new to this all

Hello everyone I'm need to this whole posting in forums. Mainly because, I hate to look at people make fun of another because of their issues. But I'm going to give this a try.
I am a 35 year old mother of 6. I work part time and go to school as well. I do everything by myself with little or no help. Saying that, about a year ago I developed sometimes severe anxiety attacks. It has gone down hill from there. Never had any health problems, but now I feel like I'm falling apart. I am constantly at e.r cause I think something is wrong with my heart. All test come back negative... My mind will not let me except that. I have somewhat of a depression issue as well. I feel like I'm losing my mind, and going crazy, paranoid, just everything in a bottle. I'm afraid to take meds cause I dont want to feel like I'm a zombie. But I'm scare, I'm scare to be alone, and its the worst at night. And no one understands. Sorry for so much detail, but I just need to have ways of coping with before I drive myself to a padded room!

You and I could not be more similar! This is my first post ever as well but I feel as if I have run out of options. After giving birth to my son almost a yr ago I developed severe anxiety and panic disorder. I struggle with it on a daily basis and am currently taking celexa which helps. I am actually experiencing n attack right now and no one understands just how horrifying it is. Like you I constantly have a pain or pressure in my chest when panicking and can't help but think I am having a heart attack! I was at the Dr not even 3 hours ago and had an ekg which came out normal but I still can't shake the feeling I am dying. My husband doesn't understand although he tries, he is not sympathetic at all. I don't like taking the xanax I am prescribed for when I have an attack because taking pills scares me. Sometimes I feel I can't go on like this anymore but it helps to know I am not alone. I am so glad to have found your post, especially right now when I needed it the most. By the way I am a 31 year old mother of one. :)

Post Edited (AmberSouth) : 7/28/2014 7:00:13 PM (GMT-6)

My friends and family all look at me like I am crazy even though I know they care about me. Those who don't have anxiety will never truly understand. As far as the meds, the celexa I take once a day and it helps me feel normal. Without it I don't know if I could've kept on with the way things were. When I take the xanax it basically just knocks me out, that's one of the reasons I don't like to take it. I agree with you on the internet being an enemy, I Google everything and it usually makes my panic worse. Finding this forum and your post is the most helpful thing I've got from the internet. I have been told that there is light at the end of this dark tunnel, it's hard to believe but believing is all we have.

Ladies-

We all have different stories but we are all in the same boat in that we have or have struggled with this anxiety & depression crap. The bad news- it sucks, but you already know that The good news- it's not fatal, you aren't or will not go crazy and it is most definitely treatable.

The treatments vary. Some of us take meds, some go to a therapist, some do meditation & mindfulness or a combination of all that I just mentioned. I too would *prefer* not to take meds but they are a great tool. Not the only answer but a wonderful & needed tool for many of us.

Please read the links SC gave you. Also, stay AWAY from "Dr Google." Seriously. That's actually part of my homework in therapy to NOT google symptoms, etc. If I catch myself doing or starting to, I stop. It takes practice and willpower but it's possible lol.

Don't be scared to talk to a medical professional about this. They see it all. the. time. Every single day.

You're in a safe and comforting place on this forum. Keep posting and check out the resources. There is no easy, magic fix to this so you have to be willing to do the work & it doesn't have to take up a lot of time. You have to make time to invest in yourself though & you can.

Best Wishes,

Lisa