So sick of morning anxiety

I have suffered with anxiety upon waking for a very long time. I first wake feeling like I could fall back to sleep but within a minute or so I start with the adrenalin rush, the shaky, scared feeling so I have to get up and start my day. For a long time once I was up I felt much better but lately the feeling just escalates to full anxiety during the day. I sometimes think that that horrible waking feeling now just sets the tone for the rest of the day and I just EXPECT to be anxious all day, so I am. Having severe health anxiety since I was very young makes me expect the worst with every ache or pain I get so now I think I'm doing the same thing with my anxiety....almost inventing it myself to the point where I actually have it. Sound ridiculous? I'm sure it does but I can't seem to stop thinking about my anxiety, where it's going to lead, will I be hospitalized, will I go crazy and I cant seem to get past the "fear" of anxiety itself which only serves to make me MORE anxious. I know obsessive thoughts are part of anxiety and I certainly have those frequently but now I just obsess over anxiety itself....a vicious circle in which, as usual, I know I'm my own worst enemy but can only seem to break it if I'm fully entrenched in doing something....and it passes for awhile, then I'm back to my crazy thoughts when I'm alone and nothing is going on. Being retired now after working many, many years has left me with the feeling of having no purpose. I am taking care of a lady with ALS part time and you would think that would make me more grateful for my life but, in fact, I come away feeling more anxious and exhausted. As ScaredyCat said recently to me...."that would be too much of a "trigger' for me so I couldn't do that work. But I don't want to give it up because it's only three hours a day, five days a week and the money is great. I also like to feel like I'm helping someone who needs it so desperately. She is very difficult to care for, can't do anything on her own.....feeding, toileting, showering and all she says is that she wants to die. So I recognize this atmosphere is not the best for someone like me but I really don't know what to do. I can't say that this situation is the entire reason for my anxiety, as I've suffered with it on and off during my life but recently it's reared it's ugly head much more severely than in recent years. So anyway, that's my said whiny story. Any people suffer from this type of anxiety where you seem to bring it on yourself?

Hi andwes. I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing morning anxiety. That is the worst! I went through a couple of months of that and it is so hard. Have you tried meditating in the morning? I know it is hard to imagine sitting still when you are having anxiety, but it really does help. It helped me to retrain my brain for what was happening in the morning.

I'd have to agree with what SC said about working for someone with ALS. It would be a constant trigger for me also. I know you like the money and it is nice to help someone, but maybe this isn't the best fit for you? What kind of work did you do before you retired? Can you find part time work doing that? Is there some other field you'd like to explore? Is there a sport you like? Could you volunteer coaching or something like that? Something that would give you a "purpose", but not cause additional stress/anxiety. My mom just retired and she always wanted to be a teacher. She's looking at volunteering at a local school to fulfill her need to be "needed".

I hope your day gets better!

Andwes,

I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers...I do hope that you are able to decide what the best situation for managing your anxiety is...and what that does and doesn't include...

Until you can make any definitive decisions...there are some really good therapy worksheet downloads in our Resources (it is a link...if you can't find it, let me know and I will pull and post for you)

What these worksheets due is help you to take a worrisome thought, and break it down using rational thinking...essentially taking away its power.

Using this tool along with stress relieveing exercises (breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation,ect...) is a powerful treatment combo!

Even if we can't avoid our triggers altogether...we can work to change our reactions to them.

With understanding, my friend,

S.C.