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Really struggling, for a week now. :(

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Posted 9/14/2014 4:45 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Anxiety Friends,

This week has been incredibly tough for me in regards to anxiety. I am contemplating using Ativan again, haven't used it in around 3 or 4 months. My heart palpitations have been highly increased this weekend, and a visit to the doctor on Friday for other issues did not give me any reassurance about life/health. I have had an increasing number of stresses on me, but I just feel like absolute poo. Sorry for the lack of better words. I can't seem to get comfortable in my own skin.

I feel like crying, but can't, because when I cry I get more heart palpitations! cry

Does anyone have any advice?

I was thinking about finding a new doctor who isn't going to assume that I'm suffering from anxiety and maybe he/she will find something that can be treated?
Posted 9/14/2014 4:56 PM (GMT 0)
Hello too,

First I recommend a new doctor. Secondly you need to relax if you stress more and more it will get worse and worse which could then leading to things you really don't want. I am like you I do have anxiety but you need to get a new doctor to help you. Try using some calming music and lying down it works. Because when you are lying down you heart starts to beat slower which helps anxiety. Also close your eyes and breath in for 5 and hold it for 2 and breath out for 5. Trust me it works remeber to drink water daily :)
Posted 9/14/2014 5:10 PM (GMT 0)
I think you deserve to have a doctor who will not always fall back on anxiety. Absolutely. It's too easy of an answer for everything. And sometimes you need that reassurance by running a test.

But it very well might be anxiety. You shouldn't feel bad for using Ativan. I should take my own advice, because sometimes I feel like I'm letting myself down if I have to take Xanax. But then I think about being pulled back into the vicious panic cycle and I'd do just about anything to avoid that. Haha!

Hopefully you will feel better soon:)
Posted 9/14/2014 6:15 PM (GMT 0)
I know it's hard but you must learn to be logical in your thinking. Firstly, did something happen that triggered your fears? Your brain keep thinking and telling you to be negative, and you cant jump out from this Hell hole. learn to re train your thoughts..

Did you have a doctor you trusted more? I think that will be beneficial...
Posted 9/14/2014 7:16 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all for your responses thus far. I am beyond grateful that you took some time to speak into my situation. MUCH APPRECIATED.

Theresa410, I am a bit behind in my water drinking over the past few days. And I haven't been doing breathing techniques, so thanks so much for the reminder. I am going to spend the next 15 minutes doing just that.

Momtogigiandquinn, It is so hard for me to take Ativan, because then I think that the anxiety won and it will once again be ruling my life. Which, it already is over the past week, so why not make it a little easier to ride out these hard times? If I still feel icky in an hour I am going to take half of a pill. :( Hope you can stick to your own advice too! Thanks so much for the encouragement.

fireworks, Thanks for the reminder to realize that this is happening for a reason. Something must have set my anxiety off a week ago and the moments have continued to escalate until I am where I am now----overwhelmed. They did indeed, you are correct. I received some very tough news a little over a week ago, and then a few days later I started having what I thought were new chest pains, to which the doctor thought was a strained/pulled muscle. *sigh* Now today, I still have to live through the bad news that I received, and with an overwhelmed self. *hmph* this is HARD!

As for my doctor, I do trust him to the greatest degree that I can trust anyone. I am an ACA, so trust does not come easy, it's more of a learned process. :(
Posted 9/15/2014 2:02 AM (GMT 0)
Hi TMA,

I am really sorry that you have had a rough week of it! I too have had a tough couple of weeks...something in the atmosphere?!?

It is great to be able to come here and relate to others. Not that we want anyone esle to feel badly...but it is a comfort to know that going through these situations is part of the human condition. And beyond that...we have friends here who understand.:)

I do hope that you and your circumstances have a complete turnaround very soon. Do all that you need to in order to feel better....seek a second opinion...double up on your self-help practices...

Keep us posted as to how you are doing, okay?

S.C.
Posted 9/15/2014 2:04 AM (GMT 0)
Don't fear your meds. If you need an Ativan take it. No good will come of feeling like you want to jump out of your skin. I've been there- yuck!
Wishing you peace and calm
Posted 9/15/2014 7:37 PM (GMT 0)
I guess my biggest fear in seeking a second opinion is that I will have two sets of doctors thinking I have anxiety. In my head there must must must must must be some underlying condition that is causing all of my physical symptoms. And I sincerely hope that some doctor somewhere will figure it out and cure me (and all of you!) once and for all.

I have been praying long and hard about this and I am going to let God's Holy Spirit lead me in my next steps. If that is to seek a second opinion or not, I don't know yet!

Thanks to everyone for the input.
Posted 9/15/2014 8:29 PM (GMT 0)
TMA.,

Using prayer and your personal faith is a comfort, and I am sure that you will find direction for your next move by petition and listening! :)

Peace,

S.C.
Posted 9/15/2014 11:43 PM (GMT 0)
TMA- how long have you been having the heart palpitations? Did it start when you started the Lexapro? I've read here and a personal friend of mine, got heart palps from the AD they were on. My friends was from Cymbalta. I was on that and never got palps so we are all different.

I'm sorry abt your struggles. I believe my funk that started in February and has taken awhile to find the right meds, started all last year with health anxiety. I let it go so long that it led me to depression. I was on Cymbalta when it started. Switching to a new AD in Jsnuary turned out to make things worse. Been on a medicine Merry go round since. Untreated anxiety can cause depression. Or vice versa. They both often accompany eachother. I never know which comes first tho. I guess it doesn't matter bc if one or both are there, they need treated either w/meds & or therapy.

You know I understand bc you read my post. We will carry eachother when we can't walk with this, until we get better!!

Hugs,
Lisa
Posted 9/16/2014 12:25 AM (GMT 0)
have you tried buspar? i have ativan but like you feel bad about taking it often. buspar works so well i dont need the ataivan except for emergencys
Posted 9/16/2014 1:30 AM (GMT 0)
Lesweet-

I started having heart palpitations in February. They totally freaked me out. I started having them daily, around 6-7 really noticeable times a day. I was not on any medication (other than post partum pain pills) and had just had a baby girl around 4.5 weeks prior to the pvc's starting.

I had been on an aspirin regimen during the pregnancy, so I always wonder if that has affected my blood flow in some way. I also had an induced labor, which also makes me wonder if that affected me in some way. I also had 3 friends pass away during those weeks after my baby was born, one of which was of a heart attack. I also had to move out of my house for those first 3 and a half weeks. Then my husband came down with shingles, which could be deadly in newborns so my husband had to stay away.

So I was trying to gracefully handle everything and went on 4 hours of sleep a night for 6 straight weeks. Trying to take care of a toddler and an older autistic son, and a newborn. I just can't figure out why I can't seem to get my act back together now that things have settled down. Or have they!??!!

Sorry, I realize that was too much information, but I guess it just helps to rant sometimes!!


Buspar has such a funny name, it always makes me think bad of it. What is Buspar?
Posted 9/16/2014 3:18 AM (GMT 0)
Oh girl. It 'ain't no wonder you had issues. Lack of sleep is huge on it's own let alone loss of friends, post partum hormones, hubby w/shingles who couldn't help w/baby plus a toddler and an autistic son. Girllllll! You had your plate full!

Do you feel like your Lexapro isn't working? Obviously meds don't take away all of our anxiety but are your daily functions & emotions prior to this rough week, been fairly in check (all things considered)?

Had you ever been on AD's before? If you feel it's not working, there are so many other meds you can try.

Do you have family or friends around that could help with the kids to give you a break here and there, even if to take a walk or go to the grocery alone or to go eat a hot fudge sundae alone or with a girlfriend? smilewinkgrin

Keep talking here. We love to listen and help!

Lisa
Posted 9/16/2014 11:41 AM (GMT 0)
Too,

I'm pretty sure lack of sleep caused my most recent bout of anxiety. My 1 year olds sleeping schedule got all screwed up in February/March and it took about a month to correct. She was getting up every night between 2:00am-3:00 for at least an hour or two. Then I had to get up at 6:45 to get my other daughter ready for school. I'm pretty sure that started the ball rolling. By the end of April, I was in full blown anxiety mode, even though she had went back to her normal sleeping routine a month earlier. It just seemed to creep up on me.
Posted 9/17/2014 1:50 AM (GMT 0)
lesweet- Sometimes I wonder if the Lexapro isn't what I need. I'm actually contemplating taking myself off of it. I'm at a super low dose right now, so it wouldn't be too hard to wean off of it. I may try life medicine free for a while and see how that goes. I do drink a glass of wine almost daily, so that definitely helps my anxiety.

What medicines are you currently taking? And I am so happy that you were able to get out today for a nature adventure! (I think that was in another post!) I actually ran today for the first time in 2 years. I didn't run fast, or far, but I ran! I felt like it was a miracle from God. Baby steps, baby steps.


Momtogigiandquinn- Have you got caught up on your rest yet? I guess that's a silly question, because you can never get enough rest when you have kids! At least that's what I'm figuring out. I feel like I could sleep for the next 2 weeks straight and still be tired!
Posted 9/17/2014 2:11 AM (GMT 0)
TMA- I'm currently on 100mg Pristiq & 50mg Lamictal. I started the Pristiq in June. Wasn't doing anything so they added Wellbutrin in July. Wasn't doing anything so they added Lamictal in August. Finally started feeling some relief. More good days/weeks. Then Saturday afternoon I felt that off/disconnected/weird feeling and have had it since except for yesterday afternoon and evening. Woke up with it today but did go to that nature preserve and had a nice time.

I see psych on Friday. I'm assuming they will switch AD again. I think I like the Lamictal so I'm ok staying on that.

I've been dealing with this BS since February! I'd been in "remission" from depression/anxiety for years on Cymbalta. Prior to Cymbalta (I started it bc was feeling depressed/anxious again after yrs of not), I wasn't on any meds from age 25-37. (I'd had 2 bouts of it in college and took Prozac both times & went off it w/in 6 months-year after getting better).

Tried Prozac again in 2008 but it didn't work this time so got on Cymbalta. Loved it. Started pooping out & switched to Zoloft in Jan of this yr and by Feb I was a mess, way worse than on pooped out Cymbalta! I've been on a med roller coaster since! Never in my life on a med roller coaster mad

I've got both depression/anxiety but this disconnect feeling is very uncomfortable & weird. I just want my old self back. I believe I'll get there but it's hard not to get ticked off and frustrated!

Are you sorry you asked? LOL

HUGS,
Lisa
Posted 9/17/2014 2:24 AM (GMT 0)
From the sounds of the stressors in your life- if you didn't have anxiety symptoms it would be abnormal.

Wishing you peace
Posted 9/17/2014 2:18 PM (GMT 0)
lesweet- Sounds like a tricky situation. I imagine that would be so crazy to try and navigate those meds. Lucky you for getting a big break in your anxiety/depression though. That must have been wonderful! Strangest thing, I started feeling off/weird on Saturday'ish too. It felt like my mind was spaced out/not there. I wanted to think, but couldn't really think. It was so strange! I felt like my mind was a sack of potatoes! I have been feeling much better yesterday and today, and yesterday my heart palpitations were not super noticeable so that always makes for a good day in and of itself.

Are you going to try for that job? On another note, do you have any favorite tv shows? Totally random I know, but we don't have cable tv so I always imagine it would be so great to sit around and watch cable tv all day. LOL. If only for a day. Anyway, I have been watching a show called NY Med and it's been very uplifting to say the least. Just thought I'd mention it!

and Weary, thanks SOOOOOOO much!!!!
Posted 9/17/2014 2:53 PM (GMT 0)
TMA- we have cable but I mostly only watch local news, wheel of fortune/jeopardy (LOL), & the OWN network on Sundays for Super Soul Sunday. I LOVE Super Soul Sunday. Hubby & I don't have a favorite show except for new episodes on Super Soul Sunday. Oh, on Saturday evenings we watch Iyanla Save My Life.

We aren't huge tv/movie watchers. We don't even own a DVD player LOL.

I wish I could sit around and watch the tube but I just don't enjoy it. We used to play an interactive computer game called World of Warcraft. Played it for like 8 yrs!!!! It's a game you play with multiple other players. I didn't realize my husband was a gamer until we married haha. I'd never played computer games except Atari back in the early 80's & solitaire! World of Warcraft was actually really fun but we got bored with it. You'd never know I was a "gamer" based on stereotypes out there :-)

I went to a new bible study this morning. It was nice. It meets every Wednesday morning.

We live in a townhome and our clubhouse is having a pizza and salad lunch for free for the residents. My neighbor and I are going over there to eat. I love free things LOL.

Wishing you a peaceful & pleasant day. Love our conversations and love how helpful and caring ppl are on this forum <3

Lisa
Posted 9/18/2014 2:53 AM (GMT 0)
buspar is a non narcotic anti anxiety med thats non addicting. its not as strong a a benzo like ativan but at least you can take it with out fear of addiction. sadly for some it dosnt work but for me it shure does . it can be added to many antidepresants esp the ssri class. give it a try and see if it works for you. i no longer need benzos. daily dose is 15-30 mg a day but usually i only need a 5-7.5 dose.
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