New here, need support and understanding

HI everyone. I am a 45 year old single woman with 2 successful california small businesses and I suffer from excruciating generalized anxiety. I have tried every med out there to no avail. but I decided once again to give it another chance and just started on Lexapro again. I was on this maybe 10 years ago. the side effects suck so I have to very slowly increase the dose to get to the 20mg my doctor wants me at. The last 5 days my anxiety has been off the charts- not sleeping, racing heartbeat, constant worry and dread. I read up on Lexapro and found out that in the early days of starting it- it can cause increased agitation and anxiety. I hope to God this is what I am dealing with and that it will lessen over time.

but that does not still solve my daily and chronic angst and fear. I have dealt with anxiety most of my adult life but it has definitely gotten worse in the last 5 years. This is no way to live! This hurts- to walk around in daily constant fear that something bad is going to happen. It is like an alien inside my head.

I do a lot of inner work. meditate, pray, yoga and therapy. I just started seeing a new therapist who is very spiritual ( good for me) and she is also a hypnotherapist. So far, I really like her. She is very kind and reassuring and that is important to me.

I am just saying hello and hopeful that this site can provide additional support. Thank you all for being here. I am not sure what my signature should be so I will do my best.

chronic and acute generalized anxiety
Lexapro and minimal Klonipin
prayer, meditation and therapy

Thank you Larry. My name is Kathy and I am happy to have found this site. love , compassion and caring are all the best medicines.

Welcome Kathy. HW is a very nice place to discuss about our issues. Everyone is trying to help each other.
Hope to read your posts more often.

Thank you everyone. Can anyone tell me if they have experienced increased anxiety when starting a new med? the timing makes me wonder. I wake up with full body anxiety, with no specific "cause". it feels like my body is in flight syndrome.

Yes Kathy, definitely. Im on sertraline again for a month now (after a long period of time i started again). First two weeks i had increased anxiety. That is very common with ADs. Don't worry about it, its normal. Now after a month, i dont feel anxiety. Just getting better. If you dont count my regular HA episodes. :P haha
As Circus Dog said, be patient. Its worth it.
Good luck.

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.- Kahlil Gibran.

My quote to share with all of you strong souls.

Thank you so much for welcoming me here.

I'm on lexapro as well and just went from 10 to 20 mg. I have definitely had an increase in anxiety, especially those that cause my heart to race. I can already tell that it's tapering off and I'm starting to feel better

Yes I agree that this site is the best one out there and is the best treatment for my anxiety. I turn to it all the time to not only get support, but hopefully give some too. I am a young (I like to think) 67 with three wonderful grown sons and two twin grandsons who are three. But now I live alone with my two dogs who are my dearest friends and am recently retired so wonder if that's the reason for the spike in my anxiety these last months. I've live with anxiety on and off all my life...some years feeling perfectly fine and others racked with anxiety. I do think starting new meds can make anxiety worse....not sure if we do it to ourselves because we're expecting it, or whether it really just takes time to get accustomed to it. Over all these years I have taken a small dose of Xanax when anxiety is at its worse and it still always helps somewhat, sometimes more than others of course. My therapist is always trying to put me on an antidepressant but I'm afraid of those too because of the side effects I've read or heard about. So I plug along taking my Xanax primarily in the morning when my anxiety is always off the charts and once in awhile (like tonite) when it's bad in the evening too. My primary issue is health anxiety, constantly thinking I'm dying of something and that has gone on since I was 7 years old. You'd think by now I'd realize most of my worries were for naught, but NOOOO....every ache and pain still means cancer or some rare terminal disease. And because i have the health anxiety, my therapist feels an antidepressant would help alot. But, as i said before, I'm afraid to start it. But all I can say to you, if you're a braver soul than me, is give the meds a few weeks to settle in...if your anxiety doesn't improve, then either give it up or try something else. Good luck

Kathy, every time I begin a new med whether it is for my anxiety or a simple cold my anxiety revs up. I want to echo what many have already said. This is a wonderful site to obtain support. I am guilty of taking more support than I give. With that being said I don't know where I would be at without the wonderful people on this site. My family doesn't understand and won't even learn to understand. My work is stressful and I can't tell anyone there. So I turn to this site to get me through. I hope you are helped by those that have helped me.

HI everyone! wow, such wonderful thoughtful replies. Thank you so so much. Cornell- to answer your question- my coping skills around my business are imperfect at best. I also have a weird type of OCD that makes me feel compelled" to do everything right now"- from answering emails to returning phone calls. It is a compulsion that is NOT helped by having a business where many many people reach out to me all the time. I am a dog trainer and have a team of 8 people working for me. I have a very successful business in that I have a solid good reputation and never a want for more clients. but now instead of being happy when i get a call from a new client, I feel dread. I cannot handle all the work and I have lost my passion because I cannot keep up with everything , even though I am driven to. most evenings I eat dinner at 10pm.

but here is the good news- my anxiety has gotten SO BAD the last few months that I knew I had to make some changes, however small. so this is what IS working for me-

1- not taking on any new clients
2- paying someone else to do some of this admin work hell. even though I used to be able to do it on my own, I know now, I have to cut back.
3- turning off my phone at 9pm and not back on till after morning prayer and mediation
4- turning off computer at 9pm.
5- setting stronger boundaries with clients. no more last minute sessions, 24 cancellation policy

I believe that beyond this anxiety - I am pure loving consciousness. I am a divine being that is so much larger than the words in my head. I am trying to tap into this place more - being by Still, looking at Nature, daily prayer to Source and a good cry every day if possible.

Love and Caring to all of you brave souls!