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Daughter leaving for college-single mom-help!

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Posted 8/2/2014 3:24 PM (GMT 0)
I'm a single mom and my only daughter will be leaving for college in two weeks. I started having anxiety/panick attacks about 3 days ago. I just want to break down and cry at times. I can't stay focused. It is the worst in the morning. I have trouble in the shower because all I want to do is rush out. Have difficulty doing my hair and make-up, partly because I want to keep rushing forward and partly because my hands are shaky. It seems to take me until about 10:30am to fell kind of normal. I'm usually upbeat and positive, so it's disturbing when I have these episodes.

I try to keep moving to keep the energy moving. I went to see my primary care doctor yesterday and she talked to me a lot and had me take an assessment test. Result is anxiety and depression. I have been on Effexor 75mg for years. She gave me .5 mg of Ativan to use as needed.
I'm also seeing a counselor on Monday. I've had these episodes before and am trying to be proactive in keeping it under control. I don't want to ruin my daughter's last two weeks at home by being a crazy lady.

Anything any of you can offer will be so appreciated.

Sincerely,
Katrina
Posted 8/2/2014 4:51 PM (GMT 0)
Katrina,
Each of us, with anxiety, experience a difficult time letting go of our child as they watch their child's life change and we are already lonely.

Plan family time together but do not monopolize your daughter's time as I am sure she will want special time with her immediate family.

Be brave, be kind and most of all be supportive of her.

Gentle Hugs to you,
Kitt
Posted 8/2/2014 7:34 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you, Kitt. I am doing my best.
Posted 8/2/2014 10:44 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Kat and welcome.:)

I am sorry that your anxiety is ramping up at this time. It is not hard to see why! This is a major life transition for both you and your daughter...and your combined life together. I would be suprised if you were not anxious about this change...it is hard!

You are doing all of the right things however...and that is going to keep you ahead of the game, and feeling your best once you have had a chance to process all of this.:)

Seeing your doctor and getting back into therapy were smart moves! Reaching out here for support is also going to help I am sure. We do care and understand!

Here are some great coping skills that may be of help to you at this time. Practicing them daily can really make a difference.

Self Help sites with breathing/relaxation exercises instructions

Panic attack relief exercises:

 

http://www.healthcentral.com/anxiety/c/73076/34334/breathing-lessons/

http://www.healthyplace.com/

http://www.stress-relief-exercises.com/

http://www.ehow.com/video_4405003_breathing-exercises-panic-attacks.html

http://www.psybersquare.com/anxiety/panic_relax_I

 

Doing the breathing and progressive muscle relaxation first thing after waking, when your challenges are the toughest could help you to turn the rough mornings around! These simple practices can counter the effects of Cortisol.

(Cortisol is a stress hormone that is at its highest in the morning. It is responsible for getting us up and moving after sleeping for hours. It is good in that it motivates us for the day...but can be hard on those sensitive to it/people with pre-existing anxiety issues!!)

I hope that this brings you some relief. Have hope...you will feel well again soon.:)

Scaredy Cat

Posted 8/3/2014 2:11 AM (GMT 0)
Oh my I have been through this and yes it is very very hard.
You will make it through believe me. It will not be easy. Lots of tears, lots of anxiety about whether or not they are ready to handle life. This is normal.
Try and think about the birds who push their babies out of the nest when the time has come and the babies fly away. This is nature. We teach and nurture our children but the goal is to have them become self sufficient and to live their lives on their own.
My oldest is now moving out of the country to pursue a dream and I am having this separation anxiety all over again even tho college was 12 years ago...your kids never stop being your kids.
I guess I'll make it thru again.

I wish you all the best.
Posted 8/3/2014 12:26 PM (GMT 0)
I'm right there with you concerning the empty nest. My youngest son leaves for college in 13 days. I am a mess. Panic attacks daily, don't know what the heck I am going to do with my life now. I've been a SAHM since 1987! I truly don't know how I am going to deal with this. I've never done anything else but mother my kids, so I guess I need to seriously revamp my life. I even saw a counselor last week about this. That's how distraught I am.
Posted 8/3/2014 3:29 PM (GMT 0)
Well...it looks like you guys can be of great support to each other!!

....and I will be joining you in few years.

Okay, my youngest is just now going into junior high...but I have been mothering for 24 yrs now...have been through this already, and know how it FLIES by!!

Keep talking with each other and with us. Care and undersrtanding are found here!

LHA...great job on talking about this with your counselor as well...smart move!

S.C.
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