severe health anxiety regarding cancer

Hi

Im new here so sorry for the long post. I am 44 and from England. Happily Married with 2 teenage children. I enjoy my life and dont really have any worries..................

Except......I know i suffer from severe health anxiety. My anxiety is continuous every minute of the day, i dont get attacks. i Just live it 24/7. I take Amitriptyline which helps but still doesnt stop it.

Im going through a bad time at the moment, probably the worst in my life.

My anxiety is shot on two fronts.

1) 20 months ago i had an x-ray and then a ct scan on my chest as i failed a spirometry test, had been breathless for a while, i had bad fatigue and pains in my back when i breathed. The scan was without contrast and only lasted 20 seconds but came back ok. Then 6 months later i started getting bone pains in my lower back and hip which have got slowly progressively worse since. Ive been to the docs lots of times regarding this, Ive been on Vitamin D tablets for 4 months that did nothing, Naproxen that did nothing and even physio that also did absolutely nothing. For the last month my elbow has started hurting and even my jaw. The Doc has never sent me for a bone scan in 14 months and seems to want to exhaust all the cheaper options first. The back pains when i breathe have also started again and i cant help but think its lung Cancer and the ct scan either missed the tumour or it was too small back then to be seen and now its grown and spread early to my bones. I still have the breathlessness and fatigue to this day and i feel like there is something that wont let me take a full breath and makes me want to cough all the time.

2) While being tested for low testosterone my doc did a PSA blood test and DRE exam. He then stated i have an enlarged prostate and has made me an urgent referral to see a Urologist. He seemed worried, his voice and manner changed so im now panicing that the bone pains are the result of prostate cancer that has spead to bones.

I have never smoked (dad used to so i had passive smoke when i was a child) and am only 44 so i am fairly low risk but can a Lung Tumour that was undetectable on a ct scan without contrast, grow so quickly that in 6 to 9 months it had already spread and was painful in my bones? Surely if it was LC, after 14 months bone pain, meaning Stage 4 mets with no treatment i would have been on deaths door by now wouldnt i?

And for prostate cancer, only being 44 and having a low PSA blood result means its also long odds for prostate cancer..But someone has to get it and I have read that agressive Prostate cancer can give very low PSA readings even though its terminal.

I do look at statistics and know that LC and PC are rare in a man of my age but it happens (there are many in the prostate forum my age and younger) and my bone pain is getting worse and not going away with conventional medicine or physio.

I just cant seem to get anything moving. The NHS waiting times are terrible. Ive got to wait 2 weeks to see my GP and beg so he sends me for another chest x-ray and my urology referral is a month away.

My wife is convinced its all in my head but its not. These pains are real and keep me up awake most of the night. The daft thing is i want to know but also dread to know incase its bad news as i have so much to live for. Hows that for bad health anxiety, i think i need a shrink!

 

Hi

First of all a big welcome to our forum you will find great support here from the members who will be able to relate to what you are going through re anxiety.

I also live in the UK so no how long you can wait to be seen by a specialist so I hope you get seen sooner rather than later. I have health anxiety and have convinced myself that I have had all sorts of medical conditions and continually have to seek reassurance from my GP. It sounds to me like you have a good GP and he is making the necessary referrals for you. I am sorry to hear of your health issues but can't really comment on that as I am not a doctor so do keep in touch with yours.

With regards to anxiety talking therapies such as CBT or Mindfulness can really make a huge difference by teaching you coping techniques so I would ask your GP about a referral to your local mental health team who will be able to advice on these. SC has given you some really good links so check those out also have a look at www.moodgym.com which is a free CBT site.

I try and not google any of my symptoms because quite often this leads to my anxiety getting much worse so try and avoid that if you can.

I am really glad you have found us and want to let you know we are here to support you so keep posting and keep us updated.


Hibee

thanks Larry

Yes the referral date cant come quick enough. shame its a month away.
Do you know if an enlarged prostate can also cause pain in the groin area to the hip bone. i have heard about lower back pain but not so much around the hip. I dont think its actually part of the joint as i can walk ok. the pain is when i widen my legs. (as men do when we sit down) This pain seems to be worse than ever at the moment.

Well I'm struggling today........

I was doing so well with your mantra over the last few days, then......
I went for an ultrasound on my groin pain yesterday and they have said the chain of lymph nodes that run down the crease near my hip are all swollen. I know that they can be swollen if it's infection or metastatic cancer but I haven't had an infection for ages. So now im freaking out!! I've trying to be positive but all I can think about is cancer. all my symptoms with bone pain and breathing problems all point to lung or prostate cancer. I thought it may be prostatitis but it doesn't cause swollen nodes so it must be cancer.

I haven't told my wife yet but inside I'm screaming. My upper back and upper chest hurts so bad when I breathe and I've even thought about going to A&E to get a chest x-ray just so it puts me out of my misery. I have with held from going as I have always believed A&E should be for emergencies only.

I had a clear chest ct scan 18 months ago and started with bone pain 9 months later so it must have grown and spread in those 9 months. Is that possible if it's aggressive? I am so upset with myself that I didn't push for another scan at the beginning of the year.

I'm even at a stage where I would rather have prostate cancer to lung cancer as I know metastatic lc is a very fast and horrible death. I have never even smoked but dad did. At least with prostate cancer I may get a little longer. I've studied the statistics and only 10% of lung cancers are to non smokers, so there are only 17 people between 40 and 44 who. Have never smoked (170 total) are diagnosed with lung cancer each year and I may be one of them.

I have prayed to God and made a deal I will be a good christian if he can make me not have cancer.

I don't have an appointment with my gp until 29th september and then time to have the scan and then time waiting to hear results. By then I will be a nervous wreck.

I look forward to Monday when I have work to take my mind off it. Although I don't know how long I will be able to work.

Post Edited (york70) : 9/20/2014 10:37:58 AM (GMT-6)

York,

My heart aches for you. I can see just how scared and distressed you are. I wish that there was something that I could say to take all the fear away...

Let's try to look at it from this perspective:

1-you do not have a diagnoses of cancer...what you have is a fear of it. Your symptoms are not purely indicative of cancer, but could be of many things. Try not to self-diagnose.

2-what you DO have is anxiety. Anxiety is a liar. It will tell you things that blind all reason and rationality. Don't let it take over here.

So while you can't change all aspects of your situation currently...or immediately know the outcome of your test results....

...what you CAN do now is seek to manage your anxiety, and this will bring you some relief...so that you can move foward, get your answers...and move beyond these fears.

We are here to walk along side you as you go through this. Please work through the modules in the above links, so that you can be pro-actively working on the one known factor that is making you feel so awful...anxiety.

Keep posting,

S.C.

Please listen to what everyone has said. Especially those who have been where you are. And most importantly read again what Larry has written. He is going through your greatest fear. He knows what it takes to get through it with your sanity intact!!! He is a kind and very wise man. Focus on the fact that if your fears materialize (and at this point there's no reason to believe they will) this type of cancer is very curable. My prayers are with you to help you through this. Keep updating the board on your progress and fears. Help is a posting away!

Good for you for making that initial step on getting that scan!!! Let us know how it goes.

Thanks for replying.

Yes ive looked at all the statistics and i know im low risk for Lung cancer. its the one thing im clinging too. I'm just a worrier i guess. im such a pessimist that i always think that the bad things will happen to me. I have been breathless for so long now and the ultrasound test showing the swollen inguinal lymph nodes really sent my hyperchondria into overdrive.

 

Post Edited (york70) : 9/22/2014 7:09:28 AM (GMT-6)

wow i wish i was 25. Unfortunately im now 44 years old and bad things start to happen at this age. When i look at all the cancer statistics, the curves are all starting to go up from 40 onwards.

The crazy thing about all this is that up until being 36 years old, i had been to the doctor once since i was 16. once in 20 years!! and that was because i had bad sinusitis and i needed antibiotics. At 36 i got a headache while at the gym and ive never been the same since. Now im at the docs every few months with problems, Its amazing what triggers all this.