HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

I swear I'm losing my mind

Support Forums
>
Anxiety & Panic Disorders
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 9/8/2014 8:00 PM (GMT 0)
Hi all, 32 year old male here

So about four years ago I was driving on the hwy thankfully with a friend and I became extraordinarily dizzy and felt like like I was going to die.. Luckily I was able to pull over and have my friend drive and he thought maybe I was just hungover from a long night if drinking the previous nite. I went to the gas station and couldn't even stand up right, I felt like I was moving and falling and I wasn't. So I got home and the rest of the next few days I was pretty much in bed with the same symptoms. Doc said I had labrynthitis and prescribed meclizine. I did go through some tests and and EKG and all came back normal. Although most of it was routine stuff.

Well after that started to clear, I developed the worst anxiety disorder known to man. I struggle with it every day and it's not always easy to describe symptoms but they are as follows: light headed and woozy, chest pain, tingling in hands, shortness of breath, bloating, and hyper sensitivity to things. When I'm really nervous I kind of freeze up and don't like to move and make very awkward body language positions.

I was prescribed lexapro 10mg and ativan .25 twice a day as needed and after about 6 weeks I noticed some improvement. For the record I rarely took the benzo as I have anxiety about that. I've taken in times of desperate need .5 and it helps just doesn't last long.

So my anxiety was still there everyday after 6 weeks but to a lesser extent and on some days it is almost non existent. I actually thought was getting better!! However I still have a phobia of driving anywhere now and get shortness of breath and racy heart and dizzy while doing so. I do drive everyday but only to local places and somehow managed to drive to my new job on the hwy for a period of time.

Well the job is gone to due to lay offs and now I don't have health insurance and I quit lexapro cold turkey and I was fine for a few days and now I'm living in hell. I'm Extremely dizzy when on my feet but much better sitting or laying down. But around other people I am in full blown panic and I feel like just curling up in a ball. It's really bad so, I paid out of pocket for more lex as I figured that's my best solution. I should of never quit it but without insurance it's expensive and I actually thought I was good enough to quit. Any ideas when these symptoms will go away? I take 10mg once a day again got about days so far.

Sounds bad but I hate doctors and don't like telling them my problems because all their going to tell me is it's anxiety or some life threatening disease that frankly if rather not know! Now mind you nothing's ever happened during these spells, I just feel so tired and exhausted from living like this.

Oh and if I have any alcohol at all, the next day is a living nightmare!


I want to just live a normal life again and I'm getting married at the end of the year as well!

My fiancée helps me when I'm down but I know she gets frustrated too!
Help?
Posted 9/8/2014 8:18 PM (GMT 0)
Dont worry, I'm sure what you're going through is anxiety related. I have had the same symptoms over many years (some years feeling absolutely fine) and I was always sure it HAD to be more than anxiety....but no, nothing physically wrong but I was also sure the docs were all missing something. I have come to believe after all these years that anxiety can do unbelievable things to your body and mind. If I'm not feeling that I'm losing my mind, then I'm feeling like I have all the symptoms of some terminal disease. I've been on meds on and off for years and sometimes they help, sometimes not so much. But if it's any comfort to you at all, we ALL suffer a variety of physical symptoms with anxiety. I have died a hundred times over in my mind with all the physical symptoms I've had yet I'm still kicking at age 67. My anxiety started around age 20 and, as I said before, I have had many years anxiety free but when it returns, it's just as debilitating. No matter what you may think, you are ok, nothing you have said here make me believe it's anything but anxiety raising its ugly head.....I feel qualified to know, because I've lived it myself. Take your meds regularly until you start to feel better and then maybe wean yourself off them slowly....that's what I've done in the past and it's always worked well. Good luck to you.
Posted 9/8/2014 8:20 PM (GMT 0)
And by the way, I have three sons a little older than you, two of whom both have suffered with anxiety at various times in their lives. Sometimes I'm their therapist, and sometimes they're mine. We get through it knowing what it's all about and knowing it will pass eventually, maybe not permanently, but enough that we begin to realize we're not crazy or dying of something.
Posted 9/8/2014 8:21 PM (GMT 0)
So sorry you are going through this. Anxiety an panic attacks are just terrible. This forum is a great place to connect with people who have similar problems. I, too, suffered the worst panic attack in a car while driving home from Florida in April. We were in Kentucky and I had to pull over and let my husband drive. Then I had to have him pull over several more times. It was a mess, seeing as we still had about 10 hours of travel left. After that, and still to this day, I have a hard time being in a car.
I struggle with my anxiety everyday. I use buspar and Xanax to help control it. I am unsure about ssri's. I have a filled prescription of lexapro, but im too scared to take it. I have seen process though. I used to be on .5 Xanax 3x a day and now I'm down to between .25 and .125 a day. I can go places now, but I still have a decent level of anxiety that accompanies me. I know it will be gone someday, but it seems to be taking FOREVER.
Good luck in your journey:)
Posted 9/8/2014 8:21 PM (GMT 0)
GoBulls

Welcome to the forum! I have only been here for a couple weeks and I find a lot of comfort here as the people here understand what you're going through.

I am 34 years old and also suffer from severe anxiety so I totally understand how you feel. If I were you I would do anything you can to get back on your medication. This is so critical. Even if it means you have to pay out of pocket, it's so important to manage your anxiety.

Suddenly stopping your meds can trigger severe panic episodes. And also alcohol can do the same. I personally stay far away from alcohol. Just a couple thing to keep in mind.

Please keep us updated on your progress !

Post Edited (Cornell) : 9/8/2014 2:30:47 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/8/2014 8:33 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you for both of your replies, it really is a strange disorder and I'll admit I just have to fight through it but it's amazing how difficult it can be at times. People don't like listening to me about it as they think I'm full of it and it's an excuse to avoid things. But that's not me and it never has been me. Yes I still socialize and do these things but it's hard to do if I don't have a drink or something to calm my nerves down as I'm otherwise extremely nervous for no reason! It's my own family and friends!! But I don't like to use alcohol due to the anxiety it brings the next day so I'm in a lose lose situation. Although when I do drink with friends, I start feeling completely normal so therefor it has to be pure anxiety. Those situations only come around on weekends as everyone always wants to get together. I'm hanging in there and it's comforting to know there are other people like me and hopefully it gets better. I know I need to stop but I swear I spend hours each day researching weird symptoms lol. Ugh hopefully the lex starts working again soon:) I just figured 4 years later I would be back to normal!
Posted 9/8/2014 8:34 PM (GMT 0)
Hello and welcome!

Wow!! Lots of support here for you! :)

I will just add a couple of things...

One, here is the link to our Resources. You will find all sorts of info and self-help in there to get you started on feeling better in general...and managing your anxiety and attacks. Learn the coping skills and try the meditation. Practicing these everyday makes a difference! There is also on-line therapy and book recommendations, ect...

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9



The other thing I noticed, is that you are on a pretty low dose of the Lex...so with some self-help skills, you would likely do well, if you ended up not being able to procure more of your Rx. (there is a link for a site that has great weaning/discontinuation help in our Resources as well!  It is called 'The Road Back')

Best of luck...and post anytime!

Scaredy Cat

Posted 9/8/2014 8:37 PM (GMT 0)
Wow thanks for all the support, just talking with you all makes me feel better.. I think the low does of lex and ativan are perhaps more placebo effects? But then upon stopping the lexapro I feel like hell.

I've heard people tells if it makes u feel better than don't stop taking it. I just want to love without it but maybe I'm not ready!'

I sincerely appreciate all the support and look forward to better days ahead!
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply