if they are "nothing to worry about".
Posted 5/8/2014 11:41 PM (GMT 0)
Yes they are , I really don't get none of this , it's funny because before all this started in 2010 out of no where I started getting PVC , and then 2012 us when the anxiety , somatization disorder started .....
Uhhhhhh what a life
Posted 5/9/2014 12:42 AM (GMT 0)
I know this like the opposite, but sometimes we can get this way if we're too still....if we over-focus on not doing anything that might trigger an attack.

It's healthy for our bodies to be moving, especially so with anxiety. To spend a great deal of time sitting, even for a person w/o anxiety,....everything just builds up inside and we become hypersensitive to our feelings.

As challenging as this sounds, if you've been given the all-clear from your doc, I'd gently suggest you revisit working out. It doesn't have to be crazy, aggressive and all-out. It just has to be do-able and above all, consistent.

If we stop doing something every time it gets a little fluttery inside, we'll trap ourselves in our current state of being. Pushing our boundaries, gently, a bit at a time.....







M.
Posted 5/9/2014 12:52 AM (GMT 0)
Yes , I agree .... Thanks.
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