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Posted 9/7/2014 6:14 PM (GMT 0)
Hello this is my first time posting anything on here. I'm a 21 year old female from Michigan. My anxiety first started after I had a panic attack after eating way too many *** brownies. I had never had a panic attack but I've always had quite a bit of anxiety.
The panic attack happened in Mar. 2014 and ever since then I have felt on edge. My anxiety turned into very scary intrusive thoughts. They were horrible and felt so real. Those come and go. I had never had any intrusive thoughts before so they were even more terrifying. I was constantly thinking that I would become a serial killer or I was going to go crazy or turn psychotic. When in reality I wouldn't ever hurt anyone.
More recently I've been having weird feelings of derealisation and I'll start to get weird thoughts like why are we here? What is the objective of life? Where will I go when I die? It is extremely distressing. I feel very disconnected and lost in my thoughts. The only time I don't think about those things are when I'm keeping busy. But at night, or when I'm alone they come on with full force.
So I guess what I really wanted to get from this is some peace of mind that I'm not crazy and that I will make it through. I've never been even slightly depressed but I sure am getting there. What steps should I take to overcome this?

Post Edited By Moderator (Scaredy Cat) : 9/7/2014 9:05:40 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/7/2014 7:04 PM (GMT 0)
bribee,

First thing I would recommend is a trip to the doctors. Tell them your symptoms and they can determine if you need medication or not. And don't feel bad if you do! The first time I was put on an antidepressant I felt very misunderstood. But it was the best thing that could have happened to me at the time because it helped me relax and become more like my old self.
I would also recommend seeing a therapist. My therapist helped me through so much. She really understood me and my feelings and helped me deal with reality.
Anxiety and depression are hard to go through and you need people there for you who understand what you're going through. This is a great place for that. The people I've talked to on here have really helped me understand I'm not alone - you aren't either.
Keep posting and talking and don't feel like you're going crazy because you aren't.
Good luck
Posted 9/7/2014 7:20 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you, I will definitely be going to set up an appointment with a therapist/doctor. Even just reading these posts has made me feel a lot better and like I'm not alone in my struggle. I definitely just want to get back to my old self and not be constantly on edge.
Posted 9/7/2014 11:35 PM (GMT 0)
Bribee,

This happens to me too. A couple of days ago I saw a big building while I was in the car and I began to question if it was real or not. This thought then led to the other thoughts like you were having. I then had a panic attack about 10 min later. Just like you I'm fine when I'm doing something but when I'm alone/bored (like when I was in the car) my thoughts also wander, especially at night. What I try now in the day is to live/think in the present and if my thoughts do wander I try to pull myself back into the present to focus on something (watch a youtube vid or something like that). At night when I'm about to go to bed I try to think of what I have planned for the next day and all of the fun stuff I'm going to do.I don't know if this will help but it has been working for me. Staying positive is key, take life one day at a time, you are not alone.
Posted 9/7/2014 11:52 PM (GMT 0)
Quite common after smoking or eating *********. I'm 43 and smoked in college 20 years ago but never since bc it gave me anxiety attacks too many times, wasn't worth it! Plus I can freak out on my own, don't need an extra substance to do it for me! blush

Many of us have what's called "Depersonalization" which is what you're describing. Or disassociation/detachment. It feels terrible like you're an alien. I describe it as "feeling like a stranger in my familiar world." It's an anxiety (and sometimes depression) symptom. The bad news is it sucks. The good news is it's not deadly or permanent and you are NOT crazy or going to go crazy.

I've had intrusive OCD thoughts too but just remember, thats exactly what they are, thoughts. Not actions. This is where a therapist can REALLY help you cope with these thoughts. They're obnoxious and annoying but treatable. Not uncommon at all. I asked my friend who doesn't take meds or have anxiety/depression if she ever gets intrusive thoughts and she said "yes! usually right before I go to bed and I have crazy thoughts that I'm going to throw my baby off a bridge!" She doesn't live near a bridge. She isn't violent, never has been, never will be, loves her baby lol. I lol not to discount how rotten this feels but it's truly treatable and not uncommon. People just don't usually talk about it.

Same goes for the depersonalization/derealization crap. It's not uncommon, just not talked about bc we feel crazy if we do. That's where a therapist trained in anxiety/depression can help you with coping skills and changing your thoughts.

Soccer1 gave good advice to focus on the present. It's called Mindfulness and it's the new and great form of therapy that requires practice. The forum promotes it heavily. Mindful.org is a good place to start.

Get into a good therapist and they can refer you to a psychiatrist too if they think medication could help you. If they do, don't be scared, "everybody's doing it." turn You may only need some therapy and no meds but either way, they're both ok!

Take care and don't feel alone or weird, You aren't and you're going to be ok!

Lisa

Post Edited By Moderator (Scaredy Cat) : 9/7/2014 9:07:06 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/8/2014 12:28 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the replies! They really make me feel a lot better. :) I'm really glad I joined this forum! Makes me feel not so alone. I'm not against getting on meds I think it could really help me in the long run. My sister struggled with depression and medication has really helped her and made her a much happier person.
Posted 9/8/2014 3:11 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Bribee and welcome!
Great advice given above!! I will just add some self-help links that you can get started on until you can seek some guidance from your doctor.
Here is our Resource Guide...it it filled with great infor and material for stress management:https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=104206
Posted 9/8/2014 6:47 AM (GMT 0)
Just WOW.

First off I had no idea what that was. I see people post about derealization and never thought I experienced it. But I guess I have. This past year I have questioned EVERYTHING. Even my faith. I have really been looking into conspiracy theory because I'm so over the edge I think everything is bad or out to get us.

That stuff makes my anxiety worse too. I went and got a medical card hoping it would be a cure all. I tried numerous things there and I end up freaking out. Not to mention edibles are a high dose much more than smoking and it's hard to tell how much is ok to take. Needless to say I gave up. My husband keeps pressuring me to do it more but he doesn't have issues like I do and doesn't understand that feeling puts me in greater anxiety.

I'm happy you're going to seek help. If you don't want medication at least get someone you can talk to. I take anxiety pills as needed but prefer not to put chemicals in my body. Not to mention I'm really sensitive to most medications.

Good luck and welcome!
Posted 9/8/2014 10:09 AM (GMT 0)
It is very distressing questioning everything you know. I use to have a strong faith in God until I started over thinking and over analyzing everything. It's like I can't believe in anything anymore. I have so many questions that can't get answered. I'm scared of the unknown.
Posted 9/8/2014 4:37 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Bribee, first of all, Welcome :)

Those are exactly the same things many of us experienced when we first had Anxiety/panic. These may be quite annoying but one gets use to them over time. As long as you know all of those physical symptoms and sensations are anxiety related :)

As mentioned in previous posts, it's best for you to visit a doctor and describe what you feel so that they can give you meds which can help. I highly recommend therapy during medication and it will help you to understand and change the pattern of your thoughts. Do not feel bad because you have anxiety, there are sure solutions for it. And success is highly possible.

Please write more often in forums, whenever you feel sad, happy, when you have news, questions, etc :)
I hope you feel better soon <3
Posted 9/8/2014 7:35 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the support everyone! I'm sure I'll be posting on here quite a bit.
Posted 9/10/2014 3:31 AM (GMT 0)
Just wanted to add to the chorus of replies saying that they feel better knowing they're not alone in this ... I have felt this way on and off my whole life. It used to scare me more than it does now, but I still feel like a freak a lot of the time because of it! It's comforting to think that it's more common than I thought.
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