What does it mean to "work harder?"

I can remember being told things like,......I wasn't trying enough. I wasn't working hard enough. I needed to work harder at brushing my teeth, or cleaning the floor, or brushing the horse, or (insert anything else --->here<----)

I always took that literally. So I'd brush my teeth, or my horse, aggressively, as in, with a heavy hand. Trying to clean, I'd "use elbow grease" as I was instructed (which to me meant use all your might and dig in!)

I'm here to say: That is not what "working harder" means. It doesn't mean try harder or even to poor your ALL into something.

What it *does* mean is to work more efficiently and more effectively. And sometimes that takes a gentle hand, some determination, patience, persistence. Rarely does it mean exert yourself with every bit of strength and energy. Now. Hard. Fast.

It's no wonder we get frustrated. I realize not everyone interprets things literally, but I always have. And I'm only now coming to figure this stuff out. Whew. Well, better late than never, eh? :)





M.

I take things literally too...I always think I am a bit "child like" in that respect, but I just cant help it, and the consequences of that is that you end up not really understanding things correctly from others, so its a bit of a pain!

I guess I am one of the lucky (or blessed) ones as I actually learned this early in life as I built my business. My old bosses would tell me and my co workers that if we didn't work harder (or meet our company quotas) that we would be replaced. I was in awe how my financial destiny and my ability to provide for my family was in the hands of one man. If he had a bad day and was in a bad mood or if I had an "off" day, he could terminate me literally putting my family and I on the streets. So I saved, saved and saved and we eventually bought out a company.... thus finally putting me in control of my own destiny. We "worked smart" and grew the business into 50 employees. I take pride in the fact that I will NEVER get fired from a boss and will always have amazing income as long as I take care of business. Thank God for my wife and my father in law as they has picked up my slack as I am fighting this anxiety/ depression.

There's no doubt if I had not made provision financially for my family in my early twenties that we would be hurting now as I have been debilitated by this disorder in the last few months.

I am trying to raise my kids to "work smarter" while teaching them a good work ethic. My ultimate dream would be to have my girls work for the family biz but I want that to be their decision. LOL my youngest one wants to be a mail man. She is 4!!!

I was raised by a single mother and watched her struggle for years trying to raise us kids. She got assistance from the state but it was never enough. I watched her cry at Christmas time because she didn't have any money. I made a decision early on that my wife wouldn't have this issue. My mom is my hero.... She did the best she could with what she had. My heart goes out to all the single mothers out there trying to provide for their family.

Now if only I can get rid of this anxiety I would have it all! LOL. God has blessed me so much and everything I have is because of Him. He teaches me patience each and every day. Thanks for listening!

Post Edited (Cornell) : 9/20/2014 8:09:21 PM (GMT-6)

It saddens me that it's taken me so long to figure this out, --- the part about not working harder, but working more effectively!!

But better now than not ever learning the lesson at all. Now I look back at the times and opportunities I wasted simply because I misunderstood and because I took everything at a literal value.

Well, times are changing and so am I!! :)





M.

Hi Merrida,

I hope you are well. I've just read your post here, and I understand what you mean, it resonates with me too. I have been inclined in the past to take things 'literally' or have my own meaning of what someone means, but not always looking for or knowing that there is a different way to look at it.

For example, someone says to me, you need to finish all your work in your school lessons, so I might sit there panicing, writing realms from a book, frantically trying to complete something, when I may not be learning anything, that way. Another example, I needed to eat all my dinner at school, so I once sat there, one of the last in the school hall trying to finish something I really did not like. If I was able to look outside of the box, I guess I could have only picked something I would have liked, picked a smaller portion, or let it go, knowing that I couldn't complete it, and somehow try to explain calmly and confidently why I didn't finish it.

Not so strangely enough, fear and worry did have an impact on me.