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Posted 6/9/2014 8:41 AM (GMT 0)
Hi I am new to this forum but not new to anxiety unfortunately cry
I wonder if anyone can help, I have had health anxiety for the past 13 yrs but it comes in bouts I've had about 5 or 6 in that time.
Basically my anxiety hits when I have a real health concern ie symptoms that are not anxiety related.
I am in such a horrible place right now!
I gave birth to my son just 9 days ago!!
And throughout my pregnancy I would get palpitations anytime I ate.
I was told it was due to reflux which made sense as I had terrible acid heartburn.
I would of thought it would have gone after the birth, I don't have the acid now but I still get the palps after I eat!
So I went and saw my doc in pieces through being so scared that there is a problem with my heart.
He has referred me for a halter test and I am terrified.
Sitting waiting to have it done, afraid of what they might find, he increased the dose of my clonazepam but everytime I take the higher dose I can't keep my eyes open, I'd love to sleep but I'm too afraid because everytime I wake up I'm in such a panic, mornings being the worst, I have to do night feeds for my newborn so I wake every 3 hrs to feed him and I'm in panic mode the whole time :-(
I sit the whole day with my eyes closed but not falling asleep, I do sleep at night because by that time I'm exhausted!
I have my mum staying with me to help as much as pos but there's only so much she can do, I also have 3 other children aged 13, 6 and 3 to look after, I can't stop the constant fear and as my partner really doesn't understand he makes matters worse he belittles me and I have always lived in fear of the next bout, A because I can't bare to keep going through this and B because I'm sure my partner will have enough and walk away!! I really need help what can I do please help me :-(
Posted 6/9/2014 2:00 PM (GMT 0)
WT1984,

Welcome to HealingWell.  You have come to the right place to find others who understand what you are going through.


I am sorry you are having such a hard time and I understand well what it feels like to be on the worry-go-round of "what if?" thinking. I was dx with anxiety in 1982 and most of the time I have been ok but some major episodes have assaulted my life.  With the help of my Dr. a therapist, medication and this great forum I have learned ways to accept my anxiety and not let it rule my life.


When my mind starts wandering into the "ifs" I talk to myself and tell myself rational answers for my what-ifs. It’s really hard when the what-ifs escalate. Sometimes it just gets away from us. Another thing that works well for me is distraction. I get up and clean or get on the computer...anything that makes me concentrate on something else. Sometimes I call a "safe person", someone that understands and is able to distract me with other conversation. Deep, slow belly breathing helps to clear your mind too.

It is normal for each of us to experience some anxiety, however, if it is out of hand, one of the best things you can do is make an appointment with a therapist for some one on one counseling.

I promise you the Holter Monitor is painless and it may take up to a week to get your results. 

Trust you are doing the right things and coming here talking with us was wise as we are here to support you.

Gentle Hugs,

Kitt

Posted 6/9/2014 4:39 PM (GMT 0)
Hi WT and welcome!

Congratulations!! I am very happy for you on the birth of your son! However, I am sorry to hear that anxiety is taking away from what should be a very exciting, if exhausting time.

You have, and continue to go through a lot both physically and mentally with having just given birth. This unfortunately, gives anxiety a foothold...as it is oppotunistic.:(

So, as Kitt said...great job on reaching out to those who understand and care. There are so many members here who know what you are going through with your symptoms and worries. It is a common topic here, and if you do a search, you will find more threads than you could read on the subject!

In our Resources (link below) we have several self-help suggestions for dealing with health anxiety, so please take some time and look into those...they could really put your mind at ease. (let me know if you can't find them, and I will be happy to post direct links for you)



https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=104206

...and to echo Kitt's advice...therapy is a great long term treatment option to consider.

Keep talking with us...we are here to listen anytime.:)

Scaredy Cat

Posted 6/9/2014 4:44 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you for your reply, it means a lot to talk to someone who knows just how I feel!
I just want the test over with with hopfully nothing bad showing.
I can then start to recover again, I am however going to look in to possible therapy that is on going, I have had CBT but don't believe that I really took it all in or that possibly the therspist wasn't very good, I'd come away feeling like nothing had really been covered.
Hopefully I can find some sort of therapy that works!
I have a very big fear of relapsing as I know everyone has. I really need to learn not to be afraid of illness. I believe it was due to growing up with a sick father who was in and out of hospital all the time, then he tragically died from falling down the stairs, I was only 15 at the time!
Anxiety is bad enough but it's a whole new ball game when having 4 children and a partner that just doesn't get it. :-(
Posted 6/9/2014 4:49 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Scaredy cat, is it possible to get long term therapy? I have only been offered counselling and CBT both which only lasted around a couple of months, I feel I need it a lot more long term!
Posted 6/9/2014 5:22 PM (GMT 0)
HI Whitetiger - I feel so bad for what you're going through but I can almost assure you that you are fine. You sound like you're going through the exact same thing I went through after having my second son. I thought I had heart disease AND thought I was going crazy and wouldn't be able to raise my children. My mom stayed with me too, thank God, but I was still a mess because my husband at the time was an alcoholic and had no interest or time for what I was going through. Palpitations are oftentimes caused from stress and anxiety - I've had them all my life on and off and they are benign. I also think you might have the added issue of post partum depression which makes everything worse in your mind. You will get through this I know...just stay strong and keep telling yourself you are OK and visit this site whenever you feel you need to talk to people who DO understand.
Posted 6/9/2014 5:36 PM (GMT 0)
WT,

First of all, I am sorry to hear of your father's struggles and his untimely passing. I lost my father at age 15 as well...and a prolonged illness and sudden tragedy can both certainly be triggers for anxiety.

I did not know that you have had some CBT...that is good to know. While it is true that CBT is ususally done in weekly sessions that typically conclude within a 10-12 week time frame...that does not mean that everyone is 'done' at the conclusion of their therapy.

I went through it twice (for different issues) and found benefit both times...but especially the second time around, having previous experience to pull from and build on.

Like you mentioned...your previous therapist may not have been a good fit...

...or consider that we are constantly changing, and open to new benefits and healing at any given time in our lives. Now could be your time for gaining ground. So re-visting therapy is always a boon if you ask me.:)

Since you are new in your post partum period however...I would recommend really taking advantage our of Resources for now. There are a lot of things self-help wise that you could be trying. Take a look and see if anything looks interesting to your paritcular needs.

Keep talking with us as well. Support is in and of itself a great form of healing!

S.C.
Posted 6/9/2014 5:39 PM (GMT 0)
...Oh and as far as your question regarding long term therapy? I actualy was referring to therapy's long term benefits...(sorry for being cofusing!)

...but absolutely...many people do 'talk therapy' with their therapist/psychologist on an on-going basis bi-monthly or weekly.

S.C.
Posted 6/9/2014 5:52 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you both, this is such a horrible place to be, I now as from today cannot sleep, I had been sleeping whenever the baby sleeps but I have tried so many times today and nothing!
I'm exausted!! I can hardly keep my eyes open but just can't sleep!
I have clonazepam which I take in the evenings and mornings I just hope it helps me sleep tonight or that is another bloody worry :-(Please god let me sleep, I have eaten the equivalent of a two year olds one days food in the last 5 days, I wouldn't have eaten that unless I forced myself! I can feel my tummy waiting away but when I do feel a little less anxious I use that time to eat usually bananas or fruit as it's all I can tolerate, looking at a meal makes me feel sick.
Posted 6/9/2014 6:26 PM (GMT 0)
Can you get someone to buy you some meal replacement shakes? (Ensure or Boost for example)

These are easy to sip on throughout the day when you can't tolerate food.

They will give you the nutrients and calories you need...and having something in your stomach may even help you to sleep.

Sending you thoughts of rest and recovery,

S.C.
Posted 6/10/2014 7:52 AM (GMT 0)
Yes I'm going to get some today as well as diralite because I have the big D too which doesn't help, I think I slept last night it's hard to tell to be honest because I stirred quite a lot, and because I'm always tired even when I have slept that makes it harder to tell, I'm going to take my 3yr old and newborn in to town today as anxious as I'll feel, I remember being told during past bouts that going out is important even if I do find it hard to keep my eyes open, it does make me feel a little better for doing it though. Thanks again whitetiger84
Posted 6/10/2014 5:58 PM (GMT 0)
Wishing you endurance for today...I hope that it turns out to be a good thing to get out for a bit.:) May you have such a nice outing that your anxiety does not stand a chance of surfacing!

Keep posting with us...we are here to listen and care.:)

S.C.
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