Just want me back

I went to my son's for dinner last night and felt so bad inside cause I was really and tense from my anxiety. I tried to keep a smile on cause I didn't want to bother anyone else about it. My son knows me too well and asked if I was ok cause I seemed quiet. I told him and he sat down and rubbed my shoulders and said they were very tight. We went on with the evening and I went home, afraid of being alone the way I felt. I woke up this morning, got ready for work, but still just not feeling like myself. I was a little light headed too. As I was driving to work, I started getting sharp little twinges of pain behind my breast bone which immediately threw me into fear and short of breath because it scared me (I do get heartburn and have GERD too). I've had the same feeling before and went to the ER. They did tests and nothing was wrong but anxiety. I also had a stress test in March and that was fine. Anyway, I got to work, trying to keep my head clear but just having such a hard time getting my mind off of the "what ifs". People here depend on me and I'm trying to keep a straight face and smile but I'm a mess inside. I keep reminding myself it's ok...the hospital is literally 4 blocks away if you need it. People around me are going about their day and enjoying life. I just want that back so bad. Thanks for listening to me ramble. Any feedback or support appreciated. 

Mam when you catch yourself doing that to yourself, look for
some thing you can focus on and really put yourself into the
process of solving the problem, it's a kind of mindfulness I use
to use it at work, I would get the Import Compliance Manual and
try to solve an issue that required intense thought, every time you catch yourself drifting pull back to the subject, it helps, so
does Prayer, you are in Mine, Peace
Larry ***

its been two years for me ... and i still get that and trust me i know what you mean ... i just want me back ...... the person that i once was ..... good luck to you ....

i go to work everyday with the what if's

I feel a lot better after reading all you guys problems I'm not alone. I hope one of us can find a solution and share it to each other and we will be fine once for all. I trust God I know I'm not going anywhere cause my little kids needs me he gave them to me to watch over them. My sisters have faith please don't ever say what if ? I am 33 years old by way I'm gonna make till the end. I hide my pain from my kids I don't want them sad.

Too much, except for the post partum part, what you wrote took the words out of my mouth. What you said is exactly the way I feel. Thanks for sharing.