I let myself go

Hello all, I wanted to write about this and see if anyone can relate. There was a time in my life that I never would of thought of leaving the house without makeup. That was maybe 8 years ago, but since my full on depression I just don't care anymore. I have a beautiful dressing table full of makeup that just sits there, I have nice clothes in my closet that never get worn. If I go to the store, I throw on some kinda yoga pant and a tshirt. I have very long hair that is always kept in a librarian bun and then add my geeky large black reading glasses and I'm good to go. I have even went to town with unshaved legs, and shorts : (.  I just don't have the energy to look nice. Last Saturday when I made it to the family function I did apply makeup and fix my hair, my husband about passed out and looked shocked at the transformation. I wish I could look nice more often, I wish I cared.

Does anyone know what I mean? I'm not vain, never have been, but why look like hell if you don't have to? It's the depression isn't it. Even though sometimes I feel happy, it's still there.

 

You're not alone Deborah. Been there, done that. Yoga pants and hoodies/yoga pants & tshirts. But. I wear those things when I wasn't depressed so what does that say about me LOL.

Interestingly, through my latest bout, I have actually showered MORE & gotten dressed in nicer yoga clothing (haha) bc I was desperate to feel the slightest bit normal..

So it def sucks but you're not alone and it isn't going to be like this forever. How long have you been on your AD?

Sending love!

Lisa

Yes I can relate.

What really pisses me off is when I dress properly and am well groomed, the girl at the makeup counter and the clerk at the shopping mall treat me differently! They have the biggest smile on their faces and are so nice to me.

Then on another occasion when I have a bad hairdo, wearing 'casual clothes' with less makeup on, they would not even notice me!

People judge based on physical appearance. If someone says appearance doesn't matter, she/he is lying.

 

I used to be much the same way.

To be honest, I've gone to PT with my legs not shaved, and I'm no longer a big fan of makeup.

My uniform is also cropped yoga pants or sweats and comfortable tee-shirt.

I do agree that we get judged, and often harshly, based on our appearance. Some people believe if you dress "better" you will, in turn, feel better inside.

Where I am now, with how I dress now, oddly, I feel just fine with myself, and I think that reflects as well.

Sure I get treated (at first) differently when I'm dressed in a way that makes OTHER people more comfortable. But quite frankly there are moments when my personal comfort is much more important to me than theirs.











M.

For me, looking good really helps. When I look in the mirror when I'm not dressed neatly and have no makeup on, it just reinforces how I feel. Yucky. When I do my hair and put on makeup, I tend to feel a litle more energized. Remember when Billy Crystal did his "Fernando" routine? "It doesn't matter how feel, it's how you look. And you look mahvelous!!!" Sometimes just making yourself look better does a lot to give you a quick pick me up. I know I always feel better when I've been to the hair salon for a cut and style. But I certainly understand how it's an effort to make yourself look put together when you feel anything but that. There are days when I just want to put a bag over my head and walk out the door. So for now, it's either go out of the house in mascara or sunglasses. My choice!

I agree that when I am depressed I really let myself go, I have never been much on make-up some may say its my natural beauty ;) but I always have cared what my hair looks like, unless I'm depressed and then it looks like I am trying out for an 80's rock band and I don't even attempt to cover the gray, forget about looking for a pair of tweezers that is out of the question, I actually went so long without shaving my legs that my leg hairs gave up on me and literally fell off or quit growing(I always shave my armpits, cause frankly who likes seeing armpit hairs hanging out of a T?), but when I start feeling good about myself I totally go all out and try to look pretty. People can generally know how I am feeling by just looking at my hair :)