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I feel like I'll never get better

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Posted 7/13/2014 10:16 PM (GMT 0)
I'm new to this forum but I've read a lot of the other posts and I feel like I'm in the right place. I used to have sever panic attacks 8 years ago but after an ER visit the doctor prescribed me 20mg of Buspirone and 20 mg or paroxetine daily. After that, I've never seen a doctor for this problem as my panic attacks were very infrequent if not rare. I've recently moved back to my girlfriends hometown where she has a terrific and loving family and I was able to get a good job. However I don't have my insurance yet, it doesn't kick in for over two more weeks. The past week I've been experiencing panic attacks that are crippling me. I'm afraid to be around people at work, I'm nervous at home around my very supporting fiancee, and I can barely sleep or eat. I went to a walk in clinic two days ago and he prescribed me xanax for acute cases which for me is all the time still! It was only .25 mg and it seems to help slightly. He also said I should go off the buspirone for a week to calm down my attacks with the xanax first then go back on it. He also recommended doubling my dosage of paroxetine to 40 mg which I've done for the past two days. I've called crisis hotlines and even have an appointment with the county mental health department tomorrow. I'm embarrassed because the dr. gave me 8 pills of xanax to last me a whole week and now I only have one left and I'm still freaking out! I'm afraid to go back to the dr in case he think's I'm just trying to score pills. I break down and cry for no good reason, I'm clingy and insecure, but most of all I'm afraid I'm going to lose my new job over this and make us broke. I feel helpless and frightened. Any help?!
Posted 7/13/2014 10:41 PM (GMT 0)
Slow deep breath in through the nose and hold it as long as you can and exhale through the mouth. Your stomach should rise when you inhale not your chest. This is the key to relax. Next take your major what if fear and change this to so what if? It helps to write it down even if you just tear it up and throw it away.
Posted 7/13/2014 10:58 PM (GMT 0)
Do you have any access to mental health services? There are therapists who use a sliding fee scale for those w/o insurance. They cannot rx you medications, but it might be a place to start so you can discuss your feelings and they may be able to refer you to care....

I'm surprised an ED doc would rx A/D and anxiety meds for you as they require being monitored and follow-ups. I would look into various resources that are available so that you can have a continuum of care! :)

Best of luck and keep us informed.








M.
Posted 7/13/2014 11:22 PM (GMT 0)
As I have said before the dosage adjustment and change might cause excess anxiety, it will get better when your meds are at the level your body is used to. I'd also like to add that for you to get better and have the strength you have to care for yourself, it happens, people get stressed, and sometimes we need help.

Post Edited (deborahscinder) : 7/13/2014 5:25:11 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 7/13/2014 11:48 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you for all of the kind words. The crazy thing is that I get most anxious when I get home and the thought of being in bed causes me panic as that's where I wake up every morning full of fear. I'm so scared I don't have the financial resources to get better. I'm headed to the dr again tomorrow, hopefully he can provide me some relief. Why would I get so anxious around my fiancée? Maybe I'm afraid of disappointing her or stressing her out. I don't know but I'm scared most of the time. I'm afraid if I go to the public mental health facility they will lock me up or something.
Posted 7/13/2014 11:53 PM (GMT 0)
They won't lock you up over anxiety. Do you live in the Saint Louis Area by chance ? There is a great anxiety and phobia specialist there! I was agoraphobic and he got me better really quick but I had to do what he told me by changing my thought pattern
Posted 7/13/2014 11:56 PM (GMT 0)
If that was the case I would of been locked up along time ago. My doctor said morning anxiety is very very common. You might be anxious around your fiancee because your a man and don't want to come across weak. open up to your future wife and she will support you.
Posted 7/14/2014 2:55 AM (GMT 0)
Hi and welcome.

I am really sorry to hear of the difficult time that you are currently going through! I understand how that feels.:(

Good to hear that you are headed to the clinic tomorrow, and hopefully you will get some help and guidance from that appointment.

For now, I am going to post some basic self-help exercises that will help you with your overall stress levels and panic. They are simple, but very effective if practiced daily. Look over all of the links and see which ones look the most helpful for you. Give them a try before bed time and see if it helps to take the edge off, so that you can rest well. The more you practice these, the less intense your anxiety will likely be.

Self Help sites with breathing/relaxation exercises instructions

Panic attack relief exercises:

 

http://www.healthcentral.com/anxiety/c/73076/34334/breathing-lessons/

http://www.healthyplace.com/

http://www.stress-relief-exercises.com/

http://www.ehow.com/video_4405003_breathing-exercises-panic-attacks.html

http://www.psybersquare.com/anxiety/panic_relax_I


These are from our Resouces, found on our main page, 1st post. It is filled with helpful material for managing anxiety. Check it out in its entireity when you can.:)

Keep posting with us for support as well! We care and understand. Let us know how your appointment goes tomorrow.:)

Scaredy Cat

Posted 7/18/2014 12:04 AM (GMT 0)
I ended up going to a respite care program for three days and they've switched my prescriptions to 20mg Paroxetine in the morning and .5 mg of Klonopin twice daily. I still have a great deal of morning anxiety. Prior to going in to respite care my anxiety was the worst when I went to bed and I would wake up constantly with panic. Also, being around my fiancee would cause me panic and I have no idea why. i still have that issue. I'm not sure if it's because I feel like I'm bumming her out or making her sad because she makes me anxious? I don't get it. I talk to her about it but I wonder how long she will continue to be patient. I wish I could hypnotize myself to realize that my bedroom and being with my fiancee are the safest places in the world with no anxiety but I haven't been able to convince my subconscious. Any suggestions?
Posted 7/18/2014 12:46 AM (GMT 0)
I'm not sure if it will help but I've found some great guided meditations for sleep and relaxation on YouTube. They have helped me relax and sleep at night and I use them in the morning, when my anxiety is the worst. Also, walking in the morning helps me. Breathe, you will get through this.
Posted 7/18/2014 1:07 AM (GMT 0)
This is a miracle solution for my adrenal overload related anxiety...take at once: 2 teaspoons Vitamin C powder, 400 mgs of Magnesium Glycinate and 400 mgs Ashwaganda herb. If my heart is palpitating, I add 1 teaspoon SEA salt. Also, breathing in through the nose and out (with a big sigh) through the mouth.
Posted 7/18/2014 4:27 PM (GMT 0)
P.,

Did you try the stress relieving exercises I posted above?

It takes practice and commitment, but if you keep it up everday, you should see improvement soon.:)

S.C.
Posted 7/19/2014 1:43 AM (GMT 0)
P,

Have you spoken directly with your fiancée about your feelings and concerns? (As opposed to guessing or assuming, I mean?)





M.
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